I never managed to grab one of those "less dangerous" school maps, and even though I am a junior I still have some trouble navigating this place. Does anyone know how to get to Advanced Intracellular Wormhole Generation? It's already halfway through the semester and I haven't attended a single class. It's in someplace called the "Worm Gardens". Can anyone point me in the right direction?

Hey @Clarke Thompson I recently got transferred from an internship on Carbesktan-15 to Ganymede. I'm not exactly sure why I was transferred, maybe it had something to do with my allergies, I think human mucus is a potent acid to some of the native species there. I've been keeping up with your post once I heard I was being transferred.

So yeah, I was already dropped off here when I read your post about how the whole internship was a setup. I guess the people who transferred me had no clue it was a setup. And now I have no clue what to do. I've been wandering around aimlessly since there was no real internship, to begin with, I found a Galactic Noodle Stand. Would you mind possibly telling Buffy to turn the ship around to pick me up. I definitely didn't pack the right clothes for this cold planet.

Please help

"So can we tell her?"

"No," says Buffy. "Not beyond what we've discussed. And shhhh you aren't on mute."

"Huh? Ohhhhh....."

Hi @Estreya Harlow! Yeah, uh... my Ganymede internship is, uh, over. But you mentioned Carbesktan-15. And Worm Gardens. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you might know more about Advanced Intracellular Wormhole Generation than you think.

How exactly did you get there?

Tell me everything you remember about Carbesktan-15. And how you arrived on Ganymede.

With Spring upon us, the yearlings in the earthworm corral are getting frisky.

So, in the interest of student safety, Worm Gardens will be closed for the month of April.

Thank you for your understanding.

------------------------

{photo of a tall fence near the woods}

Scenically located near the compost pile behind the gym, Worm Gardens is the experimental proving grounds for the Psychic 4-H Club's Worm Division.

Worm Division is known for breeding the plumpest, most intelligent, squirmiest giant earthworms in the tri-county area, having won blue ribbons in categories including Classical Dressage, Halter, Penning, Show Jumping, and Sidesaddle.

If you think Psychic 4-H is for you, contact your dorm's Psychic 4-H representative and they will take you through a series of tests and hypnotic regression therapy to see if you qualify. Why not do it today?

EXCERPTS FROM PROJECT WORMSIGN

definitelybuffy39982

(shaky and obscure phone video of dry grass and rocks)

The readings say it should be right around here somewhere... Have to be careful because I don't want to walk right into it, I could fall into another--- wait!

(camera shifts to a space up the hill, where a great brown nose is nudging up a rock)

THERE! See? I knew I could hear the worms under the earth. Have you ever stood around a wet lawn and heard the worms squirming through the mud? It's like that, but lower, and deeper. Also drier, since it's winter.

(the worm moves the rock aside, stretches out of the hole, and waves around in the air. it's a giant earthworm)

Ah, I've called a big one alright! Let's go take a closer look, shall we?

(the worm seems to notice Buffy approaching, then slips back into its hole)

They're shy. They really don't know their own size.

(the camera follows the ground for a short time, obviously forgotten by Buffy as she walks to the hole)

And... THERE! See it? Blacker than black, no light escaping, no depth... but watch...

(Buffy has turned the camera to the utterly black hole and throws a stick into it)

Bloop! Gone! Just like that. You couldn't even see it fall down the hole, because it's not a hole like that, it's more of a---whoops!

(the stick suddenly flies back out of the hole, landing on the nearby ground)

Oh! Sorry down there!

Anyway, computer, mark this GPS as Wormhole #998b, as per the Giant Intelligent Slug map. And we'll need to cordon off this whole area. Inform control.

Buffy out.

Well I've been a bit down on my luck after losing my job with the Psychic Rodeo Commission. Fumbles and I were able to retrieve @Les Noable and the rest of the students from those holographic bandits The Big Ropers, but not before they'd been dispersed into their constituent spectrums. So while those kids' are having their photons recohered I was put on administrative leave, which turned into full time leave. Fumbles too. He's taken it hard and moved back into his double-wide on the outskirts of the UHE.

Me, the only job I could find was workin' the worm stables for Psychic 4-H here on campus. Groomin' the worms, shoveling out their castings. They started getting frisky, what with the spring bursting out. Spirited, you know? Excitable. Skittish.

Now it looks like they've all gotten spooked and left the pasture. And with those holes they make, they could have gone anywhere! Looks like ol' Lasso Larry's gonna have to head out and see if he can't round 'em up.

EEEW! What IS this place? I kinda accidentally walked in here by mistake. You know, maybe I should ask around for some help, and a map...

I'm student leader of the Psyhigh's Spirit Guides (Troop 109). You've seen us in our orange vests doing our community service picking up lost things. We pick up a lot of lost things along the roadsides around campus, like phones and wallets and glasses and memories.

This week we were working on the service roads behind the school and stumbled into one of those wormholes everybody's talking about and do you know where we came out? Ganymede! I recognized it from those brochures about interstellar internships. We found a Galactic Noodle Stand and ran into @Estreya Harlow, who was getting pretty sick of Galactic Noodles but for Troop 109 I can tell you it was a treat!

Anyway, I know right where we came out on this side (the wormhole was behind some boxes in a storeroom) so I'm just going to lead us all back through and we'll be back on campus in a jiffy. Also, a number of the guides are ready for their Wormhole Navigation merit badge so this is a great opportunity.

"Great! So, on the map it says @Endicott Darnell can take Troop 109 back through wormhole #327x6 and land right back here behind the grounds maintenance garages."

"No," says Buffy. "Turn the map sideways. Into the light."

"Oh... I didn't know it could to that."

"See," continued @Buffy Chan. "Once you're committed to a path, we can't actually predict where a particular wormhole will end up. We can narrow it down to a some options, but that's it."

"Well we need to tell Endicott! They could be headed... oh my..."

"Yeah but we need more data," Buffy continued. "Maybe there are tendencies. We just haven't had the opportunity..."

"You want to use them as mice. As guinea pigs. Moving through the wormholes, exploring for you..."

"We tried it with drones but it's not the same. It's different for... living beings. Something about 'intent' we think."

"So you're just letting Endicott and that troop of guides..."

"Hey, they've got training. They're students. AND they're Spirit Guides. What could go wrong?"

"Spirit Guides sound off! Chavez?"

"Here!"

"Huang?"

"Yo!"

"Luna?"

"Present."

"Stallworth?"

"Here."

"Williams?"

"Yeah."

"Rodriguez?"

"Doyle?"

"Nowak?"

The last three were the imaginary scouts. It's ok. We could hear them.

"Guest @Estreya Harlow?"

Estreya nodded.

"Ok," I continued. "On our way in, it was a straight shot. But now there's a fork in the tunnel we didn't notice. We've got two choices."

"Three, scout Darnell," said scout Huang.

"Excuse me?"

"Three. There are three forks. Look."

"Well I'll be. Three. Ok, we've got three choices."

"Four, Endicott," said Williams.

"What? Now... well I'll be. They seem to be multiplying. But that's ok. What we need to do now is use our Spirit Guide training and concentrate on Lost Things. Everybody got it? Begin the Lost Things Sutra now, and the path will become clear. Ready"

"But scout Darnell?" asked Chavez. "In this case, aren't WE the lost thing? I mean, we're lost, right?"

"It doesn't matter. Everybody concentrate! On the count of three. One... two... three!"

And a little blue will-o-the-wisp appeared inside one of the rapidly multiplying holes.

"Spirit Guides, ahead!"