EXCERPTS FROM PROJECT WORMSIGN

definitelybuffy39982

The reality thinning has reached a critical level.

If only that the wormholes were the biggest challenge we were facing. @Endicott Darnell and Troop 109 of the Spirit Guides remain unaccounted for, and @Lasso Larry is lost who knows where in the ever expanding burrow of tunnels. But unfortunately those problems pale in comparison to the ensuing thinning of reality at Psyhigh.

I was in the cafeteria at lunch, conducting a battery of volunteer diagnostic tests on the student body, and there were definitely students who insisted they were "roleplaying" -- feeling as if they were IN our world, but not OF it. Like they were operating characters remotely, from some imaginary place. Yes -- exactly what we would expect if an extra-dimensional life form (like the ɛʄռʊʍӄɛӄɛ or similar entities) were using some kind of arcane technology to inhabit our world from a distance like a game. But they forgot to mute the cross chatter.

It's not all students, thank god, but if this thinning continues to grow I fear it could undermine the whole reality of Psyhigh.

What to do? Usually such entities dissipate through time, since it's impossible to maintain reality in such a state. Or they move on to different parallel universes filled with other such "roleplaying" entities, which is perhaps a more natural fit for them. But if only there were some cure, like a vaccine, or an enlightening symbol we could provide. If such a symbol were, for instance, flashed at high speeds on student's computers subliminally, could it help to anchor these students more firmly in reality?

Computer, take a note. And inform Control.

Buffy out.

“Scout Darnell, I have visual through the bushes. I can confirm it’s us. There’s Huang, Luna, you, me, Stallworth, Williams....”

“Any sign of the imaginary scouts, Chavez?”

“No, but that’s to be expected.”

“Roger that.”

“However... I don’t see an @Estreya Harlow there. Unless she’s wandered off.”

“That’s to be expected too. We found her already, so she’s not lost. Just us.”

“Makes sense. But what do we do now? Our oath says we must help the lost things...”

“But cross-dimensional travel guidelines are quite clear. If we come in direct contact...”

“... then...”

“That’s right. The big kablooie.”

“Wait, there’s something happening. They’re splitting up. And, uh, I think they’ve spotted us. You and I are heading this way!”

“Quick!  Back to the wormhole!”

"I thought you said the reality walls WEREN'T thinning?"

"Well, it turns out we were misapplying the Eckhart readings," said @Buffy Chan. She's eating cup noodle and looking over data.

"Look at this," she says.

The screen on the laptop shows a map of tunnels. Wormholes, I assume, but more tightly packed than the maps Buffy usually looks at.

"Are there really that many? I didn't know it had gotten that bad."

"Oh... it's a... well. Ok, you can keep a secret."

"I'm a junior agent, right?"

"Intern. But remember your psychic NDA."

She was right. I couldn't talk about it even if I wanted to.

"Anyway," she continued, "when you extrapolate an additional Eckhart dimension based on the density..." She pushed a button, and the map transformed. "Then there's thinning. Significant thinning."

"And this means....?"

"Well, you've noticed it. And I've noticed it."

"You mean... those students?"

"Exactly, THOSE students. The ones who talk about themselves and each other like they're not really here."

"Like they're narrating an imaginary story they're pretending to be in?"

"Yup. This is what happens when reality thins."

EXCERPTS FROM PROJECT WORMSIGN

definitelybuffy39982

Wormholes #99XX through #1273c have now been mapped and tagged. The grounds under much of the school are like swiss cheese, especially under both Blavatsky and Seeger dorms, which suits our research needs perfectly.

@Janitor Pete has been a big help putting yellow tape up around the wormholes we don't need more info on, and for the most part we're directing traffic away from them (except for the occasional student as needed for control purposes). But we've successfully kept Mr. Pete unaware the full extent of the activity underneath the dorms, and they remain fully occupied. Once they break through and fall into the wormscape we should have a bunch of new data. If we don't see breakthrough in the next few days, we'll implement PROJECT BLASTEMUP to get things moving.

So far we can find no evidence of Dr. Freemium's theory of "thinning" reality walls. Well, circumstantial evidence at best. Eckhart readings remain within acceptable parameters, though upon casual observation it's possible some students aren't "fully there." Impossible to tell without full diagnostic testing, but my team just doesn't have the resources for that at this time.

Buffy out.

"Spirit Guides sound off! Chavez?"

"Here!"

"Huang?"

"Yo!"

"Luna?"

"Present."

"Stallworth?"

"Here."

"Williams?"

"Yeah."

"Rodriguez?"

"Doyle?"

"Nowak?"

The last three were the imaginary scouts. It's ok. We could hear them.

"Guest @Estreya Harlow?"

Estreya nodded.

"Ok," I continued. "On our way in, it was a straight shot. But now there's a fork in the tunnel we didn't notice. We've got two choices."

"Three, scout Darnell," said scout Huang.

"Excuse me?"

"Three. There are three forks. Look."

"Well I'll be. Three. Ok, we've got three choices."

"Four, Endicott," said Williams.

"What? Now... well I'll be. They seem to be multiplying. But that's ok. What we need to do now is use our Spirit Guide training and concentrate on Lost Things. Everybody got it? Begin the Lost Things Sutra now, and the path will become clear. Ready"

"But scout Darnell?" asked Chavez. "In this case, aren't WE the lost thing? I mean, we're lost, right?"

"It doesn't matter. Everybody concentrate! On the count of three. One... two... three!"

And a little blue will-o-the-wisp appeared inside one of the rapidly multiplying holes.

"Spirit Guides, ahead!"

"Great! So, on the map it says @Endicott Darnell can take Troop 109 back through wormhole #327x6 and land right back here behind the grounds maintenance garages."

"No," says Buffy. "Turn the map sideways. Into the light."

"Oh... I didn't know it could to that."

"See," continued @Buffy Chan. "Once you're committed to a path, we can't actually predict where a particular wormhole will end up. We can narrow it down to a some options, but that's it."

"Well we need to tell Endicott! They could be headed... oh my..."

"Yeah but we need more data," Buffy continued. "Maybe there are tendencies. We just haven't had the opportunity..."

"You want to use them as mice. As guinea pigs. Moving through the wormholes, exploring for you..."

"We tried it with drones but it's not the same. It's different for... living beings. Something about 'intent' we think."

"So you're just letting Endicott and that troop of guides..."

"Hey, they've got training. They're students. AND they're Spirit Guides. What could go wrong?"

I'm student leader of the Psyhigh's Spirit Guides (Troop 109). You've seen us in our orange vests doing our community service picking up lost things. We pick up a lot of lost things along the roadsides around campus, like phones and wallets and glasses and memories.

This week we were working on the service roads behind the school and stumbled into one of those wormholes everybody's talking about and do you know where we came out? Ganymede! I recognized it from those brochures about interstellar internships. We found a Galactic Noodle Stand and ran into @Estreya Harlow, who was getting pretty sick of Galactic Noodles but for Troop 109 I can tell you it was a treat!

Anyway, I know right where we came out on this side (the wormhole was behind some boxes in a storeroom) so I'm just going to lead us all back through and we'll be back on campus in a jiffy. Also, a number of the guides are ready for their Wormhole Navigation merit badge so this is a great opportunity.

EEEW! What IS this place? I kinda accidentally walked in here by mistake. You know, maybe I should ask around for some help, and a map...

Well I've been a bit down on my luck after losing my job with the Psychic Rodeo Commission. Fumbles and I were able to retrieve @Les Noable and the rest of the students from those holographic bandits The Big Ropers, but not before they'd been dispersed into their constituent spectrums. So while those kids' are having their photons recohered I was put on administrative leave, which turned into full time leave. Fumbles too. He's taken it hard and moved back into his double-wide on the outskirts of the UHE.

Me, the only job I could find was workin' the worm stables for Psychic 4-H here on campus. Groomin' the worms, shoveling out their castings. They started getting frisky, what with the spring bursting out. Spirited, you know? Excitable. Skittish.

Now it looks like they've all gotten spooked and left the pasture. And with those holes they make, they could have gone anywhere! Looks like ol' Lasso Larry's gonna have to head out and see if he can't round 'em up.

EXCERPTS FROM PROJECT WORMSIGN

definitelybuffy39982

(shaky and obscure phone video of dry grass and rocks)

The readings say it should be right around here somewhere... Have to be careful because I don't want to walk right into it, I could fall into another--- wait!

(camera shifts to a space up the hill, where a great brown nose is nudging up a rock)

THERE! See? I knew I could hear the worms under the earth. Have you ever stood around a wet lawn and heard the worms squirming through the mud? It's like that, but lower, and deeper. Also drier, since it's winter.

(the worm moves the rock aside, stretches out of the hole, and waves around in the air. it's a giant earthworm)

Ah, I've called a big one alright! Let's go take a closer look, shall we?

(the worm seems to notice Buffy approaching, then slips back into its hole)

They're shy. They really don't know their own size.

(the camera follows the ground for a short time, obviously forgotten by Buffy as she walks to the hole)

And... THERE! See it? Blacker than black, no light escaping, no depth... but watch...

(Buffy has turned the camera to the utterly black hole and throws a stick into it)

Bloop! Gone! Just like that. You couldn't even see it fall down the hole, because it's not a hole like that, it's more of a---whoops!

(the stick suddenly flies back out of the hole, landing on the nearby ground)

Oh! Sorry down there!

Anyway, computer, mark this GPS as Wormhole #998b, as per the Giant Intelligent Slug map. And we'll need to cordon off this whole area. Inform control.

Buffy out.