Lasso Larry

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Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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8/29/2020 10:32pm

Well heck I gotta admit it's a mixed bag with the way the Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo turned out. On the one hand, it was such a barn buster I've been offered a position at the Psychic Rodeo Commission! That's right, they've made me a sheriff. And, as I get to pick my own deputy, I'm bringing along Fumbles the Clown. It'll do us both a world of good to have steady jobs. Fumbles is especially excited about the mental health benefits.

On the other hand, The Big Ropers turned out to be a big sham! When they said all they wanted in return for their appearance were the eternal souls of 10% off our students, well, I just thought it was a figure of speech. Like, "it would be a really great show." But now @Les Noable and the rest have been spirited away by those holographic hucksters, and it looks like my first job as a sheriff of the Psychic Rodeo Commission is to chase down those spectral varmints and rescue the hostages before they have time to complete the ritual.

Which means I've got to be moseying along, little psychic buckaroos. And uh, if you've got one of them vouchers for your fair prize, like @Cairo Ostracon or @Julia Nye or @Abigail C, you just check with @Ms. Hazeltine and she'll take care of everything.

PSYippytiyiyo little doggies!





Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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8/21/2020 9:39pm

Well don't get your chaps in a bunch, @Meigle 7. We know how to treat our rodeo creatures fair & square. We have dedicated wranglers and safety protocols we follow for all our stock, be they of the overly cute mammal, ferocious insect, ravenous reptile, or completely mythical variety. Plus, each featured species of critter has an assigned empath, who remains completely in touch with their herd throughout the event. These empaths feel everything that each animal feels, and you can observe these empaths in their cages suspended over the arena. We call these empaths "psychic rodeo clowns," and are recognizable by their traditional face paint and red noses and colorful attire.

And there's still time to sign up for these rip roarin' events! And enter the Rose Pie Eating Contest to boot. Drop on by the Old Corral in the morning! Fair events open at high noon, various activities in the corral all afternoon, and the rodeo starts at 8.

Lookin' forward to seein' y'all there!








Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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8/17/2020 10:39pm

Well heck @Julia Nye I think you better get your Dihydrogen Monoxide concoction entered into the Industrial Psychic Chemistry competition coming up at the Psychic High School Psychic Fair and Rodeo, this Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral. Did you know you can have a booth and give away free samples and win fabulous prizes?

Well ‘ya can!

Along with Industrial Psychic Chemistry, there’ll be prizes awarded for the best Honey & Products of the Hive (giant division), best flaming bouffant, a judging contest (not for the easily offended), who makes the best Rose Pie, and a whole lot more!

Special guests: The Big Ropers

Don't forget to sign up today!

See ya' in the tack room.





Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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8/11/2020 8:57pm

Well heck yeah, @Cairo Ostracon there'll be a cat flying room. One for the small cats and one for the big cats. There'll also be a butterfly tying room, mind baking contest, worm pulling tournament (weather permitting), a corn-mile jump, and an antique doctor pull. This is a proper psychic fair and rodeo.

You might have noticed the Great Horned Beetles that arrived in the semi-trucks recently--looks like the team roping event is on. The Brontos are due to be airlifted in this weekend, the ghosts are beginning to arrive by mail for the wrangling contest, and those Giant Poisonous Centipedes are looking pretty surly in their pens. They'll be in quite a mood when the barrel racing starts.

Plus! Surprise special guests this year: The Big Ropers! You just won't believe what they will do to you. Stay tuned on that one!

It all happens Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost. Don't forget to sign up today!





Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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7/30/2020 10:39pm

RIDERS WANTED!

This here's an open invitation for all the psychic cowpunks and bareback brain busters at Psychic High School:

We are now taking entrants for the Psyhigh Rodeo, to be held Saturday, August 22nd, in the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost.

Sign up in the tack room to try your hand at classic psychic rodeo events such as ( but not limited to):

Bareback Bronto Bustin'
Ghost Wrangling
Pegacorn Riding (Eastern Style)
Team Devil Roping
Giant Poisonous Centipede Barrel Racing
Horned One Wrestling

Centaurs with student ID from the UHE (United Horse Empire) are welcome to participate.

Get your name in the running today to win FABULOUS PRIZES!

See ya' in the tack room!





Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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7/25/2020 10:04pm

Well yee-heck. Ever since my troubles with that wildcat @Lily Piedmont, I've been a bit down in the dumps. I thought I'd be doin' some good by spending my retirement teaching little whippersnappers what I knew about equine wranglin', what with my twenty years experience as the number one stunt rider for flying ponies in Hollywood. But kids these days, I tell 'ya.

So I made the mistake of moving into Fumbles the Rodeo Clown's double-wide on the outskirts of the UHE (United Horse Empire), and well we fell into some old bad habits, drinking cactus juice from sunup to midnight, burnin' bonfires and throwing bottles. Ventually the UHE Centaur Cops had to get involved, but it was all for the best because it was time for ol' Flying Lasso Larry to clean up his act and get back on that pony.

And that's when I had the inspiration for the Psyhigh Rodeo, @Ms. Hazeltine.






Flying Horse Club
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5/3/2020 7:50pm

Well YEE HAW if @Lily Piedmont isn't an ungrateful little stinker. She's been angrier than a bee chewing on a mouthful of ... bees... rattlin' around in the wunderbottle I trapped her in. It's a shame she can't just sit back and enjoy the ride.

That little filly has no idea what kinda life I just saved her from. Hot roddin' down Tornado Alley, all-night drinking parties at the Waterspout, tattoo parlors on Crete... Those Snatchers spit 'em out as soon as they jump 'em into their gang, and leave their broken bodies in the wake of the storm.

I'm sure little Lily will thank me some day. I finally arrived back on campus this evening, and lookin' forward to a long comfortable night in my bunk--just as soon as I drop her off with the discipline committee. But she stays in the wunderbottle till then! I sure don't want to be around when they open it.






Flying Horse Club
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4/26/2020 3:47pm

Well YEE HAW I'm out here on the cloud frontier with my sky stallion Snappy, still lookin' to lasso little @Lily Piedmont and take her home. Been campin' out on the cumulous by night, always one cloud bank behind the meteorological miscreants what stole her.

I know she's gone native, but those Sky Snatchers aren't comin' clean with little Miss Lilly about their true nature. They snatch little kids all the time, tellin' 'em stories about how they'll never have to grow up, just stay up there in the clouds swoopin' around singin' rain songs.

But the truth of it's much darker, as you can see by the skies. Cold black clouds like funeral shrouds roll down their icy threat, and I face to fight this raging night with odds on the side death. For a stampeding herd of Sky Snatchers when it's panic is stirred is a thing for a cowboy to shun. For no mortal man ever holds command--when the Snatchers are on the run.

Harpyiai!





Flying Horse Club
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4/19/2020 6:26am

Well YEE HAW I'm lookin' forward to takin' a bunch of you psychic buckaroos out with the flying ponies again this morning at the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost.

This time we've got a special lesson ahead of us, my psychic cowpokes! Poor little @Lily Piedmont still hasn't made it home from somewhere out in those clouds, so we'll be formin' a Flying Psychic Pony Posse to round her up! And that means it might be time for ol' Lasso Larry to give you some of his famous Mind Lasso Lessons. 

I've made up a bundle of brisket sandwiches, and my old buddy Fumbles the Rodeo Clown has agreed to come along and help out. Old Fumbles and I go way back from our flying pony stunt riding days in Hollywood, but Fumbles lived a bit harder and faster than yours truly, being a clown and all. He's back on this feet though, boys and girls, and doing his best to stay "on the wagon" if you know what I mean. And what I mean is he'll literally be driving the flying chuckwagon on this trip, ready to handle your hungry psychic appetites.

See you at the Old Corral at 10am, and we'll solve the mystery of our little lost pony girl faster than you can lick a three-eyed toad!
YEE HAW!!!!!





Flying Horse Club
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4/11/2020 8:44pm

Well YEE HAW and watch out for the hooves!

Hi. I'm Flying Lasso Larry, and I'm hoping to see plenty of you little psychic rascals down at the Old Corral at 10am sharp tomorrow for part two in my series entitled "How to Ride a Flying Pony Just like You See in the Movies."

As those youngsters that attended last week already know, I was the number one stunt rider for flying ponies in Hollywood for over twenty years, and I know a thing or two about being a sky jockey. I've been brought in by the Extensionist Committee to teach you kids a thing or two about defensive flyin' pony ridin' -- how to skeedaddle on outta trouble when the centaurs start gettin' nasty with their crossbows, or the grumpy old one-eyed mountain ogres with their slingshots, or the persistent Megavultures out near Lonely Pines with their razor sharp beaks and ugly claws and terrible breath. I also show you how to double back, trip up, play dead, and all the other basic moves of defensive flying.

You all did great last week, and we made it through with just a single injury. But don't you worry kids I've heard that @Ms. Hazeltine will be up an at 'em in no time! Just as soon as she's out of traction.

So come on down the the Old Corral at 10am! You probably don't even need a parachute. Lunch for this event will be ham and pickle sandwiches at the Cloud 9 Floating Observational Platform that I'm making myself you right now. Hope you all like lotsa mustard! Har har har.