Well YEE HAW if @Lily Piedmont
isn't an ungrateful little stinker. She's been angrier than a bee chewing on a mouthful of ... bees... rattlin' around in the wunderbottle I trapped her in. It's a shame she can't just sit back and enjoy the ride.
That little filly has no idea what kinda life I just saved her from. Hot roddin' down Tornado Alley, all-night drinking parties at the Waterspout, tattoo parlors on Crete... Those Snatchers spit 'em out as soon as they jump 'em into their gang, and leave their broken bodies in the wake of the storm.
I'm sure little Lily will thank me some day. I finally arrived back on campus this evening, and lookin' forward to a long comfortable night in my bunk--just as soon as I drop her off with the discipline committee. But she stays in the wunderbottle till then! I sure don't want to be around when they open it.
Well YEE HAW I'm out here on the cloud frontier with my sky stallion Snappy, still lookin' to lasso little @Lily Piedmont
and take her home. Been campin' out on the cumulous by night, always one cloud bank behind the meteorological miscreants what stole her.
I know she's gone native, but those Sky Snatchers aren't comin' clean with little Miss Lilly about their true nature. They snatch little kids all the time, tellin' 'em stories about how they'll never have to grow up, just stay up there in the clouds swoopin' around singin' rain songs.
But the truth of it's much darker, as you can see by the skies. Cold black clouds like funeral shrouds roll down their icy threat, and I face to fight this raging night with odds on the side death. For a stampeding herd of Sky Snatchers when it's panic is stirred is a thing for a cowboy to shun. For no mortal man ever holds command--when the Snatchers are on the run.
Well YEE HAW I'm lookin' forward to takin' a bunch of you psychic buckaroos out with the flying ponies again this morning at the Old Corral, located behind the gym right near them great big piles of sentient compost.
This time we've got a special lesson ahead of us, my psychic cowpokes! Poor little @Lily Piedmont
still hasn't made it home from somewhere out in those clouds, so we'll be formin' a Flying Psychic Pony Posse to round her up! And that means it might be time for ol' Lasso Larry to give you some of his famous Mind Lasso Lessons.
I've made up a bundle of brisket sandwiches, and my old buddy Fumbles the Rodeo Clown has agreed to come along and help out. Old Fumbles and I go way back from our flying pony stunt riding days in Hollywood, but Fumbles lived a bit harder and faster than yours truly, being a clown and all. He's back on this feet though, boys and girls, and doing his best to stay "on the wagon" if you know what I mean. And what I mean is he'll literally be driving the flying chuckwagon on this trip, ready to handle your hungry psychic appetites.
See you at the Old Corral at 10am, and we'll solve the mystery of our little lost pony girl faster than you can lick a three-eyed toad!
Well YEE HAW and watch out for the hooves!
Hi. I'm Flying Lasso Larry, and I'm hoping to see plenty of you little psychic rascals down at the Old Corral at 10am sharp tomorrow for part two in my series entitled "How to Ride a Flying Pony Just like You See in the Movies."
As those youngsters that attended last week already know, I was the number one stunt rider for flying ponies in Hollywood for over twenty years, and I know a thing or two about being a sky jockey. I've been brought in by the Extensionist Committee to teach you kids a thing or two about defensive flyin' pony ridin' -- how to skeedaddle on outta trouble when the centaurs start gettin' nasty with their crossbows, or the grumpy old one-eyed mountain ogres with their slingshots, or the persistent Megavultures out near Lonely Pines with their razor sharp beaks and ugly claws and terrible breath. I also show you how to double back, trip up, play dead, and all the other basic moves of defensive flying.
You all did great last week, and we made it through with just a single injury. But don't you worry kids I've heard that @Ms. Hazeltine
will be up an at 'em in no time! Just as soon as she's out of traction.
So come on down the the Old Corral at 10am! You probably don't even need a parachute. Lunch for this event will be ham and pickle sandwiches at the Cloud 9 Floating Observational Platform that I'm making myself you right now. Hope you all like lotsa mustard! Har har har.