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4/1/2019 5:21pm

I, and I cannot stress this enough, HATE April Fool's day.

There's a salesman who keeps coming to our door. He knocks 3 times exactly, and if you don't answer he waits before ringing the doorbell another 3 times. He leaves, and then approx. 30 minutes later he comes back and repeats this process.

I've answered the door to him 6 times. This is not a normal man, if you couldn't already tell. I literally cannot comprehend what he looks like, my eyes can't focus on his facial features no matter how much I try. It's just blurry nothingness, a swirling vortex of blended flesh. When I attempt to look him in the face I feel uneasy and nauseous.

He comes to you wearing a black pinstripe business suit, white collared undershirt, completed with a black tie. Sometimes he appears with a trilby, sometimes not. He attempted to sell me something in his briefcase each time but never once had he actually shown me what he's selling - just various explanations on how said product will fix all my problems (no matter the problem I'm having, he says the product will fix it.)

He. Keeps. Coming. Back.

I told my mom and sister to not bother answering the door. They took it lightly at first, but now we're all relatively freaked out and annoyed.

I'm not going to buy whatever this man is selling. If this is an April Fool's prank (which i kinda doubt) then you have waaay too much free time to keep coming to the same exact house and harassing us.

Is this man benevolent or malicious? Why does he want me to buy his suitcase so badly? Why does looking directly at him make me feel 3 seconds away from passing out?

... aaand he's back. Screw it, I'm talking to him. brb!

Okay, I just got finished speaking to the man. I basically just asked him what his deal was, and he totally ignored me and went back to speaking about his product. I told him yet again I wasn't interested, and that I'm not going to answer the door anymore. He told me to have a nice night. Yikes.

Well I guess this is just how my April first is going to go. Happy April Fools, everyone. Don't play cruel pranks & don't send cryptic salesmen to peoples homes, because my brain cells are all slowly fizzling out every time I hear a doorbell ring.

Knock knock knock,
Kerry Crowleys.

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3/25/2019 7:24pm

Inching my way back to normalcy is difficult.

Every day is a new challenge - a challenge in which I try not to freak out at the slightest thing and, of course, fail. My mom has been a great support, as have been Ann-Marie and Abe (whenever they can find the time to visit, that is).

Still, It's going to be a long while before I can accept that this is just... who I am now. I am Kerry Crowleys, a teenage boy with psychological problems, amnesia, and identity issues. Simple enough, right? Yeah.

...Aaanyways, on a lighter note, I talked to someone yesterday. My sister! Did you know I had a sister? Probably not. I sure didn't. God it's hot in here.

So, yeah, sister. Her name's Kelsey and she's older than me, in her mid 20s. She lives in another state, but told me she's coming to visit real soon. She.. actually cried while on the phone. She sounded so happy to hear my voice. It's honestly really weird to experience this.

I can't help but feel guilty. These people - well, my family (still getting used to that) - all know me. They raised me, or grew up alongside me, all have feelings for me... that I just can't requite. I don't remember these people and now I have to get used to living with them as if I'm a total stranger. I feel awful thinking about that.

i haven't slept in a while. i keep seeing eyes in my walls. downing coffee #9 now.

I am okay. I have everything under control. I can get through this. I am okay.

... You know, hopefully sometime soon I'm gonna start believing in those things I tell myself. Jesus, how long have I been writing this? GET IT TOGETHER, CROWLEYS.

Andro. I can't help but wonder what you're doing now. Sleeping? Working? uh, waiting for me? Okay writing that last part out makes me sound dumb but... I don't know. I do think I've cracked the code on why I feel so empty without you. These people, my mom, my sister, this neighborhood. I don't know them like I know you. Or, well, at least how you are now. I cling to what is familiar and hide once I feel uncomfortable by something new. That's my problem. Write back soon, okay? I feel pathetic writing one-sided letters to you but I don't know what else to do.

I'm crashing. I need sleep now. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my journals, if anyone still does... I'm not the most reliable narrator and I become more unreliable as days go by. I'm also a narrator who never stops rambling so I'll stop while I'm ahead.

Thank you,
Kerry Crowleys.

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3/22/2019 3:13pm

andro. that's your name, isn't it?

back when we were younger we knew each other. my family said i acted different ever since we met. for better or worse, i'll never know.

i don't know if you're the cause of my amnesia. my... psychological problems and my physical problems. i still don't know what you want from me.

we were friends when we were kids. we went our separate ways. sometimes friends drift. that's normal, it happens to everyone

you didn't do anything. and even if you did, i can't remember anything, i don't hold anything against you from the past.

andro, i want to learn more about you. what drove you to start hurting people?

i stopped posting journal entries after meeting abe because he told me things about myself i couldn't remember. he let me call my mom and talk to her. i actually talked to her! andro, you have to remember her too, right?

i came to the conclusion this school is bad for me. if i am "gifted" i should keep it to myself. i had a life before this place and i want to get back to it. i wanted to go home for the first time in years because i finally knew where home was.

ann-marie found me. i feel terrible for leaving her worried. she found me and i told her not to worry anymore and that i've been okay this whole time. better than okay. i was the happiest i've ever been. i told her not to post on this website anymore and return back to her life. she did

and, suddenly, normalcy was, well, my normal. i hadn't heard from you in months. i was ecstatic. everything terrible that had happened to me in the past year felt like a distant memory. trauma i'd recovered from.

my mom told me as much about you as she could remember. me and you were really close - she said "conjoined at the hip". we were friends until around 8th grade and then we just stopped one day. i don't know why and neither does she. do you remember?

it was going great until last week. i woke up in my bed in my mom's house as usual. i go downstairs to get ready for the day and while as i stare at myself in the mirror it just dawns on me. i miss you

i miss you andro. and not as my ex childhood friend who i can't remember, i miss "ellipsis". i miss this character you're playing who hates me, who hates my friends, who just wants to do nothing but torture me. you want me to suffer, and i miss you.

i know i should hate you for everything you've done but i can't bring myself to do it. i don't understand this and that makes me afraid

i think i miss the thrill of the hunt, learning more information about you. it felt like i was chasing you. i knew i would never be alone because i had you over my shoulder. i had no privacy when you were around and at the time i hated that but now i miss that feeling. you always knew where i was at every moment i was at that school, what changed? why did you stop looking for me. what did i do to make you stop? i don't understand, ellipsis. andro. whoever you are now. i want to talk to you again.

where did you go??

i learned something else. my name is kerry
but you already knew that, right?

forever yours,
kerry crowleys

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8/24/2018 3:27pm

chapter 4
eros v. thanatos
"stop attempting to fight urges - we are animals.
fucking accept it, puss--"


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6/17/2018 11:25am


Only last night he felt deadly sick, and, after a great deal of pain, two black crows flew out of his mouth and took wing from the room.
Gesta Romanorum—Tale XLV.


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5/27/2018 11:31pm

i found him

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File Cabinets of Mystery
5/3/2018 6:15am

@Melon Seawater wait, really?? by administration i'm assuming you mean the psychics chumps who work for this school. like a principal or something... (does this school even have principals...?)

but i guess why would school staff have access to security cameras. who exactly is this "administration" youre talking about. good job being just vague enough to be creep me out, mel

would those guys be the type to tamper with those security cameras, 'cause the one i looked at is basically my only lead to find my missing friend. that'd seriously mess me up. seemed legit, and.......

oh wait i only just realized you were talking about ANIMAL FOOD CHAINS. yeah, no, not quite what i was talking about. psychics, i swear... you guys are really something!

have fun converting them to digital i guess! thanks for.. talking to me about animals? not sure if you read the craziness of gavcrowleys' profile/journal/whatever but we do have sort of a bird theme going on that "ellipsis" made up. i'm mourning dove. gav's a crow. or he used to be, or something, i didn't really listen to him lmao i'm just a normal human who hopes i wont get lynched for being on this weird website. i'm rambling a lot about stuff not even relating to "file cabinets of mystery" so i'm gonna go. thanks anyways though <3!

- ann-marie

File Cabinets of Mystery
4/27/2018 5:30pm

bingo, bros. gav has been spotted.

i went around asking food chains if they could check their security cameras to see if we could find a "dark haired person of interest with dorky glasses". i guess they assumed i was a cop or something.

so i went to the coffee shop nearby this place.... and viola. caught the bastard with some middle-aged guy on 2/26. it was probably that "abe" character who wanted to meet up. they went off over an hour of talking, i assume back to abe's place. the waitress who showed me the cam told me she thought she saw them go to the apartment complex west from there.

so basically, your girl got a lead! and a date with the cute waitress B)

and it just hit me gav's been gone for almost 3 months. i really hope he's okay. probably still thinks i hate him. i never apologized for snubbing him

OH WELL i'll have all the time in the world to feel bad later. we have a gavvers to find.

- ann-marie

4/7/2018 11:22pm

psyhigh is crazy. are doll flu's really the norm for you guys? wack. i really need to get to know gav more. speaking of, no signs of him yet. but i did see an overabundance of Crow feathers. and y'all know how much ... loves his metaphors or w/e. won't quit looking for him tho. not yet

anyway i can't judge. better to live an interesting life than a boring average life like mine.

- ann-marie

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3/26/2018 2:10am

uhh,,,,, hi??? i'm ann-marie i guess? yall know gavcrowleys probs. considering this is his account so i mean. fjhjfjhdf let me cut to the chase; he's been missing for about a month and a half now. i walked into his dorm cuz he wasnt responding to my texts.

got kinda pissed cause im finally stopping the silent treatment and he doesn't respond lmao so i walked my dumb ass on over to an empty room and an open laptop with this website on it. i know the whole routine so you don't gotta add me to a public enemy list or whatever you psychics do. aaaanywaaaaayyyy

at first i just wanted to snoop lol. can you blame me? i admit me blaming him for the death of my family was childish but justified at the time. i was in a very vulnerable state and just couldn't get my mind straight and nothing weird started until i gave him the info on the ellipsis guy. i'm over it now.

but i saw he went to meet this "abe" guy in his last post??? maybe they're just kickin it hanging out somewhere? idfk but i ain't quitting my search 'til we find my partner in crime

also ellipsis calling me mourning dove pisses me off. fuck you asshole. die mad

- ann-marie

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