I don't have a car, @Psychic Bicycle Joe, but you can stop by Sapir/Whorf anytime for a cup of coffee. On the house! ;)

Here's that job posting from Sapir/Whorf, @Terror Bean:

NEEDED: BREAKFAST COOK

Sapir/Whorf--your local infoshop, local music venue, and PWYC coffee stop--seeks short order breakfast cook. Formerly reality based, Sapir/Whorf is moving into the Unreality Space, and will begin offering "Special Breakfast" to select customers able to read our unreality-based breakfast menu.

Skills & Requirements:

Candidates should have a firm grasp of ethereal and transcendental cooking techniques, includingVegan, Vegetarian, Cage Free, Alchemical, Magical, Sotapannical, Sakadagamical, Anāgāmical, and Arahatical. Candidates will be asked to perform a wide range of enlightening breakfast creation tasks intended to dismiss the veil of illusion created by reality-based breakfasts.

One year previous experience required, preferably in a trans-real kitchen environment.

To apply: Visit Sapir/Whorf and be prepared to create an unreal breakfast with ingredients of our choosing.

@xiirth, since you're the breakfast expert, feel free to pass this around to any of your other Twenty Minute Breakfast Club acquaintances. Sapir/Worf is a great place to work! Except the getting paid part. Also, what about @Mulemai Selenei's egg?

Wait a minute -- THE @Terror Bean, from the Goldentouch Family Restaurant -- the old-fashioned, family-friendly diner known for breakfast & classic American comfort food? AKA THE FOREVER DINER? Where @Gretel and her gang had all that trouble?

If you've got that on your resume, you should check out the job post at Sapir/Whorf. We're thinking about opening for Psychic Breakfast, since Reality Breakfast was totally not paying off.

Sapir/Whorf is getting the reality shaft. Guess we weren't paying our bill. We've got water, and electric, but people walk right by and don't see us. We don't register because we are no longer on the Reality Register. The cost was too high.

But @Psychic Bicycle Joe still knows where to find us. He comes in and I make him a mocha, and I've gotten real good at making the psyhigh logo with the foam. I asked him if it was too uncool to go to the Valentine's Heart Throb Dance with me and he said no, not too uncool if he could hang with me. :)

So there's a new boy at school - @Psychic Bicycle Joe. I keep seeing him all over town on his psychic bicycle. I swear he's ridden past the window at Sapir/Whorf three times a day for the past week, crunching right over the ice and snow or straight up the sides of buildings and on the rooftops. I wish he'd bring me a package. ;) Cool bike. And I like a boy with a job.

My other grandpa slept in a Sound Cave. Grandma made it for him out of clay because his snoring was so bad she couldn't sleep. It was designed like a bell so that the sound of his snores resonated perfectly back into his brain, which he claimed elevated him to a higher level of consciousness that allowed him to exist more fully in the dream world.

I watched the light men (or snow-men) leave tonight. I was closing at Sapir/Whorf and looked out the window and saw them filling the streets. Walking calmly, drawn like moths to a flame towards the street lights.

Then, they started to ascend. Or according to @Ella Shanks descend, I guess. But they were dissolving and floating upwards, bit by bit, like electric snowflakes or rain or tiny sparks, up into the lights. They didn't make a sound.

I watched it for awhile, then finished sweeping up.

Was it really right to send them all back? They never ended up wrecking the place or killing anybody like in @Princess Karnack's article. They seemed to fit in real well, actually, except for the shocking people part. Why were we scared of them? Was it really our right to send them back?

Or maybe they were more like weird dimensional deep-sea creatures, just responding to stimuli, and we used that to guide them home?

Either way, it kinda spooked me to think about on my way home in the dark.

Sapir/Whorf is holding an anti-Black Friday/buy-nothing learn-in and guerrilla salon this weekend, but only the regulars showed up. Plus the whole anti-Black Friday thing is now getting co-opted by giant corporations, so what's the point? Might as well buy something from your local/indie stores and help out mom&pops, I figure.

But the streets of town are filled with the snow-men or whatever, the static/light people, doing a giant shopping crawl from the Walmart to the Costco. It's like a zombie riot out there! If you get caught up in it and need to escape, drop by Sapir/Whorf and I'm here making PWYC coffee.

The snow-men are everywhere in town! Have you seen them? They are totally multiplying.

I was in Ray's Diner, because they'll let you do your homework in there late as long as you buy one cup of coffee. I looked up and counted 7 of them, all wearing trench coats and fedoras, sitting at the counter, sitting at booths. But you could see their grey static skin sparkling in their hands when they held their menus or their coffees and you could see their grey static skin sparkling in their cheeks when they turned to whisper to each other.

I got out of there right away.

Last night I saw the light men. Or maybe one of @Princess Karnack's "snow-men."

I don't remember getting out of bed, but I was at my window looking out, over the yard, towards the trees, at the little dirt road that used to take you out to the street. Before the subdivision got built and blocked us in.

I'm looking and I see three figures, human shaped, walking together, and I think one was slapping the other on the back and joking around. But they were glowing, like they were transparent people filled with static electricity. More electricky than ghosts ever are.

Maybe I was sleepwalking, but suddenly I got very scared of not being in my bed, so I ran back into it as fast as I could. I don't remember falling back asleep.

This morning it seems like a dream, but I don't think so.

Even though people can't find our house, lots of other things can. Ghosts, foxes, random thoughts, sentient moonbeams, the occasional psychic hobo. So it doesn't surprise me these snow-men wandered in.

But I shudder just thinking about them. It's like just by looking at them, they knew I was there. I hope they're only passing thru.