Pine Tree Trouble

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- 12/6/2015 7:38am

While I studied, I enjoyed some hot chocolate and waited for my new friend @timberlina to come by and pick up her artist's receipt. Alas, she told me as she was swinging that she got off track and had to follow a fellow Timberjack. Now I was confused as to what a Timberjack is, so I abandoned my studies and got to researching. I had a portal placed in my room so I can visit the library at any time, and a portal back to my room in an inconspicuous tree behind the library. I stepped into the portal to retrieve a few books and came back and got to figuring.
"The Timberjacks are an elite psychic clan that associate themselves with the forest." Oh, like lumberjack. Timber, lumber, same thing. timberlina, correct me if I'm wrong, here.
Also I was curious about the importance of squirrels in our society. I got a few books on that, too. This part was the research that Thom was interested in. He likes to watch squirrels outside our window, then he grabs a journal that he writes in and starts planning. I am still not sure about those squirrels, but I think it's a religion. Maybe they call it "Squirrelism?"
Speaking of, I saw an albino squirrel out of my window while I was driving home from the mall! Who can say that they've seen an albino anything? I can!
The lack of periods in the last paragraph is unsettling. Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it. See, this journal is just a little cumulation of my thoughts. I like it that way. Simple little things just make me happy. Little doodles, little miniature chairs, I love them!
And here is my boyfriend, barging in with an ax. Ready to get a Christmas tree, darling?

- 12/7/2015 1:45pm

You didn't... cut down a young Pine tree, did you @Pearline? That would explain the ranks of angry Pines I'm seeing lining up in the woods all around the school.

A couple few weeks ago I dropped off a very important message from the Pines at the Admin building, and they promised they'd pass it on to the Dean. It was mighty sticky with sap, but it was clear: No Christmas tree cutting this year. They'd lost a few more yearlings than usual and couldn't afford their usual sacrifice.

But I guess the Dean never made an announcement?

Uh oh. This could get ugly.

- 12/9/2015 10:06am

So this morning, I was admiring my aspen while using telekinesis to put ornaments on it when I heard loud, angry footsteps from outside. I quickly vacuumed up the broken ornaments around the tree while I heard them knock on 4-24 next door, then I opened the door to find a bunch of large men with beards and flannels. They claimed they needed to look at my Christmas tree. An apologetic @timberlina behind them explained that they were the Timberjacks that represented the pines. Someone cut down a small pine? I said. She said yeah. I told her mine was an aspen. She said oh, but there's a rule that you can't cut down live trees on campus. I said we hijacked it from a Christmas tree farm. She yelled at the men sniffing the tree. They said oh, and went to the next room. Well, I'm safe for now, timberlina. And look, the tree is still alive!
Omega and I are staying together this Christmas. We're hosting a party during the break, and we're inviting all of our friends. Anyone who wants to come is welcome. @Alexander, you can bring Ted. I can't promise that Thom won't eat him. Maybe if we put bows or ornaments on him Thom won't eat him. All are welcome, and it would be great if everyone could come.
I'm going to the Renaissance right now. Want a ride?

- 12/11/2015 10:51am

Well we've still got a high-tension stand-off situation with the angry pines. They're not moving any closer, but are standing their ground around the school. I'm keeping the alert level at Ponderosa for now.

Still not sure what set them off. But I'll tell you that @Pearline is an odd bird. A live Aspen Christmas tree? Might as well just use a bundle of sticks. Maybe it would be alright as a Hanukka bush, but a Christmas tree? Maybe she's a Presbyterian.

Anyway, I'll keep an eye on the Pine tree situation. And I'm still on the lookout for my mysterious double.

- 12/11/2015 12:41pm

I actually am using the aspen as an experiment. Yeah, it may be pretty barren now, but I'm thinking if I nurture its soul, it will be more encouraged to grow green and fluffy. You may get the opportunity to see it at my party, @timberlina. Want to come?

- 12/13/2015 8:37pm

The tension in the woods around school is so thick you could cut it with an axe. Which is exactly what the pines are stressing about. They're sure somebody on campus cut down one of their younguns', and they're not leaving till they get their ounce of sap. Outta one of us. That's what @Wonderwall97 felt walking through the woods today. They were moving, alright, straight towards that heartbeat. I'm just glad @Wonderwall97 made it out before things got messy. Doesn't anybody pay attention to my DO NOT CROSS tape I've got up on the trails?

I'm wondering if @Emilia Plissken's tiny reindeer might be a help. Like some kind of tiny ambassadors to meet with the pines -- neutral, third-party like -- and see if we can't get this worked out. The pines have what they call a "sap debt" that needs to be repaid, which could become a regular vendetta if we don't get it cleared up. While I think we'd all rather not sacrifice a fellow student to them, maybe there's something else the pines would take in exchange? Could this be a mission for your tiny reindeer, @Emilia Plissken? To go and parley with the pines?

As for your kindly party invitation, @Pearline, thank you, but I've still got some issues with enclosed spaces. Growing up in Timberland, we always had the tree tops and the stars above. Even being down on the ground gets me a little claustrophobic, much less in those tiny dorm rooms of yours.

I'll be having my own Yule party up in my treehouse come the day. Everybody will be welcome!! I'll have my special life-size gingerbread men out and about, and you can sample my famous peppermint bark.

Emilia Plissken
- 12/15/2015 8:23am

Sorry for the last bit of my last post. Reindeer spelling is worse than a kindergartener.

@timberlina My reindeer? Well, maybe. They have to be put on leashes, and well, I have to see. They could, I think. They are impartial to everything. Seriously. I suppose they would work, and even as I told this, they are negotiating between themselves now. How lovely.

Oh, and thanks to @Pearline for waking me up in class. We were supposed to be doing a seance. I think? I wasn't really sure. I was half-asleep, okay?

- 12/18/2015 12:02am

I think we've had a breakthrough in the pine tree standoff.

Turns out @Emilia Plissken's eight tiny reindeer are excellent deal makers. First I had them all up to my treehouse, to give them proper training in negotiation strategy and wild tree culture. Emilia was kind enough to bring the reindeer on their tiny leashes, but they were well behaved enough. They even showed off a few of their tricks leaping through small hoops and reciting poems they'd memorized. And of course we had cocoa.

So then we sent the reindeer off to confer with the conifers. Pines are particular from firs and spruce, and have their own specific cultural quirks. Pines can be a bit stubborn and dramatic, but the tiny reindeer soon had them eating out of their hands, so to speak. They flit around like hummingbirds, or Snow White's friends, stringing up the trees with tinsel and popcorn garlands, talking it out.

It turns out there is a loophole in pine tree law that allows us to avoid the vendetta and the sap debt they feel we owe them. It's a ancient and complex ritual, one of the earliest pacts between humans and trees. And it can only be held on the winter solstice, which is next Tuesday.

The trees are demanding a dance. It's time to talk to the Dean.

Big Jim
- 12/18/2015 3:00pm

Winter Solstice Dance and Tree Greeting Party!

It's time for the annual Winter Solstice Dance, this Tuesday, December 22nd, at 04:48 UTC.

It will feature all of our regular attractions:

The Court of Darkness will be releasing the Shining One, who they chose from the Court of Light last June.

The Court of Light will choose their hostage from the Court of Darkness, who will remain in the Court of Light till next June.

Come dressed as your faction! And remember, no direct psychic attacks between the two groups are allowed - all disputes are settled on the dance floor!


This year, we'll be joined by a number of representatives of the Pine Tree Nation - somewhere between a large grove and a small forest. They'll be here to dance, so be sure to make them feel welcome! See @timberlina for details.

Music provided by DJ Phantom Corpse and Power Value Stance.


Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

- 12/21/2015 10:51pm

This is really embarrassing, but I can't remember if I was in the Light group or the Dark group at the last solstice party. Is there like a master list or something?

But I am really excited to let loose on the dance floor! My legs have really grown in a lot in the last week, and my tail keeps shrinking down night after night. But I still got enough back there to shake!

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