Host: Reporting from Hillville, it's Pearline, and her sister Alix.
Pearline: That's right! Just last week, my sister found out that she was psychic when she had a strange out-of-body experience. I am with Alix now, getting all of the details before she starts at PsyHigh!
Alix: You are so weird.
P: So Alix, are you excited to figure out what strange, inhuman things your body can do?
A: Uh, I guess?
P: And what is our age difference?
A: It's four and a half months, but you knew that.
P: How did that happen?
A: Mom tells that story all the time, P. While she was pregnant with you, her body did something weird and at the halfway mark, I was officially a fertile egg, or whatever.
P: How excited was she when she found out you were psychic?
A: Finally, something you don't know! She was freaking out, and her hair turned green.
P: Huh. That's a new one.
A: Yeah. Now I want to ask some questions.
P: Shoot.
A: What's the food like? Is it like the stuff at HAP?
P: They don't serve food there... but the food here is good. There are multiple cafeterias, but one of them is in a pocket universe and the portal is hidden. It's rumored that a food critic somehow tripped into the portal, ate the food, and gave it five stars. He's still stuck there!
A: Cool! Ok... on a scale of 1-10, how lost will I get?
P: 11. Well, I'd give you a 13, because you might end up splitting yourself into the Pixie Forest, which is not as safe as it sounds. Unless you steal @Aaron Dee's golden sharpie, which I recommend you do not steal anything.
A: What is Psy Corps? And did you really solve a mystery?
P: Basically, in the Psychic World, you add the prefix "psy" to any normal word and you get a cool, psychic phenomenon! Psy Corps is our police. Dad's in the PC! And, although I did help a little, the evidence of TSAS laid itself out in front of us.
A: Can I keep a pet? Frankie would probably die if Mason [our brother] took care of her.
P: If you want her, claim you have some sort of psychic connection and find the right dorm building. I have a cat, but of course she can actually talk to me. Unless you and Frankie...?
A: I wish!
P: As for finding your way around campus, I'm sure I'll be somewhere on the Orientation Board. Good luck with your roommate, though. Sometimes they can go weeks without talking! Back to you, Bob.
A: Who are you talking to?
P: Let me have my moment here! *continues to smile at invisible camera*

Really fantastic work, @Pearline! Wonderful insights!

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

So, @Alexander, congratulations on getting Student of the Month! There was not a doubt in my heart that you would get it.
Which leads me to a couple questions my sister has asked me:
A: How do you get to be Student of the Month?
Usually, it's the people who get the highest scores on all of their tests and such, and the highest grades in their classes. Which means you gotta write a lot.
A: How could there be ANY WAY in any of the nine natural worlds to navigate this campus!? How!?
Well, there isn't really, but I'll give you a good tour.

We start out at the office manor. They have free tea, so a lot of students like to hang out in the lobby. If you really need to go to any of the offices, go straight upstairs, because the downstairs area is the admissions office and doors to the faculty and staff dorms. NEVER, EVER go into the fac dorms. They will hiss and spit. It's rather scary, actually.

Ok, see that fork in the path, with a gravel path in the middle? That is the exact center of campus. Right there, that little plant with the silver leaves, is @Silverfawn. He gives directions. Yes, he's alive. Yes, he can talk. And walk. It's pretty cool.

There's the cafeteria building. It's got a mini reality generator for whatever themed dance we're having. That's your stereotypical cafeteria food, but actually good. Also, it's fun when you get mystery meat because it's more like a challenge presented by the lunch demon than an example of bad funding. The students try to guess what it is using their powers. If they get it right, they get extra credit for a random class!

If you want co-ed dorms, ask for the Leeman Dorm Building. On the top floor, they have bigger rooms and the kids that live there have weekend parties. Basically a giant fraternity, the Leeman kids. You should probably stay in Krezner, because we have a view of the courtyard and gardens.

Hey, look, there's the libraries! That's the Self-Aware Library, that's the Telekinesis Library, and that's a portal into town so you can go to the Normal librar- why is it called the telekinesis library? It's not, I just call it that because the books go all the way to the ceiling, and there are no ladders. The ceilings are several stories high. *badum-chhh* I am sorry, I had to.

Look, there's a kid coming out of the library, now! He's got a wicked magic staff, and he just saw us staring at him. He's running away! I think he stole it, some kid named @Young Jim Horner told me about his missing staff. Take a picture so we know what he looks like!