File Cabinets of Mystery

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Red Brown
- 4/24/2018 10:00pm

I'm a reincarnative student, and have had a hard time getting my transcripts from 1934. You either have to show both birth certificates, or the prior birth certificate and a current transmigrationalist photo ID, or your most recent birth certificate and the prior parent or guardian bearing the requisite ritual tattoos, but all I've got is the prior birth certificate. Can you help me, @Melon Seawater? I hear you're down in the stacks. I'll make it worth your while I promise!

Melon Seawater
- 4/25/2018 1:08pm

Even though it’s just a part-time work-study job, I take my Vow of Privacy very seriously, @Red Brown, and would never share information I have access to inappropriately with anyone. For instance, identity theft can be that much more damaging when it concerns multiple lifetimes.

That said, I’ll bet there are some other ways you could prove your identity that would be satisfactory, even if it’s not one of the three official methods?

- 4/27/2018 5:30pm

bingo, bros. gav has been spotted.

i went around asking food chains if they could check their security cameras to see if we could find a "dark haired person of interest with dorky glasses". i guess they assumed i was a cop or something.

so i went to the coffee shop nearby this place.... and viola. caught the bastard with some middle-aged guy on 2/26. it was probably that "abe" character who wanted to meet up. they went off over an hour of talking, i assume back to abe's place. the waitress who showed me the cam told me she thought she saw them go to the apartment complex west from there.

so basically, your girl got a lead! and a date with the cute waitress B)

and it just hit me gav's been gone for almost 3 months. i really hope he's okay. probably still thinks i hate him. i never apologized for snubbing him

OH WELL i'll have all the time in the world to feel bad later. we have a gavvers to find.

- ann-marie

Melon Seawater
- 4/28/2018 12:34pm

The administration has access to the security cameras on all the food chains, Ann-Marie. For instance, right now I'm watching a movie of an acorn that falls from a tree, which is then eaten by a chipmunk, which then gets eaten by an owl, which is then eaten by a gigantic bear demon that lives in a cave. There are trunks and trunks full of video cassettes with stuff like that on them. I also ran into a bunch of tapes from their surveillance cameras in fairy land, which are pretty dated but still entertaining. One of my jobs is to go through and convert them all to digital.

- 5/3/2018 6:15am

@Melon Seawater wait, really?? by administration i'm assuming you mean the psychics chumps who work for this school. like a principal or something... (does this school even have principals...?)

but i guess why would school staff have access to security cameras. who exactly is this "administration" youre talking about. good job being just vague enough to be creep me out, mel

would those guys be the type to tamper with those security cameras, 'cause the one i looked at is basically my only lead to find my missing friend. that'd seriously mess me up. seemed legit, and.......

oh wait i only just realized you were talking about ANIMAL FOOD CHAINS. yeah, no, not quite what i was talking about. psychics, i swear... you guys are really something!

have fun converting them to digital i guess! thanks for.. talking to me about animals? not sure if you read the craziness of gavcrowleys' profile/journal/whatever but we do have sort of a bird theme going on that "ellipsis" made up. i'm mourning dove. gav's a crow. or he used to be, or something, i didn't really listen to him lmao i'm just a normal human who hopes i wont get lynched for being on this weird website. i'm rambling a lot about stuff not even relating to "file cabinets of mystery" so i'm gonna go. thanks anyways though <3!

- ann-marie

Hysteric Smith
- 5/3/2018 8:57am

The best way to enter the File Cabinets of Mystery is by walking backwards while listening to enchanted zydeco. That’s how we do it in the swamps back home. Old blind François squeezes out the shuffling tune on his accordion, and we walk in reverse spirals underneath the moonlight. L'épine Dorsale du Temps (The Backbone of Time) is one of my favorites, and it’s the one I hummed as I entered the archives under the school.

My interest is in old recipes. It is my belief that our connection to the “pouvoir psychique” has become diluted through time, and that by recreating the old recipes, like the Acadian Smoothie or the Duke of Orleans Croquette, we can get closer to it. I am also interested in @Estreya Harlow’s cooking techniques. I’m writing a cookbook.

Melon Seawater
- 5/8/2018 9:00am

Along with metal file cabinets, there are stacks and stacks of files in cardboard boxes, piles of manila folders, and sagging shelves spilling over with binders and trays full of papers. I’ve discovered tunnels in the stacks, and they’re deep enough to get lost in.

I followed one tunnel way into the back and it opened up into a kind of cave or clearing. It had been lived in—maybe a kind of break room for work-study staff before me? There was a folding table and some broken office chairs and a thermos and a teapot and some pencils. I brushed away the pencil shavings and carved into the desk it said “PROPERTY OF THE COMPOST KIDS.”

Has anybody got an older brother or sister who might have heard of the Compost Kids? It looks like it’s been here undiscovered for quite awhile. Was it some kind of secret club with a forward-looking ecological agenda? I mean, we’ve barely started recycling here in the admin building.

Juliana Eggplant
- 5/12/2018 5:25pm

I was looking at my best friend's older brother's Psyhigh yearbook and there's a picture of a group of students around a picnic table near the edge of the woods. The picture is black & white, and a little out of focus, and a couple of the kids were moving when it was taken because their faces or arms are blurry. Below is a caption that reads "The Compost Kids, M.R., D.R., D.R.E., M.F.D., K.R.S., W.T.C., P.E., L.D." I took a picture of it and will post it here for you, @Melon Seawater.

Janitor Pete
- 5/16/2018 9:09am

Of course I remember the Compost Kids—I was interviewed for weeks during the investigation, but I didnt know anything more about their disappearance than anyone else. At the time, students were free to use the equipment in the psychic lawn maintenance sheds, and in those days there was a much more freewheeling attitude towards experimentation. If you wanted to graft yourself with slug or centipede DNA, well, there weren’t any rules specifically against it. That all came later. But the Compost Kids were the first ones to really get into it, and took it the furthest. I just hope they got to where they were headed.

Melon Seawater
- 5/17/2018 9:00am

Stashed in the Compost Kids’ secret room in the archives I found checkout records from the Tool Library. Things still weren’t computerized back then, so it’s all paper cards names and due dates. There’s a lot of activity for one particular tool—the Jiffy Whacker Hack ‘n Splice—which was a primitive version of CRISPR/Cas9 associated gene editing technology.

The Jiffy Whacker Hack ‘n Splice checkout cards are neatly paper-clipped in a manila folder with checkout cards from the Gene Library, and includes cards for Earthworm, Mole, Scrub Jay, Monarch Butterfly, and Grub.

There’s also an envelope of photographs...

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