I had been planning a big Valentine's Day for Parker and I. We would start out with a walk in the hedge maze, then brunch in town at the French breakfast chain restaurant. I would laugh at all Parker's jokes and Parker would hold eye contact for much longer than normal in between sentences. I would play it cool and maybe even act a little disinterested. Parker would struggle more and more to get my attention, which I would act surprised and flattered by. I even made sure I would have things to talk about that he would find interesting like math stuff about splines and the new rock climbing gym they are building in town.

Then we would go to the park and sit on the swings and hopefully he would have gotten me a flower or a stuffed bear and that would be nice. I would say we were gonna go see that new scary movie (romance is for saps). I would pretend to be scared even though I like scary movies and we would sit ever closer and maybe I would have to push the armrest up for the cuddling.

The day would keep going and eventually it'd be time to go and I'd made sure we put off a kiss for so long that it was like little electric sparks when our lips touched. He'd want to sneak into the dorm and I'd say no at first and then maybe let him and we would watch the British version of the Office (Parker likes it but I do not get the jokes) and we would make out.

That was the plan.

What really happened was I got food poisoning from a chicken shawarma the night before and I was throwing up everywhere in the morning and then I felt better but the French place was closed and the park was full of couples already and I tried to talk about stuff but I kept saying dumb things that didn't sound smart at all. And then when I said they were building the rock climbing place Parker already knew and said he had gone to the same kind in Salsbury (huh?) and I could tell I wasn't impressing him. So I powered on through and told him to take me to the movie.

The movie was the worst movie I've seen in five years. Parker kept laughing so hard at it that I couldn't snuggle close to him or his spasms would crush me. Not literally, but you know. And I pretended to act scared which he thought was even funnier and there was no cuddling. That armrest stayed down for 100 terrible minutes. And at one point he looked at me and said he was having fun - how could he be having fun I didn't do anything! He was just being nice. Auuughhhh I was so frustrated!

And then the evening was over because Parker had to wake up early cause his parents were coming into town and the sun was still up! So were there at my dorm and I wanted to cry and run inside and I know he hates me and he's too smart and I don't understand him! He's got to be dating me because he feels sorry for me!

And then he gave me a big kiss and there were electric sparks and he looked at me and smiled and said he had fun and he left. Why does he like me? I don't get it!

I don't understand you Parker Cragg!
 
 
2010-2-4

I finally captured Hector as he was trying to extort Bon Bons from a freshman in front of the manor house. Chip Cooper tried to stop me and Ms. Boner from putting him in detention (something about how he couldn't be in detention because he WAS detention in spirit) but she put up a fight and now he is in trouble for real! That'll teach you to pretend there are rules and use them to take things from the innocent!!!

Of course I didn't get to celebrate because Parker is still embroiled in this scandal with that one kid. I know he says he didn't cheat but I just don't believe him. I mean, is he really that smart? He can not be that smart. No. No, there's something else afoot and I will discover it!
 
 
2010-1-27

This is BEDLAM.

I put Fred the Shapeshifter away for two weeks of detention after what he did to that poor Freshman is Trismestgus Hall, and yesterday I see him at 3:30 running around kicking a soccer ball? Who let him out?

Someone here is breaking the rules. People who break the rules have to pay. No one is above the law!

(Yes I know my name is also Law and I know there have been some jokes made around that and I do not find it funny.)
 
 
2010-1-24

Parker said he got a letter of inquiry from MIT. I said it was okay but it is really not because we had said we would both go to Cayce University together. That's not even a psychic school! What do they want him for anyway?

Uh oh, my pager just went off. Something is going on in Trismestigus Hall.
 
 
2010-1-15

Yesterday after I posted my paper up here I got word that my boyfriend was in the infirmary with a broken leg. I did not know he was missing for three days because I said I would give him space because he likes his space and complains that I crowd him. That's crazy!

Then of course he wanders off into the woods, listens to a clearly malevolent Sprite (a clear violation of Psycurity rule 1880) and walks into a mountain hideout built by who-knows, where he is asked strange questions and his leg is broken by some kind of creature. His description of the creature was vague and useless - a 'shadowy blob'? Augh! How am I supposed to investigate that?

And of course I just went to bring him some carrot cake and what do I find but he's trying to get out of bed! Parker, will you calm down for ten seconds! You're supposed to rest for another day! The doctor said!

Augh!
 
 
2010-1-14

Here's the paper I wrote last semester after I saved the school from The Darkening. Some of my friends are pretending it didn't happen so I am posting the paper so we will never forget how I saved everyone.

"The day I saved Psychic High School"
by Shirley Law

Many students at Psychic High School often wonder, 'When will I have a chance to save the day?' The first chance I had, I joined the student safety branch of Psycurity and passed my safety exam. I thought I would never get to save everyone from a great evil, and boy was I wrong! Then the unthinkable happened, and using a combination of smarts, powers, and following the rules, I was able to defeat an ancient evil and save lives!

It all started on a Wednesday, when the annual book fair was happening in the library. I was on my patrol and wearing my orange sash in case any of the books started causing problems. Things were going well and I was about to be relieved by Rolf, who is a pretty good Psycurity patrol person but he isn't strict enough. Then all of a sudden there was a flash of light and a smoky, ominous cloud was gathering near the ceiling!

Rolf and I jumped into action and started telling people to move to the exits. I formed a psychic safety barrier around the cloud just as tendrils began to snake down into the library. One tendril made it past the barrier wall and snatched up a mousy looking Freshman. Rolf ran to her to pull her down but the tendril was so strong he started to be pulled up with her! Meanwhile I had found the source of the trouble.

The cloud was coming from a book on one of the tables. It was open and glowing and a deep voice was emenating from the leather-bound tome. I leapt and grabbed not the book but a nearby step stool (Psycurity rule 2033: never touch an artifact yourself when it is glowing or talking) and used the stool to shut the book. Right away the dark cloud began to shrink and the tendrils dropped the girl and Rolf. We were safe at last.

In conclusion the book was confiscated and I had to file a report with Psycurity. Rolf got a heroics badge for trying to rescue the Freshman, and he also got a kiss on the cheek from her! I got a safety badge for following rule 2033. I was glad I got to help the school and save everyone. The strange thing was they never found the owner of the table to book was on! And all the other books were just blank! It sure is strange going to school at the Psychic High School.