OMG I just got accepted to Forever Corps! They offer “a life-changing experience in a future timeline where I will develop my psychic leadership skills.” It’s especially important these days because of the Reality Accident and all, so it’s not like just some vacation with zip lines and folkloric techno dancing. Plus, I’ll make friends with like-minded teens who share my passions for travel and volunteering! It starts next week, and I hear there are still spots open so you should totally apply.

Hey I signed up too! We get school credit for it right? I got all my shots today and I’m feeling really woozy especially the language shots I don’t even know what’s coming out of my mouth right now can you understand me ĉu vi povas kompreni min? And what do we pack? Are you bringing toilet paper? This is going to be AWESOME!

Forever Corps Plaza is sooooo swank. They put all the Psyhigh kids in one wing for our orientation, where we each get our own suite and a balcony overlooking the Time Hole. You can totally get lost staring down that hole—it’s like a spiral seashell on the inside, with everything that ever happened or will happen or is likely to happen spun around the edges like a billion dioramas, or frames of a film. It goes both backwards and forwards depending on how you look at it.

Totally embarrassing moment #1 (which I’m sure will be part of an ongoing series): @Hectic Wilson was standing on his balcony staring down at it and he puked! Right down the Time Hole. I was there and will admit it was educational watching the splotch of vomit navigate all the different temporal gravites as it tumbled.

The future sure is confusing. I'm still getting the hang of those language shots, but mi sentas pli bonan tagon tage. Ne tiel maldika.

For our first assignment, they sent our group to a farm and we're feeding pigs! Except the pigs are in giant tanks of water and wearing VR helmets. "Boy that's some bacon!" I said but maybe the translation drugs aren't working right yet because they sure looked at me funny.

Anyway, it turns out you don't really have to feed them, because of the tubes, but we checked the readouts on the tanks. Everything was a-ok! Apparently the pigs are super smart and they use them to run the factories that make everything so nobody has to work.

"But if the pigs are so smart, how come they can't just check their own tanks?"

And they all looked at me funny again.

See how confusing the future is?

Psssssssst! Hey kids! So... you're on the Forever Corps summer session, and you're having a great time seeing the timestream.... But those trip leaders they give you? Total squaresville, man! Know what I mean? Ol' Miss Beaton's going to show you the most sanitized, squeaky clean futures and pasts she can. You want to see the REAL deal, I'll show you around. We'll have fun too! Ol' Miss Beaton'll never know. Whaddaya say, kids? Come with me and I'll show you the REAL timestream. It'll be a blast. You only step in the same river once, right kids? Take my hand and i'll show you what was and will be. Oh except I don't have hands.

So it’s only been a week, and this is like our seventh straight feminist eco-utopia in a row. The communal farming, the singing and handholding, the puppet show guerrilla street theatre. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—they reversed global warming, ended terrorism and capitalism, saved the world, etc. It’s just all a bit... boring. Ms. Beaton laughs and says lots of people from our time sector have Conflict Addiction, and that taking what we learn back to our time will help bring these futures to fruition.

Meanwhile, it’s another slow night here at Matriarchal Farms. I’m headed over to @Hectic Wilson’s bungalow for a game of Spades. He says there’s somebody he’d like me to meet.

Shhhh don't tell but I'm totally playing hooky from Forever Corps. Me and @7mary7, that is, because she wouldn't let me go alone. @Electric Mummy Head promises we'll be back in the communal dorms at Matriarchal Farms a split second after we left though so I'm not worried.

So now we're living it up on the Momo Holiday, which is like a secret cruise ship for the all the coolest time travelers. "You'll see the horrors of a faraway place, meet the architects of law face to face," is what @Electric Mummy Head said, and he wasn't lying! All the dead wood from jungles and cities on fire, everybody smoking cigars, and drinking sooooper old wine and stuff. Not that I'm touching any of that, because we'll get kicked off the trip if we get caught and I'm not 100% sure about @7mary7.

There sure is some freaky stuff on this ship though. Giant fat naked guys on carts getting pulled around by teams of young boys harnessed up with electrodes and hoses, robot assassins, hybrid dog-women... a floating electric mummy head fits right in! I see why he likes it, and I'm so glad we ran into him so he could show us around.

The Technoscientific Posthuman future certainly has an appeal, and I’m glad that @Electric Mummy Head brought us here, because I’m sure it wasn’t on Ms. Beaton’s itinerary. Too much technology. But it’s so awesome! Basically, you get to live forever and be in two places at once! Or as many places as you can handle. Everybody’s uploaded and so you just think about a place and you’re there.

Mostly people seem to hang out in virtual environments, but you can zap yourself to a femtosatellite off Mars or Saturn if you want. Though I don’t know what the difference would be from just looking at a live feed, since it’s all just simulated sensory input.

I did get to commandeer a rover on Earth and drive it around. Too bad what happened there, but I guess they couldn’t get this posthuman so fast without a ton of quick and dirty technoscience.

Oh no. This is horrific.

I knew we shouldn’t have trusted that @Electric Mummy Head. Turns out he’s sold us to some illegal trans-temporal organ smugglers! Does anybody know the number for the Time Police?

@Hectic Wilson is already on the table, and they’ve implanted a handful of hybrid Mantis Shrimp/Human eyes into his forearm. It is, to say the least, super creepy and very bad. They’ve got me in a hermetic holding cell, and will probably release the gas at any minut....

A reminder that all Forever Corps Junior Scouts are required to be present for all Timestream Jumps, and that being AWOL for any jump is grounds for dismissal from the program.

We are on a very strict schedule and failure to make any of our carefully-timed connections could result in the entire group becoming lost in the Timestream.

For this reason, @7mary7 and @Hectic Wilson have been officially removed from the program.

That said, please enjoy our stay on Global Heat Island, and remember to stay hydrated!