I have a weird mom too, @miley cyrus
. Mine runs around ahead of me getting all the lights and scenery in place and doing the blocking and arranging stuff with the union. But then I walk in another direction entirely and go all off script and it really frazzles her.
I was a Psychic Beauty Pageant kid and my mom was a total Psychic Beauty Pageant mom and it has totally affected our relationship. Her dad (my grandpa) invented television and I think that has something to do with it.
It's super great to find understanding peers here at Psyhigh - like @Nicola Mac
. A lot of the anxiety we as Clockwork Kids have comes from worrying about "blending in," afraid that our "ticks" will show, since we've all lived part of our lives as clockwork. Always checking ourselves, making sure our gait is appropriately loose, that our head movements aren't too precise, the audible clicking that some of us make...
When you're in the Clockwork World, all those clockwork behaviors are what get you by - they are SURVIVAL. Getting on and off a bus is a synchronized mechanical dance to be mastered, and if you get slightly out of line then whack! you get an umbrella poke in the eye or a briefcase in your belly. It's just how the machine works.
But when you're outside of it - here, for instance, at Psychic High School - you see how ingrained those survival mechanisms are, and it takes a lot of psycho-cognitive OT to help your body and mind unlearn them.
So, again, it's really so nice to be here around people who understand us.
So I found the Children of Clockwork Parents support group, and it's really great to find more kids in my situation. Sharing stories, comparing our experiences. A lot of kids are out there still undiagnosed, so creating more Clockwork Parents awareness is really important.
I can still remember "the moment" at dinner one night when I realized.
"How was school today, dear?"
"Fine. We shaved the hamsters and sent them to the governor. They're wanted for manslaughter."
"That's nice, dear. You know I hear the Henderson boy is making it to All-State this year..."
I stared at them while they droned on. I actually took off my shoes and climbed up on the dinner table. They didn't flinch.
After that, I realized how... defined... their world was. As long as I generally made the right inflections in whatever I said, or walked along certain paths, everything worked just fine. But from that moment on, I could move around outside their world too - and do whatever I wanted.
It's too late for our parents, but we've all "made the break." And it's great to find others like me.
I came to this school because my parents turned Clockwork. How many of you have had this same experience?
Were they always Clockwork, and I was just an accident? Or did something happen to them?
It took me years to notice, but after awhile it was clear they were just part of the bigger machine. And it was going to happen to me, unless I ran away and joined Psychic High School.
Is there a support group for Clockwork Kids here?