I'm the one who took a bite out of @Boltzmann! We've been starving since the Women's Advertising Club of Psyhigh's Mystic Order of the Rose stopped coming by with our Blood Meal. So we've been laying out tendrils, seeing who we can snare as they visit the gardens on campus.

We set up a lemonade stand, right off the garden trail. It's just a card table and some cups and a pitcher of lemonade. We don't need chairs because we're rosebushes! We twine around in human shape, serving up the lemonade, accidentally scratching a customer here and there, mmmmmmmmm, those sweet sweet drips.

The shovel people took a big bite out of my crew, but we are resilient! They couldn’t track down all our roots, and now we’re hiding under rocks and sidewalks, our tendrils reaching out across the campus, and even to the internet! The Women's Advertising Club of Psyhigh's Mystic Order of the Rose set us up with a website, and now we’re selling seeds across the world. But it’s tough, because there are a lot of counterfeit carnivorous rose seeds out there, filled with fake reviews, all promising free next day shipping. Let me just tell you that if they seem like too good a deal to be real, 100% fair trade organic carnivorous rose seeds, then they probably aren’t! There are plenty of GMO carnivorous rose clones out there (overproduction from the Department of Defense Gardening Project), and I heard somebody tried to buy some seeds on the Dark Landscaping Web and all they got were peppercorns! So. ONLY buy authentic, fair trade organic carnivorous roses from the Women's Advertising Club of Psyhigh's Mystic Order of the Rose website, and use the code THORNYSENTME on checkout to save 15%!