Hey! I'm gravitationally bound, but settling in here real nice at psyhigh. Holding it together!!

Hey so I was in the the nurse's office a couple of weeks ago having my tests. I have to keep my mass up in order to remain gravitationally bound, so once a week they put me on the double-pan and write it down and there's a special drink they give me. And I spend a lot of time at the gym.

So anyway there was a student in there with their head all bandaged up and the clipboard on the bed said @Paradi. C. Benzene -- who is that same student whose face is now on the MISSING posters all over campus.

Well, I just found out that if you click on the ALTERNATE DIMENSION button here on the site you can read their journal. It's the swirly one with the stars. You should check it out! Maybe they can take down the MISSING posters now.

Looks like we're both stuck on campus on Christmas, @Sweetie2!

Actually I'm just hoping I can remain gravitationally bound enough to hold it together. I mean, usually it just "works" but what's to keep me from just drifting out in all directions, forever?

Gravity, that's what.

Anyway sometimes I drift around campus.

I visited the AAC swap meet, thinking I might “trade in” my gravitationally bound qualities for something more concrete.

But I ended up absorbing the stuff on half the tables into my orbit and things were flying around and then I began to manifest all of their qualities as a kind of superior omni-being.

Until the campus security came, anyway.

I’m not allowed to go to the swap meet anymore.

The school nurse has me on centering exercises. She says that by finding my center and dwelling there, it can create the kind of gravity I need to hold everything together. And that this is how it works for everybody normally. I just forgot how to do it.

It would be awesome to have it just work automatically. Is that really how you do it? Without even thinking about it you're just "there" and all your particles come together with apparent solidity? What do you think about when you're doing it? Do you have a mantra? What is your trigger? A safeword?

"Can't you just put me in some kind of ray machine and cure me, doc? Stick me in a faraday cage and reverse my polarity or something?"

"We have found the ray machine to be ineffective."

The meds kind of help. Most of the time I can't tell they're doing anything, except for the fact I'm not all drifted apart, I guess.

Thanks to everybody who came to visit me in the gravity chamber today. Stella, Andromeda, Hailey, Aries -- you guys are GREAT and thanks so much for enduring it. I know you could barely move while you were in there but it really means a lot to me. Hailey almost lifted her arm! It was awesome.

Meanwhile, the rest of me is so distributed I'm starting to include the whole school, right up to the edge of the woods. Most of my particles are so small at that distance that you won't even notice me, swirling in my gentle clockwise spin. But sometimes I'll form a coherent cloud for just a moment, and I can feel the breeze and a whiff of the forest. I passed through a couple of kids holding hands on a date and their love was just so cute! I've ordered them commemorative charm bracelets that should arrive in a couple days.

The nurse says she feels my dispersal is still reversible, but... I don't know. I'm getting less and less scared about it. It's like there's someone watching me from a great distance, and the more they see me the bigger and bigger I want to be. Hey! You out there! Yes it's me! Can you see me? I'm spinning for you!!!!

The school nurse turned off the gravity chamber today. It ceased having any effect. There's nothing left but the Strong Force holding my fundamental particles together, and even those are starting to get pulled apart and float away.

But I'm not sad!!! It's liberating, really, because I realized I'm not just "dissipating." My gravitationally bound parts aren't "dissolving" -- I'm getting PULLED by something. Something so big and so far away that none of the nurse's sensors can detect it. I'm going SOMEWHERE.

As my consciousness begins to spiral away, I'm taking a last look around school. Right here in the nurse's office there's still the body of @Paradi. C. Benzene, whose consciousness has been pulled apart in other ways the nurse just can't figure out (and is still technically "missing" though the body is right there). Further out, there's the library, and the gym, and the Spoon Bender student canteen, where I wish I'd been able to spend more time. But I made such great friends here I'll still always look back at Psyhigh fondly.

But now... hard to keep putting sentences together in ways that make sense. It's like trying to remember a dream as soon as you wake up, but the pieces keep falling through your fingers... don't make sense... light paths bending... word falling, photo falling... last words any world...