Is anyone else having trouble figuring out the list of courses? I couldn't find Algebra 2 anywhere. Just a bunch of classes on "arithnomancy" and "mathematical runes". Is this, like, a big inside joke, or...? Speaking of, if anyone can tell me what "Psionic Protection 101" is or why it's a required class for new kids, let me know. The description just says it teaches me to "protect myself from psionic attacks". Some kind of martial arts class maybe?

Anyway, thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Jake, I just transferred here from Johnson Public High School, and am looking forward to making some new friends. As soon as they let me out of my dorm, anyway. Apparently there's some kind of mutant bat-lizard, and he's trying to eat people's souls, so they aren't letting people outside until someone banishes him back to the nether realms using the sword of a thousand hopes.

You guys sure do have some weird slang.

Oh, yeah, you don't want to go down that ladder. I tried, but some people in long, flowing robes stopped me. Apparently, that room's where they protect the school from "ancient danger". Like security guards or something. Wouldn't let me through. I told them I was there for class, and they just laughed at me. I apparently lack the "psychic potential," whatever that means.

If anyone can figure out where I'm supposed to go for πøth hour (or what time that actually is), let me know. Until then, I'll be using the time to catch up on homework in the theater lobby.

Wow. You guys sure do have some history. I was a scout too once, but we mostly just learned how to tie knots.

Also, by bell tower, did you mean the big one towards the center of the campus, or the one with the eight locks and the (very realistic) fake blood on the door?

Actually, you know, now that I think about it, there's only one bell tower. Don't know why I thought there were more. There has only ever been one bell tower.

Man, I didn't get enough sleep last night. Feeling all funny. Anyway, see you there!