It is so hot and do you know what I like to do when it is hot? That is right it is popsicles.

I like popsicles so much I thought about magnifying popsicle power. How do you think I could do this I will tell you. I collected all the popsicle sticks I could find on the ground and in the sticky garbage cans and of course my own collection. Then I put them together in a pile to make an ice-cold popsicle fire.

But do you know what I made a mistake and there were ice cream bar sticks in there too! So my popsicle fire was not all crystal and green and orange but had melty ice cream and chocolate bits and it cut down on the power output of the ice-coldness and it did not last long.

There is something I noticed about popsicle sticks though. You know that there are jokes on popsicle sticks like "Why did he apple kiss the banana?" but many of these sticks had jokes like "Why was the Tree of Knowledge upside down?" and “What is the difference between ‘secrets’ and ‘secrets of secrets’?” and I did not know the answers and they were not printed on the back of the sticks!

I think maybe it is time to talk to Larry Moon, Skunk Detective again.

Do you know the staircase in the administration building? It is a big staircase, a very big one. It has more than a thousand steps, all made of ivory. It is very beautiful. Nobody dare use it for fear of spoiling it. The Dean himself has never used it. When he leaves his room, he jumps out of the window. Consequently, he often says: I am so fond of this staircase that I'm going to have it stuffed. Don't you think he is right?

Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, says he is all better now put I do not think that skunk is up to par again yet. It is hard to tell about skunk eyes because of all the fur but they are not so swollen anymore I do not think. He is back to making delicious fried egg sandwiches with cheese again but his ribs are still a little sore I know because of the grunting when he gets up out of his detective chair.

But he says that his part of the staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri is fixed, and though he did not put a tail or a grounding wire on Alastor Dimitri he says that the staticky problem should be better now. He says the problem was that Alastor needed "the juice" and that he did not have enough is what the problem was. Do you want to know what he said to me here it is:

---------------------------------

To: Fawn
Psychic High School
Juniper Hall Room B-27

From: Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Client Report
Case #972972
The Staticky Problem of Alastor Dimitri

The problem with the generator kid - @Alastor Dimitri - was big. And it went right to the top. Trouble is, when you're just a lowly woodland gumshoe like me - it's tough to see just how high that top goes.

For me, as high as I could get was Beggar's Leap, and the President of the Deer. The Deer have their antlers in all the forest rackets - garbage, gambling, you name it. Between their height and their hooves, they're in a position to put the squeeze on most anything that goes down in this neck of the woods.

That apparently includes crypto-archeology. There's plenty of it around, if you know how to see it, and everything around here has been built up over and around it. One piece of the puzzle was the big antenna the Moles discovered underneath the school. But the big dish was cold - the power had been cut. Somebody made a deal with the Deer to keep it that way.

Now I can't say I know the who or the why, but I've never turned down a chance to through a wrench in the Deer's program.

Through my mole in the Moles, I made a deal they couldn't turn down. Finding them a motherlode of worms and grubs was easy. A few baskets of white grub truffles in a nest of worms and the Mole Queen was more than happy to do her magic. The workers set the cable, found a power node, and the Queen herself performed the ritual to flip the switch. The power started to flow, and the antenna started to broadcast its energy - straight up through the school, and right up the wazoo of @Alastor Dimitri.

Lit him up like a Christmas Tree.

The trouble had been that the kid was sputtering. Not enough juice to establish a stable resonance, so he found himself discharging and shooting off at the drop of a hat. Now he's been fully charged, and the cascade effect should keep him that way, sustainably, stable-like, for who knows how long. Maybe forever? How long does a being composed entirely of pure electrical energy live, anyway?

The why of it all is still beyond me, and I'm in the mood to keep it that way. Who built that antenna, so long ago, and why? Is it just coincidence the kid happened to end up parked above it? Who was paying off the Deer? And is the kid's fate even part of it?

Anyway, the staticky issue should be solved. I expect the Deer aren't too happy, losing their contract and all on keeping the power off, and I expect they'll find ways to let me know it. But like I've said, we were never friends in the first place.

Case #972972 - Case Closed
Larry Moon, Skunk Detective


---------------------------------

Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, says his work is done, and that I do not need to bring him his eggs and cheeses any more. But I do like that skunk so I think I am going to keep visiting him now and again sometimes. He is a rough customer, but he is a good skunk.

The staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri does seem solved, because now there is no more static in the halls and hairs do not stand on end and the walls are not sticky anymore for Megan and Rai's secret hamster no matter how much they rub him on the carpet. But that Alastor Dimitri is not up and at 'em yet. He is different now, because of his new all-electricalness, but he does not move. He only glows and lays on his bed. That tricky boy @kubert says it is not his fault and the contraption did not hurt the brain of Alastor, but that now that Alastor is all-electrical all-the-time maybe he is in a cocoon growing inside his electric chrysalis until his electric liver and electric lungs get all grown out right.

It is funny because I wanted to find Alastor a tail but instead we turned him into a butterfly! I hope he wakes up soon so he can enjoy his new all-electrical body and not being crazy with his statickiness anymore.

Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, ran into some rough business. I was knocking hard at his door three times and was about to leave and do you know what he appeared but he looked very beat up! I did not know what to do for such a beat up Skunk Detective but he sent me to the market for a beefsteak to put on his eyes. I did not know to put a beefsteak on beat up eyes but I have not had much experience with rough business before.

I am worried about Larry Moon. I did not want to endanger him or any of the woodland creatures but I know there are some tough customers out there because I have seen the nature videos. It is nature's way is what Larry Moon says. But he is intent on solving the staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri and I do think maybe he is solving it yes I do!

---------------------------------

To: Fawn
Psychic High School
Juniper Hall Room B-27

From: Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Client Report
Case #972972
The Staticky Problem of Alastor Dimitri

The Deer didn't like what I was looking into. Not one bit.

Jack Page, the President of the Deer, doesn't do his own dirty work. He's got his cabinet for that. They let me know in no uncertain terms that Beggar's Leap was no place for a nosy Skunk Detective. Or any animal of the wood, poking around the Ley Lines of their operation.

Between the kicks of the hooves and the pokes of the antlers, I got off a few choice lines.

"You've got a mighty big dish down there to run!" (oooof!)

"Yeah well it won't be running anytime soon, Mr. Mephitidae!"

(a hoof to my ribs)

"How do you power that big antenna?" (urrrrgh!)

"Power? We'll keep it cold till long after you're gone, stinky!"

(a few points of antler ram into my chest)

"What? Aren't you feeding it juice?" (ummph!)

"We're keeping it off the big grid, you little Squunck!"

(a pair of hooves to my skull)

It was about then I tumbled over Beggar's Leap.

And right down into my cousin's cabbage patch.

It's a fair drop, but a lithe skunk like me doesn't have much mass. A lot of fur, sure, but wet, I'm not much bigger than a ferret.

Through my cousin, and the skunk underground, I was able to make it back to my burrow. Beaten, but not deterred.

And now I knew the secret.

That big antenna, the one the Moles discovered underneath the school. It wasn't zapping the kid - the staticky one with the electrical problem - @Alastor Dimitri. It was there *for* him, just waiting to give him the juice he really needed. How it got there - who put it there - we'll never know. But the Deer had a deal to keep it off line. Somebody put in the fix to keep that antenna dead, and hired the Deer to keep it that way.

I've got no problem with the Deer, as a species. But when particular Deer make it their business to try and bump me off, then I've got an issue. And if they want to keep that antenna off the grid, then my main goal is to get it on. Full power.

I've got a proposition for the Moles. I think we'll be wiring that antenna up real soon.

Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, sent me another one of his updates about curing the staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri. Larry Moon has been very hard to get a hold of lately, and I do not know if he needs more eggs or American cheeses or even bread! If he is in his office then he won't come to the door, and sometimes I can not even find his office even with the turning around three times trick.

I hope Larry Moon did not get into any trouble on this case. But I will bet you that Larry Moon has been in some tough scrapes before.

---------------------------------

To: Fawn
Psychic High School
Juniper Hall Room B-27

From: Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Client Report
Case #972972
The Staticky Problem of Alastor Dimitri

The Moles had found something big. They knew it was big but were keeping it as quiet as a week-old dead possum in the road. And that was just fine by me.

My mole in the Moles kept me informed, and they were right about what they thought they had. An antenna. Huge, and more worrisome, ancient. Buried right beneath Juniper Hall on the Psyhigh grounds. The school'd been built right on top of it - along with everything else that happened for the past 300,000 years. That's what the Moles dated it at.

And now it seems to be waking up. That boy - the generator kid. Was he the target for it all along? A 300,000 year set up for the longest con in history? Or was he just some poor sap with a weakness for high frequency output?

And what was the power behind it? What kind of juice does a 300,000 year-old antenna use? And where does it come from?

I'd been deep down in Undertown, the Warrens, rubbing noses with my earthy cousins. It was time to get a different perspective, so this time I headed up. Into the high hills.

There's hill folk there, some of them even relatives of mine. The kinds of Skunks and Raccoons you've seen pictures of with holes in their coats and a big moonshine stills in the back of the frame. Ramshackle shacks, corncob pipes. Gun racks. Idyllic, really. Back before highways and the silicon chip factories. Gone Fishin'.

There's also traps out there that will break your leg, or whip a thin cord around your neck that tightens as you fight it. Till you're blue in the face. Or worse.

The night was dark, as deep and silky as my black fur. I took the paths I knew to be safe and made my way to the top of the highest hill. Beggar's Leap. From there you can see the lights of the whole city, and beyond. You can see the bend in the river, the grounds of the school, the woods. You can see the land beyond, and over the curve of the earth, the glow of the land beyond that.

I looked down and picked out Juniper Hall, and pictured what lay beneath. From there I noticed the gates of the school, which lined up directly with the Clock Tower in town. From the Clock Tower, it was clear that the City Library and the transit center formed a perfect cross, and at the top, in the distance, the great, dark towers of the Novelty Gift Factory. Together, all the points seemed to lay out in a perfect pattern, like Christmas lights on a kite. I could see it all, like a blueprint, right in front of me.

"Click click."

I heard that click, and hoped it wasn't what I thought it was.

Slowly, I turned. Turning my back on the city, on Beggar's Leap.

Yup. Hooves clacking on stone. I was staring directly into the 12-point rack of Jack Page, President of the Deer.

And he had brought along his entire cabinet.

It was another very foggy day and I had not heard from Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, for many days and I was concerned about Larry Moon, not just because I have an agreement with Larry Moon about his regular updates but because I like Larry Moon very much and I wanted to make sure everything was OK, even though he is a rough customer and probably does not need any looking out for.

And so I gathered some farm fresh eggs at the market and more American cheeses and put them in my basket and walked through the foggy woods and turned around three times and followed the tiny side path by the creek and up and over the rocky hill and found the offices of Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, and knocked hard three times on the door.

Larry Moon opened his door. He looked very much like a rough customer, as his fur was very frazzy and his eyes were very puffy and he was not in the mood for making fried egg sandwiches with cheese for both of us. He was drinking a tomato juice drink and smelled like rabbit tobacco. He told me not to worry, that he was making progress on the staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri but it was a very delicate time and I should go home and thank you very much for the eggs.

I have faith in Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, but I hope I have not put him in any danger. That staticky @Alastor Dimitri is not so much a problem now because he is in a contraption. The contraption takes away his statickiness but puts his mind into another world where people can see his world on the pay-per-view website. But the pay-per-view-people have become restless because they are paying but there has not been much viewing. They are asking the pay-per-view-webmaster @kubert for their money back!

I do not think that @kubert has Alastor Dimitri's best interests in mind, but at least the staticky problem of the dorms is gone and there are no more lightning bolts in the halls and in the communal kitchenette.

I do hope everything will turn out OK because I only want peace.

I got an update from Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, about his looking into the staticky problem of that @Alastor Dimitri. I do not think he has discovered anything yet about Alastor Dimiri's electrical problem but he is working hard and I will bring him more fixings for his fried egg sandwiches tomorrow. Here is what he sent me.

---------------------------------

To: Fawn
Psychic High School
Juniper Hall Room B-27

From: Larry Moon
Skunk Detective

Client Report
Case #972972
The Staticky Problem of Alastor Dimitri


There was an icy wind blowing that night. One of those cutting, cold winds that make your tail curl and your fur itch. On nights like that every animal in the woods is deep in their den, tucked away hard and dreaming of spring. Trying to rouse an animal in that state is like trying to raise the dead. And if you do succeed in rousing one, you just might find their fangs in your neck.

The cards hadn't told me much. The kid shuffled funny, and the cards I drew told me just one story: wind, stars, snow. I played wise, like it all meant something. But the truth was it just didn't add up.

The kid had presented me with an electrical issue. One of her schoolmates was lousy with sparks, shooting off in all directions, zapping innocents like her in the process. But he was an innocent too. It wasn't his fault he was full of the juice. The juice was using him. But why him? What game was it playing?

We animals don't take native to electricity. No need for it. But the closer the city gets, the more we run into it. Wires above, wires below. It's becoming almost like branches and roots.

I needed to get to the root of the matter, so I started down below and hit the Warrens. It's a familiar place (no pun intended), with its own society and rules. The underground. The tunnels of the burrowing types all interconnect - the Skunks, the Badgers, the Groundhogs, the Raccoons and Rabbits and even the Rats. All the tunnels ever made by all our grandparents and theirs before theirs, honeycombing the hills and beneath the town. There's architecture down there from before any animals have stories for.

I wanted to have a word with the Moles.

In the Warrens it's never too cold or too hot, so the temper of its inhabitants is more predictable. I nodded amicably to a Rabbit here, a Ground Squirrel there, asked a Weasel I know for a tip. Before long I'd found what I was after. The Mole tribe from under the school.

From the moment I showed up, I could tell they had something to hide. Furtive-like. The Moles can't see so well, so they're a bit oblivious to body language. As soon as I started asking, I could tell their cool front was a sham.

Blind as they are, their other senses are stronger. Especially smell.

"Well, I'm sorry, but this case is really getting to me. Feeling a little tense, know what I mean? I'm afraid if I don't make any headway..."

"Don't Larry. Oh please don't."

"It's my nerves. When I get this way, sometimes I have to just... let a little out..."

"For the love of Pete, Larry..."

"Uh oh, I think I feel it coming!"

"Ok! Alright! Don't worry! Hold it in! I'll show you what we found."

Naturally, no self respecting Skunk would do such a thing. But it's a rough world. And I was on the clock.

The Mole took me deeper into his tribe's tunnels. It was a tight squeeze, but suddenly opened up into a large hollow, excavated by the Moles. They'd run into something, and in their frustration were digging it out. And "it" was big.

"Some kind of saucer?"

"Who can say? Not till we dig it all out. Definitely metallic. Circular. Parabolic and slightly concave."

"You figure an antenna?"

"That's my guess."

I thanked the Mole, and promised to clue him in next time I found a big nest of earthworms.

To my reckoning, that antenna is pointing straight up at Juniper Hall.

I have hired Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, to help me with the staticky problem of @Alastor Dimitri. Larry Moon said that he would "look into" the problem and that I would need to pay him a "retainer." I did not know there were orthodontosists in the woods but Larry Moon explained to me that what he meant was eggs. Larry Moon likes fried egg sandwiches very much, and as long as I can keep him in fried egg sandwiches he will look into the problem of that staticky Alastor Dimitri. He also needs American cheese.

First I started by going to the store to buy a dozen eggs and American cheese. Larry Moon already has bread. There is a market by the school so I could walk there and buy the farm fresh eggs and the not farm fresh sliced and individually wrapped American cheeses and put them in my basket and take them back to Larry Moon's Skunk Detective Office in the woods. And who did I look just like do you think but Little Red Riding Hood! Except I was not wearing red. It was mostly the basket.

But now I can find Larry Moon's office in the woods just fine, and when I got there he was not a gruff and rough customer at all but very nice and he made fried egg sandwiches with American cheese for both of us. Larry Moon is a fried egg sandwich expert and he can flip the egg in the pan with one hand! I did not know you could do that. But Larry Moon says he has lots of experience. And his sandwiches were very good and now fried egg sandwich with cheese is my favorite sandwich.

I do not know what Larry Moon will do about Alastor Dimitri's staticky problem and Larry Moon said he would not know either until he "looked into it." He said that every problem was a different problem and if you tried to solve it without looking into it you would have very bad luck indeed.

So Larry Moon got out a little pendulum and a deck of funny cards and I shuffled the cards for Larry Moon and he made a pretty pattern on the table with them and then he held the pendulum over the cards and was very quiet for a long time, and I could hear him breathing and looking into it and maybe I was a little dizzy. And then he said he had to go and he would "keep me posted."

Now I will wait to hear from him. And in a few days I will bring him more eggs and American cheeses.

So I went to visit Larry Moon, the Skunk Detective, even though it was a very foggy day! I took the path into the woods that the raccoons had told me about and though I thought I was following their directions very carefully it turns out I did not and before long I was very lost!

Not that I really get lost in the woods. I can always find my way. Even in the dark! But today it was not dark just very foggy and I what I got lost of was finding the office of that Skunk Detective. I walked up and down that trail and turned around three times and followed the tiny side path by the creek and up and over the rocky hill just like the raccoons said but I could find no skunk detective office! I sat down on a log. I was getting very dejected.

So then there was a skunk. But he did not look like a skunk detective. He was small and he seemed shy but he asked me "Why are you dejected little girl?" and I told him I could not find my way to the offices of Larry Moon, Skunk Detective, and did he know Larry Moon and could he help me find his offices?

Actually I was very happy to see that skunk!

The little skunk asked me why I wanted to see a skunk like Larry Moon, and said that detective work could be rough business and that Larry Moon smelled like rabbit tobacco and culvert water and maybe his office was not the place for a young lady like me. So I told the little skunk about that @Alastor Dimitri and his sparky staticiness and how he zapped me on accident and about Megan and Rai's secret hamster stuck to the wall and about the raccoons and their Zydeco and that is why I was here and I could not turn back now.

And do you know what? That little skunk excused himself and walked around a rock and then he came around the other side and he was Larry Moon, the Skunk Detective all along! He was the biggest skunk I had ever seen. And all around me, the forest changed and the place where I was was Larry Moon's office, and the walls were tall and painted green and the ceiling was high and had an old skylight and the floor was checkered black and white and the log I was sitting on was a big comfy chair and that rock he walked around well that was Larry Moon's detective desk!

So now I was really happy to see that skunk.

So I want to put a ground wire on that @Alastor Dimitri but I do not know about electricity. So I thought "what is a ground wire like?" and do you know what it is like it is like a tail!

And so the first thing I did was talk to the squirrels since they know about tails. But the squirrels were skittish and I think they are superstitious about talking about their tails. They told me to go to the Elderly Raccoon Lodge and ask and that they would tell me about tails. And how to put one on Alastor that will stop his sparkiness!

So I went to the Elderly Raccoon Lodge. It is in an old building that does not have any windows and the door at the front is black but there is a place to swipe a card. I did not have a card because I am not a member so I pressed the button and a little squeaky voice came on the speaker and I let them know what I wanted to talk about and they thought about it and let me in.

It was very dark inside the Elderly Raccoon Lodge but very busy. There was an old wooden bar and I thought that would be a good place to talk to raccoons but they said I was too young and could not go in there. There was a dining room that was also very dark but had table cloths and water glasses and it was Fish Fry night so it was very busy and they let me sit at a table with the biggest raccoons I have ever seen!

I told them about my troubles. But first they ordered me a Shirley Temple. I had never had a Shirley Temple do you know what it is? Now it is my favorite drink. The raccoons said they did not know about electricity either or what kind of tail would help. They talked a lot with each other about the best garbage bins and what it was like back in the old days in the woods and then ate more fish and offered me some but I said no thank you maybe just some fries.

Then there was dancing. I did not know raccoons liked dancing so much! Or that they could play Zydeco music. Now I like dancing to Zydeco music too.

After the dancing the oldest and biggest raccoon told me there was maybe someone who could help me. It is the skunk detective. Larry Moon. He said that the skunk detective is who they asked when they had problems that needed figuring out.

So I got directions to the office of the skunk detective which is in the old woods and I will go there.