As Psyhigh's Demonic Counselor, it's my job to make sure all our students from "down under" are as comfortable and well-adjusted as possible. But even in my flame-proof suit, I've been breaking a sweat trying to keep up with our growing population of diabolic transfer students! @Glitter, @Chalice, @Lilx, @lunar toth... there's royalty, multi-cultural/dimensional families, an unhealthy interest in drinking human blood, and of course continually replacing the carpet and the walls due to scorch marks. It's all in a day's work for me, Dr. Pentalpha, Demonic Counselor!

When I got my degree in Demonic Social Work, I never pictured myself using it to clean up possessed french fries and cheeseburgers at McDonald's. I'm a 33rd degree Grand Master of the Scarlet Ribbons of the Dawn for cryin' out loud. But now I've got a steady job with good benefits at a school with a good endowment and I'll likely never get fired as long as I can keep these demon kids out of trouble till they graduate and then I'm free. At least till the next batch comes through. I guess it's all in a day's work for me, Dr. Pentalpha, Demonic Counselor!

People think working at a psychic high school is easy. "Oh, you get summers off!" and "You only work till 3pm every day! Must be nice!" Obviously, these people have never worked at a psychic high school, or been a psychic school counselor specializing in demon children. The sacrifices I have to make, daily, in squalid rooms filled with sulfury smoke... sometimes two or three times a day if we don't have a chicken on hand in the morning. The demands are grueling. Plus there are sigils to be drawn and protective barriers that need to be maintained, which take a high level of concentration. And salt, which dries out my hands terribly.

But we're not running a prison here, either. The demonic students must be allowed off campus to get a taste of life on the surface. Just in the past week we needed to erase the memories of a dozen Wal-Mart employees due to a visit by @Chalice and @Glitter, several more at McDonald's following @Lilx's potion incident, and we had to convince Old Mr. Green it was a baby bear he saw in his yard, and not @lunar toth's giant thousand-eyed spider.

But it's all in a day's work for me, Dr. Pentalpha, Demonic Counselor!

What happened to @Lilx was horrible, and it's every psychic guidance counselor's nightmare to have to inform parents and guardians about such brutal depravity.

The park has been closed off and is being investigated as a crime scene. Psychic investigators and detectives from the Pixie Bureau of Investigation are studying the matter, and will keep us updated on the progress made by their investigations.

Dr. Blaze has had @Lilx under observation, and says that her condition is stable. Any students with tips regarding the attack are asked to contact the Pixie Bureau of Investigation directly.

We hope @Lilx gets well soon.

You need Doctor Oooooooooooooxctl, @oiuq. That's the Exo-species medical doctor here at Psyhigh. For people born on other planets. Unless you're from a demon moon from a demon Saturn, in which case it's Dr. Blaze you should see. Just like @lunar toth, who was having (ahem) demon problems. Dr. Blaze is also overseeing the case of poor @Lilx, who remains drifting in and out of consciousness. But it sounds like you should talk to Doctor Oooooooooooooxctl.

I went to demonic counseling school for 8 years to get by PhD., but of course now everyone thinks I'm a medical doctor, and when I tell them I'm a psychic school counselor it always seems like they're disappointed. "Oh, not a REAL doctor" I can hear them thinking. "Oh, it's the kind of person who needs to have the word "doctor" in front of their name just to make the feel important!" WELL LISTEN HERE BUDDY! I got through demonic counseling school by working nights at the Scarlet Ribbons of the Dawn Dinner Theater in the Tri-cities, performing various seasonal rituals on stage and taking dessert orders from the audience during intermission, and I can tell you it was very hard work, both day and night, and I fully earned the right to have that Dr. in front of my name.

It's all in a life's work for me, Dr. Pentalpha, Demonic Counselor!

I’m really not cut out for this level of crisis. I’m not a medical doctor, I can’t prescribe drugs, I can’t astral project to save people trapped in a magical limbo land, and I’m not a police detective. I’m trained to handle issues like “my roommate is too needy, and ghosts come out of her nose when she snores” and to give advice about applying to appropriate psychic community colleges and universities. Dealing with the struggle for the immortal souls of demon youth was not what I signed up for when I got my degree in Demonic Guidance Counseling. It's NOT all in a day's work for me, Dr. Pentalpha, Demonic Counselor. I need some time off.