The attack of the crows was horrific.
Ok, maybe "horrific" is too strong. There weren't any plucked out eyeballs or bloodshed of any kind (except some scraped knees) but have you ever been attacked by a murder of crows? All those beaks. All those claws. All those feathers.
I gave up all the food I was holding (including the Australian licorice in my pocket) just like it says in the safety brochures, but then it became clear the crows were after more than our food, and were plucking us up by our shirtsleeves and hair and carrying us off! (The brochures say you shouldn't wiggle once you're up in the air like that.)
So now there's a whole bunch of us in this crazy nest up in the hills. At least I assume it's up in the hills, but the stars look different. Anyway, it's definitely a big twiggy nest. Why are we here? Crows don't eat people, do they? I mean, live people? And aren't "nests" supposed to be @
Anything Owl's jurisdiction? What's going on? I've got classes starting like, next week. And even though there's tons of popcorn and half eaten hamburgers here, I really want to get back to my own bed,
Hey -- is that a kit kat? Will you split that with me?
So it seems like all the kids on campus are helping the spectres set up the carnival.
How do you do that? How do you get that job? Do you introduce yourself? Just walk up and say "Hey how can I help?" That seems awkward. Maybe just grab something and start carrying it around till one of them waves their ghostly appendage at you? Or screeches out their banshee wail? I guess I'd be scared just to walk up and talk to one of them.
So I sat on the hill overlooking the fairgrounds and watched. I saw the little kids from Wandering Pines come out of the woods, stumbling around like drunk little saplings. Their teachers came out behind them but, being full grown, were much slower.
Then one of those Zephyr blimps arrived with a giant disco ball and lowered it onto a tower the carnies had constructed out of broken wooden pallets and 13 foot ladders and scrap antennae struts from Arecibo.
It was beautiful in the setting sun.
So will we buy tickets for each ride? Or are there be wristbands?
I just want to say that I hope the Psychic Fair and Rodeo goes old school, and not these modern fairs with all their lasers and jumbotrons and cyberhelmets with spinal syringes but it's all some virtual fantasy where you're just drooling in some dirty alley thinking you're having a great time but really you're not. Because I've been there and it sucks.
Instead I want real animatronic tarot readers, and cursed claw machines, and throw-the-hoop-over-a-stretched-and-melted-mountain-dew-bottle games where you can win a haunted doll. And carnies who sell bufotenin lolipops.
Can we have that @
Ms. Hazeltine?