I know you. I know I do. But where. And how. Why? I just feel like i've met you. Whoch is strange because I haven't left my roon in months and you're new...

THE FADING ALLURE OF THE GARBAGE MAN

The Garbage Man turned out to be more trouble than I anticipated.

He was easy enough to calm down and talk to when he awoke from his soggy garbage slumber in the tub, and I pictured the beginning of a life-long friendship, with two different beings reaching across the divide to find a new understanding, with comical hijinks and misunderstanding ensuing, but in the end we'd learn to see across our differences build a new glorious future for all.

"Me no do dishes. Only YOU do dishes."

He makes a terrible housemate. And what's worse, he digs around in the Psyhigh dumpsters at night, looking for new material to add to his body, and makes a mess throwing out all the trash he can't use. Meanwhile, he grows bigger every day.

"You just no like Garbage Man. You want Garbage Man to go away. Maybe to Eastern Pacific Great Garbage Patch? You like that? Bring me more twinkies!"

He really acts like the world revolves around him. But how can I ask him to leave? At the rate he's growing, he might not fit in my little flat for much longer anyway.