It is my pleasure to welcome this year’s Student Body to campus! And all the other students as well. 

With the recent spike in positive testing levels for Psychic Protuberance, there’s been quite an uptick in enrollment! As a result, the grounds maintenance crew has installed a number of mobile classrooms throughout campus. Students are not allowed to drive the mobile classrooms without teacher supervision. 

But this time of year is really about the Student Body. It will remain in the Gikudan Rotunda for viewing through the month, where daily and nightly offerings will be made towards its well being. It will also need students to play with it so it doesn't become bored during the duration of ritual. Students please use the signup form on the bulletin board outside my office to sign up for this special duty. 

Here’s to making this year’s Student Body the most well-adjusted ever!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

OH GOD THERE GETTING CLOSER PLEASE SAVE ME THERE CORNERING M and that's why I applied to this wonderful school. Thank you!

I suppose it's my duty to inform everyone that the smell of rotting fish and gasoline in the crypts is completely normal and will be present for some time. Myself and most of my fellow Necromancy Club members have performed a sacrifice to welcome the Student Body and the smell is an unfortunate side effect.

It's an honor to be welcomed into the singularity, @Corban Bennett! I'm sure you're a worthy component. I opted out of the program due to my position as Necromancy Club leader requiring a significant sense of self, but you'll be just fine.

An update: The crypts are no longer open to non-Necromancy Club or school faculty members due to a... rather gruesome incident related to the earlier ritual. I'll spare you the details, but I'll just have you know that I'm currently sat in the infirmary pulling shards of bone and chitin out of my clothing... and flesh.

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Okay, look. There was an entire crab claw impaled in the back of my thigh! Can you BELIEVE that?! This is ridiculous! There's a REASON you don't bring crustaceans within twelve metres of the abstract horizon sphere! THEY EXPLODE!!! YOU EXPLODE!!! EVERYTHING EXPLODES!!!

... I AM BLEEDING PROFUSELY FROM MULTIPLE POINTS ON MY BODY!!!

Well it was certainly thrilling to watch the Student Body pass through Gate Nine, wasn't it? Through the Nemesis Wardrobe, down the Retrocognitive Slide and finally into the loving arms of the @Level 8 Bouncy House. Its Traumhunger readings remained in check the entire time, so you kids in the Student Body Brigade are doing a great job. And it looks like you're right, @Abigail C -- it seems to love crab!

New Student Awareness Alert: Don't forget the Daily Disorientation Tour at 2pm (@Eon Jordan, @Celine and @dollbaby you might be especially interested in that), and Alternate Family Therapy is held every second Tuesday, @Leah Fey, in the Burned Down Wood.

Also, please join us for a very special Reading Rainbow event with @Chloe Spyglass in the Kaleidoscope Atrium at 11am this Friday!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

@Ms. Hazeltine, sorry for the late reply, but thank you for pointing me toward the Alternate Family Therapy. While I still don’t have a clear plan on what to do about my “twin”, just talking to other people with similar experiences felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

well i dont know about this

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The Student Body had its last meal tonight, at the Psyhigh Active Students Alliance's Spaghetti Night Fund Raiser! Wasn't it amazing to see it pound down those breadsticks? It's going to need all those carbs for its long night in hibernation.

But there are plenty of other perilous trials in the days to come, including the Hall of Whirling Knives, the Butter Pit, Hot Potato Hot Potato, Spam Sandwich, and all the non-food themed perils.

The front-line performers who keep the Student Body occupied in between rituals are continuing to drop like flies after interfacing with the centuries-old entity that is the Student Body, so we'll be sending callbacks to a number of you on the b-list soon.

Looking forward to seeing you in the sanctum!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

The Student Body is getting kind of... listless. Is it always this way? With its head cocked over to the side, drooling?

We played Tarot Hop Scotch for awhile and it seemed to be having a good time, kind of grunting and shivering as it picked up each card. I mean, like we all do. Then we had some cider and consecrated graham crackers and it went all limp. When the gray snakes started to come out of its nose and ears I used the spray just like you said, and now it's just lying there and snoring.

Am I doing this right?