The Magic Squares

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- 3/19/2020 3:24pm

Complex Numbers are OK to include in a high school, psychic or not!

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JK Kepler
- 7/3/2019 8:22pm

The Magic Squares would like to thank the administration for removing our Math Restrictors, so now we can get down to the dirty work of removing the exotic snippets of imaginary numbers from campus infrastructure!

@Humble Todd has already taken care of the sidewalk from the cafeteria to the gym, so that journey should no longer be infinitely long (please let us know if you discover otherwise).

Other members are working on reducing the height of the absurdly tall grass, returning the water supply to a "wet" consistency, and bringing a moRE STABLE VOLUME to the soundwaves both indoors and outDOORS!

There's no doubt in our minds that the Quantum Jerks were behind this prank, and we have asked @Big Jim to contact his counterpart at Mad Scientist High to COMPLAIN.

Hmmm... there's an i3 = -√-1 in my salad....

Evie Galois
- 6/28/2019 7:50pm

I swear it wasn’t the Magic Squares that caused the math problem. I mean, ok, I confess to taking some shortcuts with my... calculations. Ok they weren’t really calculations they were me just typing things into my phone like my birthday and my mom’s address and then pressing like the sinh and tan and ∛ other buttons I don't understand and squinting a little and shouting it out.

But you know who really is responsible I am sure it’s those Quantum Jerks—the math club from Mad Scientist High. They hate us, and when they couldn’t figure out how we were doing it I am sure they sabotaged us because I saw them all hanging out at the Imaginary Ice Cream Cart on Deneb IX. (And you know how they give their ice cream that special texture? √(-1) degrees that’s how!)

I've pleaded our case to @Big Jim and that they should really take these math restrictors off because they're killing me and you just might need the Magic Squares to help fix this!!!

Big Jim
- 6/26/2019 8:16pm


Our local mathematics biome has been infected by a virulent set of imaginary numbers. These dangerous clippings were introduced by a rogue math club's disregard for commonly accepted cross-dimensional hygiene protocols.

As a result, only APPROVED, non-imaginary mathematics will be allowed on campus until further notice.

Also, all members of the Magic Squares must report immediately to the math gym for full decontamination.


Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Badiou Badiou
- 6/23/2019 10:25pm

2={⏀,{⏀}} -- Generally elongated necks, likely connected to evolutionary forces related to the delicious sandwiches atop tall, swaying fronds.

(p. 167) -- Everyone has my face except me, unless you are someone else in which case the opposite.

P(α1,α2,…,αn) = 0. -- All club members are either instantiated or non-instantiated ideal abstract forms or structures. Also, very sweaty. Suggest deodorant and change of undergarments if visited again.

JK Kepler
- 6/17/2019 4:44pm

The church, er, I mean CLUB, has created a new award for extra/dimensional hacking to our most irrational member, @Evie Galois! It will henceforth be known as the E/Dh award, and will be passed on to the member who can drive us to the most likely unique destination possible, using Psychomathematic principles.

We just know this will elevate the bar in terms of the kind of math and packing problems we’ll be having!

Please input your variables here, along with a short description of coordinates and locale.

Humble Todd
- 6/11/2019 9:14pm

Wow @Evie Galois must be a genius at psychomathematics. @JK Kepler gave her the planchette on Pontilux 5 and told her she could drive, and at first she went real pale like she didn’t know what she was doing. But when everybody just kept staring at her, she pulled out the calculator on her phone and started calling out coordinates and WOOSH here we are in some super cool glitch universe where everybody’s body is like three transforms to the left of their heads, and cats walk on their hind legs and wear top hats and talk. It’s awesome.

I do feel a little queasy though...

Evie Galois
- 6/8/2019 3:45pm

One way the Magic Squares make their "leaps" is through exploiting the existence of irrational numbers. @JK Kepler calls them "the biggest weakness in the prison" and the "holes in plain sight."

Take a square, right? Say it's one unit long on a side. Cut it corner to corner and make a triangle, and how long is that side?

a² + b² = c²

So, in this case c² = 2. which means the diagonal is 1.41421356237... except it goes on forever! It just kind of rambles for eternity, and never settles down to a single permanent whole value.

AND BUT THERE IT IS IN THE SQUARE! Obviously a real distance we can see... but the number system isn't equipped to describe it.

Same deal with circles, except it's 3.14159265359...foreverandever...

But we're only allowed to believe in numbers. Science, amirite?

So the Magic Squares make their math spells to find and measure the space between those numbers that never end and where reality begins, and then they shoot through it.

Like today, we're drinking fresh Bomblefruit juice on the orange beaches of Pontilux 5--one of the planets from @Len's assignment. So that was a nice bonus for everybody.

- 6/6/2019 6:39pm

It feels kind of bad to just show up at the Magic Squares and ask for help. I'd offer my own smarts into their pool of knowledgeable tutors, but there isn't a class that I particularly excel in. I'm painfully average.

The locations the members frequent on their trips seem exotic and fun, though travel has never been my friend. Trust me, once you turn a two hour trip into a fourteen hour journey, road trips lose their appeal.

I'll visit again tonight. I've got a paper due in astronomy tomorrow and there doesn't seem to be a website dedicated to some of the planets we're discussing; possibly because they're out of our known solar system.


JK Kepler
- 6/4/2019 10:07pm

We're headed to φ tonight.

Magic Squares -- you know the code, so you do the math.

Gates open at 1.618033988749894848204586834365638117720309179...

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