Kids can be so mean!!! I'd only complain to you, dear diary, because I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurts, but I really never expected this kind of outright hatred. It's true that my shell has grown quite large (5 and a half whorls!) and I can't fit into most classrooms, so why can't they just walk around me? I've been kicked, called names, and even spat on. And I move pretty slowly these days, so it's hard to come up with a witty comeback, or even a threatening posture.

Most students are really understanding though. And it's not like any of us could do this alone. The mean kids just all assume that incorporating the genome of an endangered land snail is some kind of vain dress-up game, like I just want attention and to say "look at me!" But for every one of us who have undergone "the change" there are 4 or 5 other humanoid students who are our official kin, because we need to work together on all fronts--making official filings with the Psychic Fish & Wildlife Service, helping with habitat reconstruction, managing media relations, etc.

But there's a group of students who just don't get it, and feel threatened by what we're doing. I mean, yeah, I guess we do want to radically dismantle the earth-killing social machine we've grow up in, but I just wish they wouldn't take it so personally.

May 7, 1987

Dear Editor,

As a psychic youth, I know what it’s like to be different. I fightened away many a nanny with my telekinetic hijinks as a toddler, and one-too-many bad experiences at high school dances brought me here, to Psychic High School, a place where we can be ourselves, and be safe.

But I didn’t enroll at this school to live in a pest-ridden wildlife preserve! Quality of life on campus is taking a nosedive. The grounds are infested with bees, possums, and rats, while the dorms and classrooms have become havens for toads, frogs, salamanders, and centipedes! Not to mention the unsightly dandelions and weeds they’ve allowed to take over the gardens.

My parents pay good money to send me to an institution of higher psychic learning that lives up to the pictures in its brochures. Allowing these Compost Kids free rein to bring about their disgusting and filthy idea of an “ecotopia” is degrading the level of education for everyone.

Furthermore, the lack of any kind of personal hygiene exhibited by the Compost Kids makes it impossible to even be in the same classroom.

R.S.

Letter to the editor, Psytimes, May 21, 1987

The subject, Justin Heathcliff, continues to show signs of deterioration. While the Jiffy Whacker Hack ‘n Splice insertion of the Nicrophorus americanus biologic cuttings shows no signs of being rejected, the subject shows signs of a worsening depression. The presentation of the orange facial markings and orange tips on the large antennae are droopy, and the subject does not respond to even Level I comedy diagnostics.

The subject has spent large amounts of time burrowed in the soil beneath the woods. However, pipes, gas lines, underground cables, and other invasive infrastructure placed by the Urban Reality Group border the woods in all directions, not to mention chemical invasion. The subject states: "There's just no place to get lost anymore."

Immigration to Refugia is approved.

The disappearance of the Compost Kids was first reported in the September 27, 1988, edition of Psytimes:

PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL--After nearly a month, the standoff between Psychic Security Force agents and the radical campus fringe group calling themselves "The Compost Kids" ended peacefully today, with PSF agents taking full control of the disputed wooded area.

Following an unprecedented barrage of Unhappiness Beams, Discomfort Kittens, Guilt Rays and CHS (Cold Hard Stares), PSF agents stormed the encampment, only to find that the protestors had apparently already left the area.

"You can see the effect of the Unhappiness Beams right here," said Special Psychic Agent-in-Charge Lou Jaffrery, pointing out the drooping foliage surrounding the area. "Plants don't like it any better than people," he chuckled, "and that was more unhappiness than we've ever let loose on a single target over such a long time. We had to have extra unhappiness tanked in from a number of schools special, you know."

The Compost Kids themselves, however, were nowhere to be found. Their compound was completely abandoned, with no sign of garbage or personal items left behind, save for a banner bearing the words "MAKE KIN NOT BABIES" strung between two trees.

It is suspected that the protestors exited the camp through a large tunnel found dug into the earth in the center of the encampment, which did not appear on the PSF maps of the area prior to the siege. When asked if the PSF planned to pursue the protestors down the tunnel, Special Psychic Agent-in-Charge Lou Jaffery replied "No, on account of the spiders." The Agent-in-Charge did not elaborate.