Reality Abroad 2022

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Rosalie Francis
- 8/10/2022 10:43pm

The whole view of The Temple of Wrath or Justice on Merhj was suggestive of a frightful Inferno, with its rows of demon gods, hideous beyond conception, engaged in torturing writhing and bleeding specimens of humanity. Demon masks of ancient lacquer hung from the pillars, naked swords gleamed in motionless hands, and a somewhat less menacing person in a red fur suit who directed us to the snackbar and arcade in the back. Popcorn, corndogs, dogcorn and popdogs. Skee ball, pinball, ninepin and cornpin.

We ran out of local currency and retired to our hotel, where we were plagued by strange dreams.

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Emerald Starfire
- 8/5/2022 10:48pm

We learned that no hotels will take you if you have a bug. People at the desk see you coming with that big cornstalk shrimp over your shoulder, peering around with its antenna eyes, they start shouting at you right away and pointing at the door behind you.

So Bets hides George in her backpack. Which means Nims and I have to stuff all the rest of Bets’ stuff in our backpacks. And though he squirms we've been successful more often than not.

Until now.

There was a big bang on the door to our room and it was Endicott Internal Security. They said we were in a lot of trouble for even having George in our possession, but they'd let us go if we left George behind and delivered a package to Nastrala, the Ninth Moon. There was a 9am shuttle from the regional spaceport tomorrow.

They are letting us keep George for one more night.

Grant Warren
- 8/3/2022 11:03pm

I’ve been initiated into the Hall of the New Apes. That’s what the Canadians are calling themselves. They have a cave underneath the radioactive garbage mounds where they meet. It's like a secret union or a fraternal organization, but they accept anybody from the press gang crews, even if you're not technically a New Ape.

Down in the cave it's safe to take off our hazmat suits, and there you can see that the New Apes are completely covered with fur. And they're all about 7 or 8 feet tall. No tusks though, just big teeth, to go with their big hands and feet. And they've got a pretty musky smell. I guess things are pretty different in Canada.

They say that they are a parallel species to homosapiens that was almost driven to extinction, but now that the homosapiens have almost destroyed the planet, they are emerging from their caves and planning to take control.

They also say we're ALL New Apes -- anyone who is oppressed by the homosapiens -- and that's why they accept anybody into the Hall of the New Apes. It's a really inclusive message, and they apologized for hitting me and taking my food rations earlier. That's just part of their tradecraft in terms of keeping their organization secret.

Apparently this cave is just one of thousands across the Inland Empire and the other brutal fiefdoms, and they're all connected through tunnels and an ingenious underground rail transportation system. Their capital is under Mount Shasta, where they're sending me for further training to do my part for the revolution.

- 7/30/2022 6:27pm

Okay, so the confirmations are just in. According to the Mandrake-Rukhavishnikova Equations there's a 99.88% probability that I'm now in the year 2425. And there's a 99.86% probability that I've landed in the Patagonian Republic.


But, on the other hand, I'm confined to my tempo-hab. Inside the whole time. Not allowed outside. For an unspecified emergency period. ABSALUTEY NO XCEPTIONS. THIS MEANS U! all the signs and announcements say. Something about an atmospheric inversion anomaly affecting the general area.

So I'm heading back to my own time and place as soon as I can make the necessary arrangements. I still have my chronopass and my 4D visa-free authorization. There's nothing to stop me. No point in sticking around in 2425. Nothing to see here.

- 7/29/2022 4:34pm

Hi. I am in a place where I don't know where I am.

The coordinator said it would definitely be somewhere familiar and I guess it is, if by "familiar" you mean good old Earth. But it does not comport with any image of Earth I've ever viewed either televoyantly or not.

All I can say for sure is that this is sometime in the future. Either the year 2524 or 2425. There seems to be some disagreement about this.

Will check in again when more information becomes available.

Emerald Starfire
- 7/28/2022 9:58pm

Bets brought home a bug from our tour of the Temple of the Crawling Vines.

We've been on Endicott (the fifth moon) for about a week and all the other trekkers we met here said we had to see the Temple, but be sure to get a local guide. After their experience on Mythika, Nims & Bets said no way to that so we went it alone, and while we found ourselves in a few tough patches we made it through mostly unscathed.

And so we're relaxing in an admittedly somewhat sketchy pension and Bets takes off her gear and there's this giant bug on her back, something like a cross between a shrimp and a cornstalk. He seems to be good natured enough. Bets has named him George.

Rosalie Francis
- 7/25/2022 10:21pm

Before the entrance to the Psychic Academy of Arts in Merhj is an altar to Love, with an inscription that Dean Hammer was the first dean to dedicate an altar to that god. The altar within the Academy is called the altar of the Love Avenger, complete with cape and mask and spandex tights, which they say was dedicated by extraterrestrial aliens, squirming with love.

Grant Warren
- 7/21/2022 9:58pm

Working the radioactive garbage mounds is hard work. But they incentivize it in really fun ways, like for every wheelbarrow you bring in you get a nickel (a New Inland Empire nickel, which is usually a bottlecap, or a rusty screw). And if you get enough nickels you can trade them in for a slightly less used filter for your mask. But you only actually get the nickel if there's something interesting in your wheelbarrow, otherwise they kick it over and laugh at you.

My co-workers have their own incentivization systems, like you're incentivized to share your food ration with the bigger co-workers, because if you don't they take it anyway and it hurts. Those co-workers are extra big, and seems like they are covered with fur even under hazmat suits, and may have small tusks. They have strange accents. I think they might be Canadian.

Emerald Starfire
- 7/16/2022 9:43am

Nims & Bets found boyfriends. Ok not exactly “boys” but locals who hang around the tourist traps on Mythika, the seventh moon. They're pretty handsy — in that each of them has six hands — but seem pretty harmless. Probably going to get a kickback from the skinless horse rental stable they helped us find.

Skinless horses are the only way to cross the Howling Plain, because they keep the ghosts away.

Grant Warren
- 7/9/2022 6:57pm

Uh oh! Big mixup at the work crew round up. I got separated from my homestay parents and got rounded up.

“Hey! Don’t you know who I am? I’m an exchange student from Psychic High School! You don’t want to mess with—OOOOOF”

And got a kick in the stomach!

So I stuffed myself into a leaky old hazmat suit and joined the press gang.

Don’t we have little transmitters or something injected in us before we go in these trips? Wasn’t that one of the shots? You can come get me, right?

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