HAPPY APPLE FESTIVAL

It's time once again for the Happy Apple Festival, held each year at the Tri-Cities Fairgrounds in Happy Apple Valley. Shuttle busses will be departing on the hour all weekend from 9am to 9pm from the parking lot near the gym. Apples, apple bobbing, haunted apple carving, worm wrangling, face painting, psychic dunk-a-bum, the largest ferris wheel in the world, apple mazes, fortune tellers, palm readers, wandering sadhus, tame tigers, an appearance by the Tappan Zee Minotaur, and much, much more!

All students are encouraged to take part in this annual folkloric ritual. A good time is guaranteed!

Avoid the lines and get your tickets now from @K.K. Foxhart in the commons.

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

I was doing my homework on the bus and happened to have the Hide Me Find Me on my knee when the little needle started going crazy, waving like nuts to get my attention. I looked up and we were at a stop in front of the Triple Moon Motel—one of those cheap dives out on Interstate Avenue at the edge of town. I packed up and got off the bus to check it out.

The needle was spinning so hard it couldn’t pinpoint anything, so I’m kind of wandering aimlessly in the parking lot when I hear this gruff snuffle behind me.

“Hey, kid. Do me a favor? There’s twenty bucks in it for ya.”

The voice—and a peculiar musky odor—were coming from an old white van with tinted windows. I couldn’t see in, and of course my intuition was saying not to make deals with strange men in vans in front of cheap motels.

“Uh, wut?”

“I gotta check in, but I... I got a condition, ya know? I can’t get to the desk. Here’s my credit card. Go check me in—tell ‘em I’m your dad or something. Bring me the key and I’ll give you twenty bucks.”

If the Hide Me Find Me hadn’t brought me there I would have run.

“Thanks, kid,” he said, and took the keys from me with a dark and hairy hand. I still couldn’t see his face, but his hot breath smelled like hay. He handed me back a twenty.

“See ya around,” he said, and rolled up the window.

Sales at my table in the commons will be CASH ONLY for the weekend, due to technical problems with my online payment processor. Not that sales have been that great--it's hard to get Psyhigh students excited about yet another impending apocalypse.

I have, however, through the sale of dry goods and trinkets at my table, made enough money to keep me in Hot Pockets and Dr. Pepper, and have plugged my RV into an outlet behind the gym, so I have light to read by and power for the microwave. @Janitor Pete has been kind enough to turn a blind eye to this, and to my use of the showers and restrooms in the sports center.

I have also taken advantage of Psyhigh's extensive data-gathering resources, and, through accessing the Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna have picked up more information supporting my hypothesis of an impending catastrophic cross-dimensional event coinciding with the appearance of the Tappan Zee Minotaur at the upcoming Happy Valley Apple Festival, held next weekend at the Tri-Cities fairgrounds in Happy Valley.

Nothing is more exciting than the chance of seeing one's theories proven to be true, even it it means no one will be left to know. To celebrate, I'm offering 50% off all reality collapse emergency gear, including Stay-Put dimensional tent-poles, Stay-Kleen emotional filtration devices (guaranteed to remove 97% of all toxic fear), and Stay-Down auto-hibernation tubes (with 10,000 year warranty). This sale will last all week--right up to the beginning of the festival, or as supplies last.

And REMMMMMEMMMMBER... cash only!

So, i was going about my day in the fourth dimension, when I noticed a hole in a wall, unnoticeable by anyone in the third dimension. I decided to go through the hole, and when I exited everything was amuck. I was like my universe-but different. I switched to the third dimension and had a look around. I noticed a lot of things wrong. Then it struck me. I really should not be here. As I was moving to a place to switch dimensions, i bumped into this weird alien like thing. He apologised and as he walked away something fell out. Not wanting to be mean, I decided to pick it up to give to him. It seemed like some newspaper, but as I looked at it, the symbols seemed to make sense, despite the fact I didn’t recognise them. It was some warning, and a prophecy. I decided to take it back with me. I’ll have to read it when I get back to my room. I might as well show it to @Spikey.

My sweetie @Meemo Skinks came over. He was wearing his "Void Wear" -- the fancy tactical gear with the little Children of the Infinite Void logo on them. I have to admit it's pretty fly. I asked how he could afford it and he said "yeah we get gift certificates from the head office" and they can use them at any authorized Void Wear dealer, like @K.K. Foxhart.

"I, uh, saved some for you. Enough for you to get the jacket, which is 15K/15K water resistant and breathable, so you stay drier, longer, with underarm zippers for extra venting, articulated sleeves and shoulders, and even internal media ports. Check it out."

He opened his jacket up and showed me all the features and it was really nice.

"Me HUNGRY! Me HUNGRY! Chompchompchomp..."

A chubby dark shadow man stumbled into the room. Followed by two identical chubby dark shadow men, stumbling over him.

"BACK Owwart Hingus 99c! BACK @Owwart Hingus 99b! You too 99a. Who let you out?"

"We eat our way out. Tasty bars..."

"Aubrey, I've gotta go and take this fellas back. Come by and see me!"

I've never seen Meemo act so responsible and grown up. It's really attractive.

(alternate timeline thanks alot)
So i was walking around, the normal, when some kid snuck up behind me. it was one of those devices, and when he walked away he was in shock. very off putting but must be because he realized that im from a alternate timeline and i escaped death.
i dont know if i will be so lucky next time

I'm starting to get the hang of the Hide Me Find Me -- the little device that @K.K. Foxhart sold me. As near as I can figure it's a cross between a time-domain reflectometer and a semiconductor curve tracer, tuned to the psychic bands. It's got a little pointer and if you see me stomping around campus with my head down that's what I'm looking at. When I point it toward the Children of the Infinite Void shanty town, it gets droopy. For most people on campus it just kind of waggles around vaguely. But when I sneak up around @Terra and @The Wayfarer it starts acting really weird and then says SEGMENTATION FAULT in red LED.

I asked @K.K. Foxhart about it and he wouldn't really answer my question but wanted to make sure I made it to the upcoming Happy Apple Festival. In Happy Apple Valley. I told him I'd sure try but then he insisted I buy a ticket from him, so I did. You should too!

*and that’s when it all ended. Nothing in sight, everything was gone. Earth and co was nonexistent. Maybe life still exists, in a alternate reality....*

Run run run while you can.
I’ll
Destroy
You
All
She’s there
Your doomed
Perish
Obelisk
Tombstone

You
Don’t
Know
Me
Run run run
From the giinger bead men

The end is nigh, all is gone
rUn
Don’t
Trust
No one

Not even the elephants of the lakes
He government is in disarray
You have been fed lies.

And click
It will all disappear

Do not underestimate the children of the void. They have been waiting for a opportunity to strike, and frankly, are not going give up there chance.

Whatever they say, they are not safe.

-a message from the corrupting terra.
Also psyhigh, if you are on my profile, the rant is under this.
I apologise for so many fourth wall breaks, it’s becoming harder for me to control mYsssEl-