Advanced Telekinesis Class
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Conoco Phillips - 2/16/2021 11:23pmOk, so, those big noises you heard today? Like thunder? That was us! The Advanced TK study group!
First, we hiked up into the hills to a place with big rocks and boulders and do you know what? We lifted those rocks and boulders out of the earth and then dropped the right back down on the earth. BOOM! Then we lifted them off the ground and whirled them around and then smashed them into each other! CRASH!
It was loud. And do you know how we did it? Teamwork. There's no way any one of us could have lifted one of those rocks but, together, it's the easiest thing in the world.
We just have to hold hands.
@
Buttermilk Alfredo wants to do more "in person learning" as he calls it tomorrow night, under the bridge. He thinks we can lift one of those big barges that are parked in the river there, but I think maybe this is getting out of control. But at the same time I totally want to see it.
Mostly I just want to tell my mom so she sees that Advanced TK really does teach you useful skills. Like... moving giant objects. But mostly the real lesson is just one word -- TEAMWORK.
Harper - 2/15/2021 12:07pmHey! I would love to join this class, though the only thing is that I may need to leave this school in a short amount of time. :C
Judah Hossain - 2/15/2021 11:31amI want to join now. I’m tired of only moving spoons.
Kara Ramirez - 2/14/2021 10:55pmHonestly remote learning with @
Ms. Wissen has been tough. Mostly because she broadcasts on a theta wave (on account of the psycho-regeneration) and it's hard to make sense of what she's saying unless you're dreaming. But how can you do telekinesis when you're dreaming? That sounds dangerous.
So me and some of the other kids have been meeting to see what we can figure out on our own. @
Kaia Malone and @
Buttermilk Alfredo and @
Conoco Phillips and @
Lucas Arrum and I. We had been meeting in the Spoonbender, having hot psychoactive kombucha and muffins, but today we got thrown out for making stuff fly everywhere.
We were getting pretty cocky I guess, which is why afterwards in the parking lot--we lifted the whole PHS Bus! All of us together. With our minds. We held hands. It was cute.
You know how we're not supposed to do "big" stuff without adult supervision though so shhhh don't tell ANYBODY it was us. We only lifted it up like 30 feet and only for a few seconds. We were real careful I swear.
But isn't this great? I feel like we are finally learning advanced things.
Lucas Arrum - 2/8/2021 9:46amI know I'm late to sign up, but could I join this class to learn to control these powers? Actually moving objects is easy, it's controlling them that's hard.
Ms. Wissen - 2/7/2021 8:46amI am sorry
Kara Ramirez - 2/6/2021 1:21pmDoes anybody else have a brain cramp from Advanced TK?
Flipping the penny is easy. and so is floating my book with 100 pages or less (The Communist Manifesto, by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels). But doing the psychic pumps and curls with the dictionary at the same time is hurting my head! Guess I shouldn't have picked The Oxford English Dictionary Compact Edition, which is 15 pounds.
Anyway I just know all this conditioning is going to pay off for whatever @
Ms. Wissen has in mind next! I am going to hang out at the Spoonbender later today practicing if anybody wants to meet up.
P.S. I know some students are complaining about having to wear the protective googles, but all I can say to that is "gee it's lucky you don't have to wear them all the time like me" which is on account of my condition.
Conoco Phillips - 2/4/2021 8:37pmMy mom says that Advanced Telekinesis doesn't have any application in the real world, unless you want to join the circus or become a psychic assassin.
@
Ms. Wissen can you tell me what kind of careers are available for students with an aptitude for telekinesis and where it will take us in life?
Asking for a friend.
Ms. Wissen - 2/1/2021 12:16pmI apologize for not starting the class on time. I was in such a deep state of Psycho-Regeneration, that I forgot!!!! We will resume class, as planned, tomorrow.
Supply List:
1. your brain
2. a penny
3. a book with 100 pages or less
4. a dictionary
5. a pair of protective goggles
Ms. Wissen - 1/25/2021 7:08amOh dear! well, do not put your student ID in your journal, but please do respond saying you would be willing to take the Advanced Telekinesis Class!
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