Blue

My eating disorder ruins everything....

It swarms inside me, every bite of food a horror that complicates my existence. It follows me, a black bird perched on my shoulders with its razor-sharp claws stabbing deep into my flesh. It whispers cruel meaningless insults as I wander the halls.

When I speak, I speak two people. One, the girl who is always smiling and kindly assisting but the other is screaming behind closed lips.

I want to understand but it will never work.

It controls me, I am captive under her kiss.

Nova? What on earth are you doing?

-Mew-

Nova no!

-Meow- *Knocks over wall*

Novaaaaa.....

-Puuuurrrrrr-

Who is this Larry Moon? Is this a relative of mine?

I am keenly aware something strange is lurking here. Perhaps this is the event?

Or maybe it is Nova's new colored whisker...

We shall see.

Dear fellow peers,

This needs to stop! Today at around noon, I went to investigate my "Metamorphosis" inside the library when I realized the books have vomited out their pages all over the place!

My first avid thought was the books are sick. But I came to the conclusion it is not the books but is the students. Not only are we starting to slack as the year continues on, but the books are starting to reject knowledge just like the rest of us.

We need to stop slacking! How am I ever going to find the books I need!

Sooner or later all the books are going to start spitting their pages all over the place. I have a phobia against lost paper!

PICK UP THE WORDS GUYS!

Sincerely,

Jessica Moon

I found Nova today. He was curled up in a colorful ball full of purple and pink hues that represented the stars. After returning to my room after months of slumber I feel aimless. I sat there for hours, staring at the wall confused to what I was.

The different thing is that now my skin is a pale green. I did not notice it at first or feel any different until when I walked past the school window garden and saw my reflection staring blankly into myself. My veins can be observed running though my body like a twist of blue veins carrying my life force through my skin. I feel strange.

My body hums with a new energy and as I trace my finger along the air creating random swirls without any seeming interest, I see my finger pulse a glowing red light. Where my heart hides, my chest pulses with this same glowing red. I put on two shirts and a sweater in order to dull the color.

I don't want to go to class. My absence has most likely put me very far behind. I want to become a statue, drink a potion that can stop me from thinking.

In all honesty, I want to go back to sleep in that restless slumber.

Words slipped faintly from my finger to reside in front of my eyes. Metamorphosis.

I stroked Nova, and he purred gently not wanting to be aroused from rest. Metamorphosis.

Metamorphosis.

I was a butterfly. After my sullen lonely time In my cocoon, I finally managed to awake to a whole new world. No more cuts were drawn by my own hand on my skin.

I sat in my dorm debating.

I didn't want to hurt myself anymore. I just wanted to be a new person, and here is my chance. The real truth is simple.

I didn't want to face reality. So when I fell asleep for so long worrying my fellow classmates, I was too scared to exist. I wanted to disappear and stop being the person that I was. I want to stop secretly starving myself. I want to stop purging all the food until blood escapes my throat. I want to breath, I want to fly. I am swimming in open water now, no seaweeds captures my ankle insisting to pull me down. I can do it, just jump.

Just jump.

Just jump.

Metamorphosis.

She is back...

I remember you. I remember you farther than a violin remembers the melodies it created. The color of your voice floats vibrantly inside my head and I tap my fingers along with the strumming of each vibration.

Lost. But not found yet despite my head being placed squarely on my shoulders. I breath without air.

The softness of my skin becomes hard as stone. I am not alive.

He left me broken and torn as he strayed from me. My heart was thrown into a wall shattering into a billion thousand pieces. I became fragments myself. My arm tossed into the raging sea and I grasped that pencil firmly inside my fist and stabbed it into my eyes.

Clearly though, despite seeing in red, I see you now.

A long lost friend.

A tie I wish to sew, a seam through me and you so we both can stop being so lost. And return to a place we once knew...


A place called home.

Hello Alex, Scilph, Morris...etc...

I want to say how much I adored your posts. You are honestly a creative, beautiful person whom I adore so very much. Out of all honesty, I am seventeen and was unable to say goodbye. I was sent off for doctors to figure out the absurdities inside my mind. They told me specifically : "No technology", "No friends", "Only recovery". Of course I had disobeyed them, finding ways to return to Psyhigh just to check up on you. I had thought of you as a little sister, one I wanted to care for.

Anyways, my first name is Jessica...However, my last name is much different. A name that traps me in this dull reality that sucks the color from our lungs turning us into mindless drones.

Please, I wish you well. If you have kik and need someone, I am here. Kik me at negativezerox. If not, I understand.

Please stay strong, be brave when bad things fill up your skies...wherever you are, please always remember you are something beyond the ordinary.

Your stories were not just stories. Your thoughts are not just thoughts. They are an alternate world for you to escape too...

Never lose them.

I love you little sister, even if you are older than me.

Use your spirit, and make it through the boundaries we call life.

Especially my sister @Scilph