Well, I'm officially over trying to talk to Big Jim on this posting board. And I'm sorry if I came across as kind of a weenie to everybody else. But I think you can see that I was on to something, wasn't I?

The turnip men seem to be holding the potato heads at bay. All day they battled on the lawns and lower campus - fighting hand to hand, or with cutlery from the cafeteria - but now the turnip men have the potatoes backed into the gym and surrounded. Those exterminator guys from Pied Piper just gave up and left.

Now I'm having weird dreams. Wasn't Big Jim warning about 'sleep disturbances?' Sleeping in a weird place (the top floor of Yarrow Hall last night) always gives me weird dreams, but this was different.

I dreamed that everything was fine. I mean, there were no potato heads, no turnip men, and there never were. I saw myself in my room, in my bed, asleep, and I knew it was as if none of the past couple of weeks had never happened. Then it all starts zooming out and there's this purple lightning and I woke up with a jolt back in Yarrow.

I know it's just one dream, but I woke up feeling that, well, that what if this is all a dream? Well, not 'all' a dream, but just since they started installing that 'dream firewall.' I mean, what the heck is that? What if it's not supposed to keep things, out, but keep us in? It surrounds us now, both physically and on one of the other planes. How do we know what these NETT guys are really doing? Didn't I see someboy trying to organize a protest? I'd be game for that.
 
 
2008-10-27   the mitch plane

Big Jim:

I am making this post from the computer lab, as my room is currently UNDER SIEGE by a small army of living earth turds!!! You incompetent boob! I had made very reasonable and patient requests, all of which went without response.

When I returned to my room after my final period, I sat down on my bed. It was twilight, and I hadn't turned my lights on. Suddenly I felt a terrific nibbling sensation on my ankles, followed by a flurry of angry stings! I hoisted up my feet, spun around to look under my bed, where I found two dozen yellow glowing eyes glaring back at me! I leaped to the door, switched on the room light and it was horrific. They were on my desk and in the drawers, on top of cabinets and prancing on shelves. They're tearing up everything that's not nailed down, apparently defecating on objects at will, pushing objects of the right size into various orifcies in their bodies, as well as it appears to me both copulating with and cannibalizing one another!

For an instant, they froze, and all turned to look at me. It was then that I completely froze in horror. Their tiny faces - mindless, hungry faces - large mouths filled with needle teeth below their tiny glowing eyes, and little malformed naked bodies - almost human in proportion, but too lithe - sprouting out from under the bottom of their root vegetable heads.

They took their moment to leap as one and attack me. I am suffering from several small lacerations over my face and hands. I fended most of them off and was able to close the door and flee. I will be visiting the nurses office immediately, after which I will most surely be filling charges with the proper authorities. Or, that is, my parents will.


 
 
2008-10-25   the mitch plane

To: Big Jim

I am very upset that the steaming pile of rotting forest dirt outside my window has not yet been removed. Not only that, but it seems to have become a compost pile for the cafeteria as well - there are recent deposits of what appears to be wilted lettuce and spoiling ground meat on top of the pile.

But the worst humilation as been that I seem to be the victim of a 'prank' that I don't find so funny. Someone (or ones) have taken those hideous putrid tubers from the pile and filled my room with them! They were arranged in a path leading from the pile, to my window, and into my room, where they now fill my bed and drawers. It is a filthy stinky mess, and I demand the janitorial staff remove it immediately for me.

My parents pay a pretty penny for me to attend this school, and this type of neglect of basic hygenic standards, while allowing a willful and damaging attack on my honor and personal property by bullies without the self respect to make themselves known, is disgusting. I would think that at all schools, this one would be more tolerant as to the differences between people.
 
 
2008-10-23   the mitch plane

To: Big Jim

Hi. I'm a first year student - long time lurker, first time poster. My room is on the first floor of Eliphas Levi Hall, on the edge of campus near the woods. They're working on installing that dream firewall just a little ways into the woods from my window.

It hasn't really bothered me - I don't really remember my dreams much anyway - though they do start work kind of early and it wakes me up.

But - they've been hauling up all this dirt - big piles of it - dumping it right outside my window - and gosh does it stink! Like, rotting dead stuff. I looked at it and it's filled with these brown potato like things. Tubers maybe? It's like they dug up a field of sweet potatoes. They smell really bad. Could somebody from physical plant take care of that? Thanks.