Sometimes you just want something pure and clean to drink. Know what I mean? Not all these sugars and hallucinogenic chemicals and buckyballs and rice. If there were, like, somehow, a liquid that had none of those ingredients but was cool and refreshing and had no taste at all! Wouldn’t that be something? It wouldn’t even need bubbles. 

That is what I’d like to see available in the HmCU, @Julia Nye, if the nerds in the PsyScience Wing could invent such a thing. But sigh I fear such a feat could be beyond even them. 

So everybody knows the best pop machine on campus is in the PsyScience Wing. Since they fill it with their own recipes, but also a full selection of Mountain Dew variants.

So I’m there (sobbing—don’t ask) and trying to get the reader to register my encrypted third-eye handshake (which is hard, because of all the tears) when this totally aggressive lobster shoots out from under the machine and starts snapping its claws at me.

So I know that @Janitor Pete is busy outside with the groundskeeping, so who do we report aggressive lobsters inside the building to?