So everybody knows the best pop machine on campus is in the PsyScience Wing. Since they fill it with their own recipes, but also a full selection of Mountain Dew variants.
So I’m there (sobbing—don’t ask) and trying to get the reader to register my encrypted third-eye handshake (which is hard, because of all the tears) when this totally aggressive lobster shoots out from under the machine and starts snapping its claws at me.
So I know that @Janitor Pete
is busy outside with the groundskeeping, so who do we report aggressive lobsters inside the building to?