Hold the front page!
THE OTHER GODS tour details have just been released
As all worshippers at the altar of pain should know, THE OTHER GODS manifest at will so pinning them down to a schedule is always a little tricky - mmmm, pinning down! - but schedules sacrifices and rituals permitting, here's the skinny...and I do believe it's real human skin.

The whole shebang kicks off in Tierra Del Fuego - mmmmmm SheBang! - appearing with the undead spirits of Frank Zappa and the Mothers Of Invention (except that one guy who got busted for Epsteinery) in a reference that only old-school Zappa fans will recognise without looking it up online.

Next stop is even further South as THE OTHER GODS goes down to the Antarctic - mmmmm Goes Down! - to headline Cthulhupaloozu, the 3-day romp on The Hidden Plateau of Leng.


THE OTHER GODS will appear, if summoned correctly, at Lake Totenkopf in Bavaria.

Subsequent apparitions at a select number of secret High School gymnasia are still to be confirmed but keep those fingers crossed...they ARE fingers, right?

Two words say it all at Valentines...Swap Meat.

VALENTINES DANCE AND BARBECUE

Feelin' smoochy?

Sap rising?

Romance is in the air as we turn our multiple eyes and hive mind to The Olde Worlde Valentines' Dance, BBQ and Human Sacrifice 2022.

Come along, bring your main squeeze - we'll help you finish crushing them into the ritual container.

I hear the school caretaker will be reprising his role as Yog Sothoth, with Shuggy and pals in attendance. Ms Pierce will conduct the infernal piping with the Crawling Chaos mixing the vibes. We've asked some of the more terrifying students from the Faculty of Non-Euclidian Architecture to keep things in order at the door (please though, anything you can do to keep your Thing under control, the better)

Don't miss the Grand Selection at midnight when the lucky victims are chosen.

Fireworks display provided by Nyarlathotep & Cthulhu

Seasonal Salutations to one and all!

Sorry for being late to report back on the Sock Hop shenanigans, but it's taken us, the police, the clergy and medical staff until just now to make good and repair the gymnasium. Frankly, some of the stains I doubt will ever come out but, on the whole, a good time was had by most attendees.

The limited outbreak of trouble, it transpires, was down to the boys from Miskatonic U (the Delta Omicron fraternity, whose motto is "Not Variants but Deviants" were on our campus, hazing and waterboarding anyone who looked a likely future pledge), who spiked the punchbowl with Red Sarcophagus Liquor. When that hit a student body that was already crazily overexcited by mindless piping, shenanigans were bound to ensue. We've also heard that some of those attending had been smoking the Colour Out Of Space. Word is that a post-grad at The Faculty of Non-Euclidian Architecture and Dance got into the supplies cupboard, but there's little evidence, and sadly, after all the bloodshed, no living witnesses.

Still, Charles Dexter Ward played a banging techno set after the presentation of sacrificial victims, and once the altar had been wheeled away we were treated to an inspirational dub reggae set with Eldritch Dread at the controls. Hearts, limbs, and a few federal statutes were broken. Some sighed, some sang, some screamed in mindless terror as they tore out their own eyes.

Cannot WAIT for Valentine's Day!

Hugs,
Prefect Alan

Fantastic to have you on the team. We still haven't settled the sock vs tentacle debate, maybe you could scare them into a decision?

As per Ms Haseltine, I'll be the contact point for the dance fest. Like all contact points these days, I'm disinfected regularly with sanitiser and present no viral threat to anyone who drops by the Prefects' Common Room with ideas.

The pep team have put a suggestions box by the canteen entrance. Drop your schemes off any time, but keep your fingers away from the opening.

We've already had music requests from the Old Ones, but this event is for students; the alumni can't be put in charge or it'll be nothing but "Cthulhu f'tahgn" and "Iä Shub Nigurath" all night. Thinking caps on, team!

We need volunteers to inflate the skins, torchlight for the invocation, as many drummers as we can get, and of course, sacrificial victims.

The date has not been firmed up so far, we're holding back until the peculiar alignment of the stars manifests, but there'll be a scream of triumphant terror to make everybody aware when we know more. Stay tuned!!

VISITING THE PREFECTS' COMMON ROOM
Please knock and wait to be called in, as we're only able to deal with one of you at a time. Don't worry about the stains outside.

Offerings are always welcome, but do not guarantee safe passage from your dimension to ours.

Students are reminded not to lick the ooze that creeps under the door. The prefects will not be held accountable if this rule is ignored.

Are we holding the traditional sock hop in the gym before school finishes for the year?

I ask because some of our classmates have more than the usual human leg count, others have fewer than average, and the tentacled members of our community have none at all.

It can be difficult and embarrassing, both financially and physically, for them to fit in.

At the very least we should consider renaming the event to avoid offending those who can't wear socks, those who slither, and those to whom hopping is the normal means of locomotion.

After all we don't want a repeated of the time something released the shuggoths in protest at our perceived prejudice against invertebrates wanting to join the cheerleading team, do we?