Ms. Hazeltine

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Rumormongering
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1/13/2021 8:28pm

I would like to dispel the rumormongering concerning the Meat Surprise in the cafeteria. It happens to be my favorite dish.

The Meat Surprise is not the rendered flesh of Psychic High School students. It is humanely harvested from the bodies of vegetable babies grown into the shape of Psychic High School students. The PHS Bus has been the delivery service from their pens to the cafeteria, and they are of the 5'3 with blue hair variety.

If you are a vegetable baby and have not yet presented yourself for harvest, please knock on the back door of the cafeteria three times -- two short, one long -- between the hours of midnight and 4am on weeknights.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Vegetable Baby Activity Coordinator

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The Horrible Indoors.
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12/16/2020 8:31am

Oh dear, @Annie Sweet, it seems you were not fully integrated upon your arrival. Through my interface with the Spongiform Unimind I can see you've ended up in a tiny little Hilbert bubble just adjacent to Psyhigh Prime... yes I can see you there through the membrane right now!

Let me see if @Janitor Pete can puncture you a little hole. In the meantime, keep an eye out for strings of Christmas lights or candy canes leading through any doors, and if you see one, follow it! We've got a number of students lost in the warrens of passageways between worlds and I'm sure they would love to find themselves outside our local reality with you.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator






PHS Bus
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11/4/2020 2:53pm

Oh my yes @Daydria Mounts that sounds delightful. We could even post them inside the PHS Bus, as navigational aids for students.

The last time we tried that we used the Rime of the Ancient Mariner and everyone on the bus fell asleep and came back with long beards. Even the girls. But this time let's do it right!


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





10/14/2020 8:05pm

DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT MARS

without proper protective eyewear, shielding you from its mesmerizing rays.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator


P.S. @Spirit Infinite the library is between the administration building and the gym. Kind of a modern building, built deeply into its natural setting. It can be easy to miss.

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Welcoming the Student Body
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9/28/2020 10:26pm

Yes you are doing it right, @Dry Batters. The Student Body always begins to get a bit drowsy as it comes down the home stretch of the Septemberific Psycho-liturgical calendar. All those trials and tribulations really take a toll. Plus all the soporifics we put in its food through the month.

But seriously, you're doing a great job, Dry. Frankly, the "gray snakes" are just a distraction ;) but you've made it farther down the Path of Unification than any of our other student volunteers this month. Who knows? You just might be the one!

With our sincere gratitude,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Welcoming the Student Body
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9/19/2020 8:12pm

The Student Body had its last meal tonight, at the Psyhigh Active Students Alliance's Spaghetti Night Fund Raiser! Wasn't it amazing to see it pound down those breadsticks? It's going to need all those carbs for its long night in hibernation.

But there are plenty of other perilous trials in the days to come, including the Hall of Whirling Knives, the Butter Pit, Hot Potato Hot Potato, Spam Sandwich, and all the non-food themed perils.

The front-line performers who keep the Student Body occupied in between rituals are continuing to drop like flies after interfacing with the centuries-old entity that is the Student Body, so we'll be sending callbacks to a number of you on the b-list soon.

Looking forward to seeing you in the sanctum!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator






Welcoming the Student Body
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9/9/2020 10:52pm

Well it was certainly thrilling to watch the Student Body pass through Gate Nine, wasn't it? Through the Nemesis Wardrobe, down the Retrocognitive Slide and finally into the loving arms of the @Level 8 Bouncy House. Its Traumhunger readings remained in check the entire time, so you kids in the Student Body Brigade are doing a great job. And it looks like you're right, @Abigail C -- it seems to love crab!

New Student Awareness Alert: Don't forget the Daily Disorientation Tour at 2pm (@Eon Jordan, @Celine and @dollbaby you might be especially interested in that), and Alternate Family Therapy is held every second Tuesday, @Leah Fey, in the Burned Down Wood.

Also, please join us for a very special Reading Rainbow event with @Chloe Spyglass in the Kaleidoscope Atrium at 11am this Friday!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Welcoming the Student Body
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8/31/2020 11:19pm

It is my pleasure to welcome this year’s Student Body to campus! And all the other students as well. 

With the recent spike in positive testing levels for Psychic Protuberance, there’s been quite an uptick in enrollment! As a result, the grounds maintenance crew has installed a number of mobile classrooms throughout campus. Students are not allowed to drive the mobile classrooms without teacher supervision. 

But this time of year is really about the Student Body. It will remain in the Gikudan Rotunda for viewing through the month, where daily and nightly offerings will be made towards its well being. It will also need students to play with it so it doesn't become bored during the duration of ritual. Students please use the signup form on the bulletin board outside my office to sign up for this special duty. 

Here’s to making this year’s Student Body the most well-adjusted ever!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Extrasensory Archery Club
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8/18/2020 7:05pm

Oh dear. @Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers seem to have slipped off the map. Literally!

Inline with the Junior Psychic Ranger code, we needed to wait two weeks before making this announcement, as they were all quite clearly observed being sucked through the hole in reality. Which I made. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible!

Anyway, you need to give Junior Psychic Rangers two weeks to give them a chance to be contacted via seance, but, though we've held a table at the Spoon Bender every night, we've received no messages. Well, no messages from any of the Junior Psychic Rangers, at least. Someone drew the Ouija board on to the table with a sharpie, so it's become somewhat of an annoying magnet for all kinds of stray spirits, but none of them are presenting the appropriate call signs for Troop 227.

Alas! I'm afraid we're on the brink of calling in the Psychic Corps of Engineers to close up the hole, after which those brave rangers will have even a harder time getting back. If they haven't already been shredded by the terrific dimensional forces, or merely dying of boredom in the Great Nothings.

I'll still be holding court at the nightly seance till we have some kind of closure. Though I still need to wear my brainwave powered exoskeleton, such improvements have been made that both getting to the Spoon Bender as well as leading a seance are well within my power. Now that the metals in my exoskeleton have been properly grounded.

If you have any information through your own connections to The Great Beyond, we would be relieved to hear it.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

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Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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7/26/2020 9:20pm

Why yes, @Lasso Larry, a Psychic High School Rodeo sounds like a wonderful idea. The Psychic Groundskeeping should be wrapping up soon, and the newly refurbished Psyhigh Fairgrounds will be "just busting" for a grand re-opening later next month.

Did I get that right? With the "just busting" reference? Like, "bronco busting" or "busting buckaroos" or "getting busted by the sheriff"?

We look forward to the Psychic High School Rodeo, @Lasso Larry. And of course we'll need to have all participants sign an additional waiver concerning injuries sustained through interactive mythological animal sports and husbandry, but we can just include it as a rider to the cafeteria subsidy.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





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