Ms. Hazeltine

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Welcoming the Student Body
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9/19/2020 8:12pm

The Student Body had its last meal tonight, at the Psyhigh Active Students Alliance's Spaghetti Night Fund Raiser! Wasn't it amazing to see it pound down those breadsticks? It's going to need all those carbs for its long night in hibernation.

But there are plenty of other perilous trials in the days to come, including the Hall of Whirling Knives, the Butter Pit, Hot Potato Hot Potato, Spam Sandwich, and all the non-food themed perils.

The front-line performers who keep the Student Body occupied in between rituals are continuing to drop like flies after interfacing with the centuries-old entity that is the Student Body, so we'll be sending callbacks to a number of you on the b-list soon.

Looking forward to seeing you in the sanctum!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator


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Welcoming the Student Body
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9/9/2020 10:52pm

Well it was certainly thrilling to watch the Student Body pass through Gate Nine, wasn't it? Through the Nemesis Wardrobe, down the Retrocognitive Slide and finally into the loving arms of the @Level 8 Bouncy House. Its Traumhunger readings remained in check the entire time, so you kids in the Student Body Brigade are doing a great job. And it looks like you're right, @Abigail C -- it seems to love crab!

New Student Awareness Alert: Don't forget the Daily Disorientation Tour at 2pm (@Eon Jordan, @Celine and @dollbaby you might be especially interested in that), and Alternate Family Therapy is held every second Tuesday, @Leah Fey, in the Burned Down Wood.

Also, please join us for a very special Reading Rainbow event with @Chloe Spyglass in the Kaleidoscope Atrium at 11am this Friday!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Welcoming the Student Body
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8/31/2020 11:19pm

It is my pleasure to welcome this year’s Student Body to campus! And all the other students as well. 

With the recent spike in positive testing levels for Psychic Protuberance, there’s been quite an uptick in enrollment! As a result, the grounds maintenance crew has installed a number of mobile classrooms throughout campus. Students are not allowed to drive the mobile classrooms without teacher supervision. 

But this time of year is really about the Student Body. It will remain in the Gikudan Rotunda for viewing through the month, where daily and nightly offerings will be made towards its well being. It will also need students to play with it so it doesn't become bored during the duration of ritual. Students please use the signup form on the bulletin board outside my office to sign up for this special duty. 

Here’s to making this year’s Student Body the most well-adjusted ever!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Extrasensory Archery Club
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8/18/2020 7:05pm

Oh dear. @Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers seem to have slipped off the map. Literally!

Inline with the Junior Psychic Ranger code, we needed to wait two weeks before making this announcement, as they were all quite clearly observed being sucked through the hole in reality. Which I made. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible!

Anyway, you need to give Junior Psychic Rangers two weeks to give them a chance to be contacted via seance, but, though we've held a table at the Spoon Bender every night, we've received no messages. Well, no messages from any of the Junior Psychic Rangers, at least. Someone drew the Ouija board on to the table with a sharpie, so it's become somewhat of an annoying magnet for all kinds of stray spirits, but none of them are presenting the appropriate call signs for Troop 227.

Alas! I'm afraid we're on the brink of calling in the Psychic Corps of Engineers to close up the hole, after which those brave rangers will have even a harder time getting back. If they haven't already been shredded by the terrific dimensional forces, or merely dying of boredom in the Great Nothings.

I'll still be holding court at the nightly seance till we have some kind of closure. Though I still need to wear my brainwave powered exoskeleton, such improvements have been made that both getting to the Spoon Bender as well as leading a seance are well within my power. Now that the metals in my exoskeleton have been properly grounded.

If you have any information through your own connections to The Great Beyond, we would be relieved to hear it.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

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Psyhigh Fair and Rodeo
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7/26/2020 9:20pm

Why yes, @Lasso Larry, a Psychic High School Rodeo sounds like a wonderful idea. The Psychic Groundskeeping should be wrapping up soon, and the newly refurbished Psyhigh Fairgrounds will be "just busting" for a grand re-opening later next month.

Did I get that right? With the "just busting" reference? Like, "bronco busting" or "busting buckaroos" or "getting busted by the sheriff"?

We look forward to the Psychic High School Rodeo, @Lasso Larry. And of course we'll need to have all participants sign an additional waiver concerning injuries sustained through interactive mythological animal sports and husbandry, but we can just include it as a rider to the cafeteria subsidy.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Experiments - Unlocking Immortality in the Homarus
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7/13/2020 11:02pm

Oh dear yes, Julie. Do you think it will stray outside? If so I think the groundskeeping crew should be informed.

Remember that all students are required to stay within campus buildings and the temporary habitrail tubes connecting them during this grounds maintenance period. For their own protection. Due to the various psychotoxins and “death rays” being employed, experimental and otherwise, by the groundskeeping crew.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





Extrasensory Archery Club
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7/11/2020 7:56pm

Oh I am just sure this groundskeeping debacle is about me, because most things usually are. Against all odds (laid by the Witches Union) my poor arrow should have at best made a two-inch hole, but @Marian Day swears it’s quite large and potentially unstable. My connections in the administration building deny it, but @Marian Day Is taking her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers back into the woods to reconnoiter. Which is quite clearly against school policy at this time, but, as Marion’s psychic counselor and sixth degree spiritual jazzercise instructor, I am sworn to secrecy.

Now how do you work these buttons again? This set to private channel, right?






Psychic Groundskeeping
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7/6/2020 8:46pm

Oh dear. As per the all-school note from the Psychic Groundskeeping and Field Maintenance Department, apparently all Summer Activities (Outdoor) must be temporally curtailed. You can check out the memories you would have had in the Plausible Memory Banks in the library.

During this hiatus, please observe all YELLOW PSYCHIC DANGER TAPE and do not venture into the yards and gardens. Under any circumstances.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator









In which I am mortified
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6/28/2020 9:18pm

Ahem. Check. Check. Is this thing on?

A note to students: The "All School Announcement" setting on the school's Magna-lobe Communications System seems to be glitching a bit. If you find your deepest, most personal thoughts being broadcast school-wide, double check your channel setting and maybe flip it on an off once or twice. That should take care of it!

Meanwhile, the Psyhigh AV club will be looking into the matter.

Thank you for your patience,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

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Extrasensory Archery Club
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6/27/2020 4:37pm

What a wonderful day on the Extrasensory Archery course! So nice to see so many lovely summer students taking up this ancient discipline, and to be there on the day that we found our first signs of my beloved @Pierce Arrow! It made it doubly nice. 

The singing arrows I let off last week returned with a new song, which went something like this:

Where do you run to?
Little arrow of mine?
Through a hole! Through a hole!
Ripped through space and time!

My traction suit wouldn’t allow me to traipse our into the wood (some kind of safety setting I’ll need to look into fixing) but @Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers followed Lou, the lead singing arrow, back to the event horizon of the puncture Pierce made in the fabric of reality. Big enough to drive a tractor through, Marian says. 

They’ve marked off the area with psy-tape and alerted @Janitor Pete and the groundskeeping staff. Of course school rules don’t allow me to send anyone through to look for Pierce, but we can at least keep watch for his return. 

And while yes, I am an experienced extrasensory archer, I don’t believe I’ve ever shot an arrow quite that far before. Undoubtedly my power must have been more amplified by my traction suit than I knew! I must dig up those instructions that came with the suit and look into it. 

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator





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