I don't really know what I should write here. I guess I should just be open and honest whenever I decide to write a journal entry but since this is my first journal entry, I find myself not really willing to be as open about most things. I don't know much about the reality accident or the children's circle (outside of what I read so far) so I won't pretend like I do. I guess for now I'll just tell you a bit about myself since there is no reason not to and it's not like I'll have a lot of free time to do so while stuff is getting sorted out.

My name is Julissa (Pronounced: Jue-liss-ah). It's a mix of the names Julia and Melissa. I am a higher functioning autist (autism spectrum disorder), meaning my conversation skills fall into the more normal category, and my behavior when I am not conversing is within the more natural range making it almost impossible for other people to know I have a disability unless I state it as a fact.

I have a tendency to be distracted or look off into the distance, this tends to cause issues because I end up only hearing a partial amount of a conversation and make people uncomfortable by the sad, depressed look on my face when it happens. If such happens do not worry. I'm not sad or depressed, I just lost focus for a bit and I'm sure we can get the conversation back on track.

Onto something less interesting, likes and dislikes because everyone I have ever met has asked this question at least once. I like animated movies, all music besides classic, country, and screamo. I'm not very picky when it comes to food. I don't like peanut butter or apple sauce because of their texture. I have a small allergy to animal fur (all animals) but I don't mind taking allergy medications after being around and petting animals. I dislike it when people aren't honest but I can understand any reason for being untruthful (untruthful and unfaithful are too different things). My favorite color is purple though I also like blue, grey and dark colors. Physically I classify as female though I tend to be gender fluid when going out and making decisions (like what clothes to wear, and what movie to watch next). My pronouns are of the female variety but I am not bothered by being called 'dude', 'bro', and the like.

I think that's about it. a very talkative first journal mostly about myself but it's not like I'll get many questions about it anyway. If you do have any questions I have missed then you can ask me but I might be a bit busy so do understand if I don't respond immediately.

New week, a new entry. I think I'm gonna try writing once a week here, maybe more when things start to fade or become dull.

I've been doing some work to prepare for a trip to Alaska. I'm a pretty good photographer if I say so myself. I tend to take pictures of the sky with its ever shifting weather patterns and of anything I find interesting or beautiful. It's too bad I can't share photo's here as well, otherwise I would love to show the collection of pictures I gathered this month and the pictures I will be taking in the upcoming months.

Whenever I take a picture of the sky I tend to ask the same questions like, why is the weather never constant, why is it sunny now when it was raining a few minutes ago, why do the clouds look like they were painted on a back drop of blue and who painted them. These questions also tend to follow when I take a picture of something beautiful. Silly questions that I know have scientific answers or make me over think the simplest of things but I can't help wondering if life was really meant to be so simple and understanding.

What do you guys think? I personally believe I am going crazy or already was crazy before I realized it myself.

That may be true. But I don't believe that special mean superior in anyway. Special could mean just about anything. It could mean that you favor something or someone over another, but it could also mean that something or someone has a sort of charm to them that could be endearing or repulsive.

Also if something was truly understandable we wouldn't have conflicts of interest, or complex discussions.

It's nice to finally be able to breathe and relax for a while. My sleep schedule has been messed up for the past several months. I almost fainted when I realized I didn't have to do anything for the next few weeks. I think I might end up sleeping through these next 4 weeks.

I decided to stay with my mom for a bit since I have so much free time. She live in the boonies in Canada. It's nice. There's a lot of clean fresh air here since she doesn't live near any farms or factories. Almost feels too good to be relaxing like this.

On another note, my packing for my trip to Alaska is going along well. I'll be staying with someone in Homer for 3 months. They have plans to show me the sights and all the fantastic views in Homer before showing me some other places in Alaska. It'll be really nice to hangout with my friends there and see what it's really like.

My mom keeps making jokes that this trip is gonna be like the trip in the movie 'The Proposal'. It's pretty funny. Anyway, I'm off to hangout with my mom tonight. See you all next week.

Has anyone ever gotten the feeling that they are being watched and heard by something near by? I always end up talking to myself when I am alone and no one's home. It's relaxing and terrifying because it feels like someone is listening to me every time I do. I even fix errors in any statements I make when I am talking to myself like I need to properly explain what it is I am thinking or trying to say. Maybe it's just me but each time it happens I always find myself listening for hours for the other creature to respond.

What really bothers me about it though is when I actually do get an answer. It's not like hearing it from someone else, more like hearing a voice that isn't mine in my head and knowing what it says to be true in my heart. Like getting information you didn't have before but knowing that the information is 100% accurate depending on what question you asked and how you phrased it.

I also get pretty confused and curious when I start to hallucinate what the creature might look like. Because I can feel what some parts are wrong and right with the body proportions and face. Then have the ability to draw it from the specifications given to me, but not accurately enough to find the creature on the street at a given time.

I pretty recently had an encounter with a male voice in my head telling me it would all be okay, they would handle everything, and that I could just sleep. It was comforting and assuring so I would fall fast asleep when I heard it. But when I tried to get details as to what was speaking to me and why, the only thing I got was a crude drawing of a creature, a not so specific time when we would meet, and partial details about himself and his race.

Now when ever I think about him, I find myself slightly worried and anxious to meet him. It's almost as if I am going on a blind date with a creature that I only know approximates about. I hope that when I do meet him this feeling will dissipate and be normal again.

So what do you think? Am I just weird or is this a pretty normal occurrence?

I'm not saying that I'm bothered by the creature following me, more like I want to better understand it and it's reason for following me. When ever I am relaxed, I feel comforted by it presence but since I am not certain of who they are, what they are or even what they look like, even the most comforting of feelings and the most reassuring of words can be tainted with worry and doubt.

It may be an aggravated ghost by it hasn't caused me or anyone I know harm. It just tend to be around and borrow small moments of my thoughts and emotions. It doesn't hurt and no one really seems to notice any changes in my mood or actions, so it's not bothering anyone else. So I don't know if I would be willing to cast it and the feelings I get from it aside.

If you could find a way for me to understand it more or help me find my way to one of the libraries so that I can work the rest out myself, I would appreciate it.

I thank you for the very kind compliment @cortex. Though it's not like I showed off any of those skills in this specific journal log. If I was trying to paint a picture of something or somewhere that did not exist, I would be hosting a game of D&D (dungeons and dragons). Plus it's good to have an analytical, open, and creative mind when writing something even if it is just a letter to a pen pal, a couple of notes in class, or a journal where you keep your thoughts in that moment. Because even though it can be seen a silly by some people, it makes it easy for everyone to have a basic understanding of what the writer really means. Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a rant there.

Anyway, I would love to share with you my photo collection! It's mostly of backgrounds but I think it's really pretty.

Another week of relaxing fresh air nearing an end. It's almost sad to think that every thing ends at some point in time and even though the way it ends may differ, it still ends.

There's not much going on today. Nothing that needs to be done, no one I need to see and nothing on my mind. It's almost like I am non-existent today. The only thing I can do is keep myself preoccupied for now.

Also there is nothing new on the creature front, it doesn't get any closer to me than 5 steps and it doesn't go any further than I can see. The sad part is that I am nearsighted so I can't see very far away without my glasses. The good part is that when wearing my glasses, everything is blocked out, movement, shadows, even the voices get blocked out because I focus while wearing them.

True, it's not like it bothers me to not wear them, but I tend to get paranoid when I am not wearing them because if I can't see, anything could happen.

Relaxing. It is something you do when you are not doing anything else, but slowly it can turn into boredom. When excitement cannot be found to cure one of boredom, it can quickly become a mixed feeling of hunger, tiredness, and illness. It tends to happen more often than not to me. Like a daily need to eat and sleep, it stays there in the back of my mind waiting for me to relax and find myself with nothing to do. It's times like these when I catch a stomach flu or a summer cold.

On a different note, the creature and I get along pretty well. I know him well enough to know what his personality is like and the situations he grew up in but he still hasn't shown me what he truly looks like or told me his real name. I can guess it starts with an 'A' because he keeps giving me names like, Aries, Archimedes, and on the rare case Orion. He seems to like the sky and the stars as much as I do, if not a little more than I do. He keeps pointing out the brightest stars in the night sky and asking questions that I would also like to know a definitive answer to. Some examples: Who was the first person to call the stars, stars? How far will humanity get in space with upcoming technology? Will we ever find life outside of earth and it's diverse population?

If there were answers to these questions, you would only figure that there are answers to still be found or more defined answers to the sub-questions that follow. I guess for now it's just food for thought.

Sorry about not posting for a while. I have been busy figuring out my life and hanging out with my friends up in Alaska.

The creature tends to stay away from me when I am around people but when I am alone it whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I have started to wonder what the creature actually thinks of me. If it has romantic feelings for me or if it just likes teasing me.

I have told people I trust about him. Half of them make fun of me while the other half immediately decide to forget what I just said and continue with a normal conversation.

The name Aries turned out to be a new person I would meet and become friends with so his name is still unknown and he has yet to tell me. Visions of him are getting stronger to the point where I now know the color of his eyes, the way he speaks, and the touch of his hands when grabs my shoulders to tell me something important.

On another note, I have taken many pictures of the mountains, ocean, and even got a good picture of the three volcanoes here. It's so scenic here that every time I go to town, I can't help but fall in love with Alaska all over again. I will most likely move here in my later years and be happy with the tranquil scenery that surrounds me now.