"NO Franz. Sit! Stay!" I cried. "Back in your bottle!"
I took the lid off his favorite Canopic jar (Aggretsuko Rage Ball style) and held it out.
swayed above me. His twisted arcane will had given him an odd form, with a long fuzzy trunk and tendrils of light, on top of his more usual half-decomposed corpse-ness.
"Franz! Into the bottle NOW!"
And then I said the secret word.
I can not repeat that word here because it is a Level XI necromantic power word and this is a family show. But it was the one thing that could bind my poor undead brother into his sleepy jar.
With a great backwards WOOOSH he tornadoed into the jar and I popped the lid on.
Then I had to pop my ears. Bits of dust and cobweb swirled. The little elf student @sophu
stood there with their dog, quite shaken up about the whole thing.
"There, there, don't be afraid," I said. "I just came to gather up my troubled twin and offer ourselves up to the long arm of the law. Your 'FBIP' I believe you call it. I hearby surrender both @Franz Fiendlich
and myself, to take back to your high tech underground laboratories and determine your justice upon us."
"Mmmmphm! Mmmm-mm-mm-mph. Mmm-MM-mmph!"
My re-composing brother @Franz Fiendlich
is still confined to his cubbie. What's he saying? Let me put my ear to the door.
Ah... he wants Gloop, @Vincent Goodspeed...
! The very Eerie Artifact that he tasked @Rusty Hinge
to find, and that @Sweetie
found, and that now you may have the only remaining samples of.
Though we're twins, I've raised Franz myself. Many times. Like when we were little and he fell in the pool and we didn't find him till the next day. Or after the horrific tricycle accident that took his life again. Or when he walked in front of the clown car at the parade and was run over and knocked dead another time. That little rascal! Each time he summoned deeper and darker infernal powers and brought himself back from the other side, but each time he needed just a little bit of magic through the assistance of yours truly, his devoted brother.
Anyway, brother Franz is still not in a condition to show himself, and he's creating rather more than the usual reek in the Crypt of Silent Splendor. So if we could trouble you for just 500 ml of the so-called "Gloop" it would really mean a lot to us.
I'd ask Rusty to complete this chore, but brother Franz got a bit upset with him for losing control of the situation, and now Rusty's remains are in the cubbie right next door.
I ran across the most adorable, six legged, four eyed, spine-covered cutie in the vicinity of the dorms this afternoon. It reared up and spat at me, but luckily I had some Black Australian Licorice in my pocket and was able to lure it back to my room.
It gobbled all my licorice and then all the Pringles. But it makes the cutest little noises like "poopeepoo" and "peepoopee" when it sleeps. Takes up most of my room though. Not sure what the roommate is going to think.
Looking it up in the Monster Manual, it seems to be of necromantic origin, so thought I'd spam the Necromancy Club and see if anyone might be missing this little critter?
See egg in n Dr. Elf