It's taken me weeks to unfold what Mr. Hmxclxclr gave me. It was the size of a pea. It was in a little capsule.
I stared at it a long time but couldn't see it closely enough. But my Techno-Botanica eyepiece gave me a very different picture. Zooming up in on it microscopically, there were clear instructions on how to open it, and how to construct the very small tool you'd need to unfold the tiny pages. Luckily it only needed a cat hair and a flame, so, still looking through the eyepiece, I gently unfolded the leaves within the peapod with my tiny tool.
Immediately, my eyepiece responded with a massively exponential fractal magnification, and, deep within the folds, zoomed in on another tiny set of similar instructions, this one at the nanoscopic level. Again, an incredibly small tool was created using only household ingredients, the next level pierced, pages unfolded and WOOSH! The eyepiece automatically adjusted to the picoscopic! The process was repeated at the femtoscopic! Then right to the zepto (skipping the attoscopic entirely). On to the yocto! And then, of course, to the levels that are considered nonsensical and do not make any physical sense, according to current theories of physics.
When I was finished, I had an elaborate, multi-dimensional instructional diagram that I needed to bring to life.
It didn't really take me that long. You just have to have all the angles right. It's a kind of mobile that hangs from the ceiling, with a lot of fishing line and bottle caps polished till they shine, luminescent seashells, @Oyster Ray
's Pearls of Wisdom, tin foil scraps, bits of broken mirror, bedazzlers, @Glitter
, CDs, DVDs, novelty gold flakes and iron pyrite from tourist traps in South Dakota, slug trails in the morning sun, diamonds, and reconstituted sequined dresses.
When it was finished, I shared some cereal with @Glitter
, and we watched it all in the morning sun. It was pretty sparkly. @Glitter
said "↷ⅇ⚭⚭⚭⚭⚭↭∌∝ℚ∌∝ℚ⥾⥉⥈∌∝ℚ!" and sure enough, it all did look like Strange Patterns™ for a moment, and then @Ekaterina S.
"Hi! Dreamy, right? Thanks a lot. I'm Ekaterina, and I'd like you to meet my new friends."
I went to the Techno-Botanica for their Solstice Sale, which is usually one of their biggest sales of the year, but it was virtually dead. The alien guy was there, in his giant space suit, running the shop alone. No @Ekaterina S.
And only a trickle of customers.
I assume it's all the DANGER DO NOT ENTER and PSYCHOHAZARD tape outside and the CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE SOCIETY OF PSYCHIC MEDICS sign tacked on the door.
I figured it must be related to the Strange Patterns™ paint, so I figured I'd ask the alien guy for some. "Excuse me, Mr. Alien sir?" but he just stood there. Didn't his suit usually light up or something? So I knocked on it, really lightly at first, and it just sounded like an empty garbage can. "HELLO! IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE?"
Slowly some lights started to throb and it sort of stood up straighter and started spinning its top.
"....brwm...brwm...brwM...brWM...bRWM...BRWM YES? YES! HOW MAY WE....ckrkkk! Excuse us. We were in reverie. How may we assist you?"
I could tell right away he was using that C.A.L.M. thing.
"Uh, yeah.... do you still sell Strange Patterns™paint?"
"We do not sell Strange Patterns™paint. Strange Patterns™paint has been proven to be severely hazardous to health. Strange Patterns™paint is considered a High Risk Vector condition and must be treated immediately. We do not sell Strange Patterns™paint."
I started to go, but then turned to ask "Does Ekaterina still work here?"
The alien guy hadn't moved, but something about him was paying closer attention to me now.
"Are you friends with our Ekaterina?"
"Well, sorta, yeah." I lied. We never even talked except for at the register.
"For you. A gift."
He reached out one of his big accordion tube arms, with its big metal mitten hands.
"Here is a special Solstice gift! Happy Solstice, Dreamy Tripwire. Come again!"
And he handed me a tiny sack.
How did he know my name?
I got one of those eyepieces in the sack of stuff the alien guy sold me at the Techno-Botanica on Full Moon Night, and I have been using it to look at @Glitter
. I mean, now that @Glitter
has covered themselves with Strange Patterns™ paint. Not that I'm a creep or anything. But the ever changing swirls are hypnotic, and we're in gym class together so I'm able to get pretty close.
Sure enough, I do see swarms of little somethings swarming around @Glitter
's head. Especially when they open their mouth and those Strange Sounds ™ come out. I can see why @Ekaterina S.
is concerned about Strange Patterns™ paint.
, you were one of the first people to have contact with Strange Patterns™.
Did you ever find your backpack? Seems like @Glitter
was in contact with it too at Flying Bike Club. Did you notice any strange side effects when you had it? Where did you get it in the first place? And did you get a receipt?
Woo hoo what a sale! I've got a big bag of coils and magnets I don't even know what they do but it was only $5! I went to ask the alien guy what they did and he said "Ten dollars! The whole bag!" "But what are they for?" I asked. "Ok five dollars, and I throw in a jinx-removing mouse! How bout it?" and I felt like I couldn't really turn him down at that point so I paid him. I feel like I got a really good deal though. I just wish I knew what they did.