Psyhigh Students Save the Day!

By Dolphina McGuire, Orca Teen Magazine

Dateline: Psychic High School -- For weeks, this quiet, idyllic campus had been inundated by an influx of garbage in their waterways; plus a horrendous, otherworldly stench from their local watershed.

Thanks to the work of two dedicated students, both problems seem to have been overcome.

Psychic High School students Stephanie and Ashleigh (known on campus lovingly as the "Aquadarlings") were able to both mobilize the student body to reduce their output of garbage into the surrounding system of rivers and waterways (as reported in our last issue), and also single-handedly repel an invasion of Eldritch Deities.

"We did what any right-minded students would have done, in our position," said Stephanie, or possibly Asleigh, as they are difficult to tell apart. "We have a predilection for knowing what's right, and acting on it."

As previously reported, Stephanie and Ashleigh led a campaign for their fellow students - both those of the land and of the sea - to reduce the amount of garbage floating into the school's waterways. But what they hadn't expected was the discovery of an ancient nest of a previously uncatalogued species of Ancient One, or Elder Thing, in the school's lagoon.

"We don't really like to hang out [in the lagoon], because it's kinda dirty and stuff?" said Asleigh, or possibly Stephanie, "But when we found out what was going on down there, we totally needed to put a stop to it."

Naturally, girls like Stephanie and Ashleigh bring on their share of detractors, and classic shaming terms like "cultist" seem to be thrown around casually by haters on campus.

"They didn't do $@$%!" claims one such naysayer, who will go unnamed for her own protection. "They didn't clean up the garbage, and they were actually working with those &%%# creatures from beyond, or whatever. They were encouraging them! And recruiting students to become their evil minions!"

But the record is clear - the threat is passed, and Stephanie and Asleigh are to credit for driving this unmentionable, blasphemous horror away. Though how exactly they did it, they're too modest to explain.

"Let's just say the spirit of the girls and boys of the aquadorms at Psyhigh is strong, and together we can do anything!" said Stephaine. Or Ashleigh.

Resident Psyhigh Eldritch Deity expert @Blach was unavailable for comment, but it is believed this particular mindwrecking horror had been previously unknown. However, giant international seafood conglomerate Momokawa Fish Stick Company has been conducting research in the area, and may have information available at a later date.