I know a lot about magic sticks and stones, @Young Jim Horner, and trust me when I say @Nobody has your magic staff. And I mean @Nobody.

I would have wanted your magic staff myself, and color it goldenrod with my Enchanted Golden Sharpie, and use it to prop open the doors between dimensions. Or at least the lunchroom. But the kind of magic staff that I prefer is a COLLAPSING magic staff.

Don't say I never gave you anything. Like a slap upside the head with my Enchanted Golden Sharpie!!

If my Enchanted Golden Sharpie has taught me one thing, @polo, it's that you can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch a lot more honeys being fly.

Time is Honey!

That's what they say. And after coloring myself entirely gold with my Enchanted Golden Sharpie I learned that they are right.

Time is a sweet sweet fruit! And it moves in and around our bodies as a thick, sticky substance, gumming us to bus doors and fruit trees and attracting ants.

At Psychic High School, we learn to be electricity, and move within the body of this sugary entity with the speed of thought.

Kiss me!

Somebody needs to take this Enchanted Golden Sharpie off my hands. Like, immediately! I have been holed up in my room for a week, filling in every square millimeter with Enchanted Golden Sharpie Ink. The walls, the floors, the desk, my bed, my sheets. I tried to go outside by filling in the Golden Path but people kept getting in the way so I went back to my room and now have colored myself entirely gold. IT IS TAKING OVER! I CAN'T STAND IT! HERE!!! TAKE IT!!!!!!

With my Enchanted Golden Sharpie, I totally aced the Psychic Cartography Exam.

That's why you're probably seeing my cosmograms ALL over the place today. I needed to map my psychic space, which if course is very difficult to represent, so you map the physical space around you and everywhere you go. It's like, have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? Or any kind of National Park/nature trail thing? And you walk the paths and go up the to railings and look over at the incredible beauty of nature?

Well, my golden cosmograms mark the trail. When you see one, take a moment to breathe and open up your third eye and you'll see the wonder of my soul.

Hope I didn't blow the curve, @Nobody and @Kayla May!

I am an expert on getting around campus quickly and efficiently @Kayla May and @Ume Hideko, and would be happy to share my secret.

And that secret is -- my enchanted Golden Sharpie!

The Golden Sharpie makes any space interactive. Plus, it's waterproof, permanent, and writes on virtually any smooth surface. Your fingers have several sensors that can be used to manipulate the device. Your algorithms integrate and analyze data from your sensors in real time, reflecting the Sharpie's position in space, pointing direction, hand posture, voice commands, and pressure levels.

When you're standing confused at one of the many crossroads on campus, take a glance at a nearby lamppost or surveillance camera and you may very well see my Golden Marks, letting you know exactly where and when you are.

Oh! Look! There's one now! It looks almost alive in this beautiful fall light.

Hope this helps! Enjoy the crossroads!

Escape from Bear Country

Dearest @Trinket,

Received cake. I didn't eat it, but am sure it was delicious.

I was able to retrieve items placed inside the cake before it was promptly gobbled up by the three beggars who had been assigned to "tail" me - a wolf, baboon, and a hyena. I am sure they are Egyptian guardian demons assigned to maintain the gate between their world and ours, but not sure how they will react in our world....

Because, gosh, they were able to see right through the cloaking spell, follow me to the well, and go straight through the fairy circle! I am afraid they are prowling in our Woods this very moment. Along with that creepy worm who flies around in his apple, and his annoying cat manservant. At least I was able to evade the zombie World War One flying ace fox and his partner, Baron von Crow.

But! Thanks to you I'm back! Thanks so much!!! I've got a lot of Etsy orders to catch up on, and I'm sure this time away is going to totally screw my ratings. But thanks to you I'm back.

If you need any references for your tutor and mentoring, just send 'em my way!

Ta ta!

A.D.

I need a travel agent. Or an escape artist. Or a file in a cake.

@Trinket, is that something in your skill set? I need to get out of Bear Country. After Intramural Flying Club went haywire and I got tossed into their tree, these bears just won't let me go. They make sure I brush my teeth three times a day and eat all my breakfast and go to school with all the other animal children and everything is conveniently labeled, but whenever I try and sneak away then that kindly bear teacher Miss Honey catches me and pulls me back by the ear, or if I make it into the woods then that Brambles the Warthog hunts me down. I think there's an airport on the outside of town with some antique airplanes in it, but those three creepy hobos are always out patrolling.

Help me, @Trinket! You're my only hope!

Yeah what gives, @Randy Bernstein? How long do I have to live with this family of bears in their bear house? They have nice furniture but how can a whole economy based on honey exchange be stable? Will the bees rise up?

They gave me a little room in the upstairs of the tree, which I share with their young son, Aamir. I've been helping out with dishes and washing their car with a hose and a soapy rag. They've been very accepting, but I'd like to get back to Psyhigh I have a paper due on Tuesday.

I've got a basket full of socks from the laundry room, if anybody wants some.

I made haunted sock puppets out of most of them and sold them on Etsy. But I only sold the right socks and kept the left ones so they are all quantum entangled pairs. They send me back reports about the people who bought them, and sometimes at night I use the one I have to make the one they have crawl around on their floor or buy stuff with their Amazon one-click accounts or drive their cars around.

Thanks for the tip, @Midna!