HELLO EVERYONE!
WE HAVE AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT FOR PSYCHIC HIGH :)
YOU MIGHT SAY TO US "Well you have had plenty of announcements and I have to say a lot of them have led to some pretty unpleasant experiences," BUT YOU NEED TO BE LESS OF A DOWNER DEBBY! BE MORE OF A HAPPY HELEN OR EXCITED ERICKA OR C̸̨̛̦̏͘Ȏ̶̺̃Ṅ̶͕̟T̴̰̅̊̏E̶̩͆N̶̳̈́T̶̨̫̞̿̽ ̵͍͙́C̸̻̙̐̈́͝Ā̶̢̏͜Ŕ̷̌͜͜͝Ḻ̴̻͌̓͝!
WE HAVE HAD PLENTY OF AMMMAZZZING ANNOUNCEMENTS AND THIS ONE IS NO EXCEPTION. WE WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE A NEW CAMPUS STAFF MEMBER AND A BRAND NEW STUDENT SERVICE.
THE VERY DAPPER MR. E. <3..., AN EXPERIENCED PROFESSOR AND ARTIST, IS THE HEAD DIRECTOR OF THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER AT PSYCHIC HIGH.
HERE IS A MESSAGE FROM MR. E HIMSELF INTRODUCING THE WELLNESS CENTER:
Hello Students,
Us here at the brand new WELLNESS CENTER understand how stressful it can be to be a student at Psychic High. Between class, social life, witchcraft practice, and work, how are students meant to manage it all? That's where the WELLNESS CENTER comes in. We will be offering many services that are certain to improve your wellness, the wellness of your community, and your awareness of your surroundings. Just open up your eyes and see the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just peel open your ears and hear the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just use your delicate tentacles and feel the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just lick and taste the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just open up your nostrils and smell the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just be aware of the WELLNESS CENTER.
We offer a variety of services and resources at the WELLNESS CENTER. Feel free to come talk to our brand new counselors, Large James and Infinity Strigiformes. Or visit me, Mister E., a very normal man person who is an adult man NOT two people who are not men sitting on each other's shoulders in a big trench coat! for any sort of help you may need.
Additionally, we are excited to introduce our weekly free fortune drawings sponsored by GROTTO G.S.M.. Our incredible staff member Violent Numen, has incredible psychic ability and will be giving free fortune drawings to random students! Students will receive a free fortune to help uplift them, their community, and your awareness of your surroundings.
We'd like to also thank our other generous sponsors, The Capricious Canoe, Larissa Carris, El Arte Cierto Coalition, and The Welsh Accent Appreciation Club. Wellness is so closely tied with being aware of your surroundings, so we are so thankful to these sponsors for spreading awareness.
Remember?
MR. E.
WOW, HOW EXCITING! AND HOW STRAIGHT FORWARD AND NOT CRYPTIC! WE ARE SO EXCITED TO SEE THIS IMPORTANT STUDENT SERVICE UP AND RUNNING! IT IS ALSO GREAT TO HEAR ABOUT TWO BRAND NEW STAFF MEMBERS LARGE JAMES AND INFINITY STRIGIFORMES. WE ARE SURE THEY ARE COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO PRE-EXISTING STAFF, SINCE WE HAVE NEVER HEARD THEIR NAMES BEFORE. WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIC HIGH FAMILY, LARGE JAMES AND INFINITY STRIGIFORMES! YOU WILL RECEIVE A WARM WELCOME FROM OUR OTHER EXCELLENT STAFF MEMBERS, LIKE @
Big Jim and @
Anything Owl .
OH MR. E, SUCH A TALL AND HANDSOME MAN :)
NOT TO BE UNPROFESSIONAL STUDENTS, BUT MR. E. REALLY DOES KNOW HOW TO WORK AN EXTRA LARGE AND LONG TRENCH COAT. WHICH WE DON’T HAVE A CRUSH OR ANYTHING, BUT IF WE HYPOTHETICALLY DID, WELL… LET’S JUST SAY, IF WE HAD FEET WE WOULDN’T MIND A CERTAIN 10 FOOT TALL MAN SWEEPING US OFF THEM ;) UGH SUCH A TALL MAN <3 <3 <3
ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, STUDENTS, IT CAN BE AN IMPORTANT PART OF WELLNESS TO RECOGNIZE THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T TELL YOUR EMPLOYEES YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM BECAUSE IT IS AN <3 UNETHICAL CONFLICT OF INTEREST <3 *SIGH*
FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU WERE A VERY POWERFUL AND MYSTERIOUS CONGLOMERATE HIVEMIND COOPERATION, IT WOULD BE UNPROFESSIONAL TO CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS FOR A VERY TALL AND HANDSOME EMPLOYEE OF YOURS...*SIGH*...<3<3<3
ANYWAYS, WE HOPE YOU STUDENTS APPRECIATE THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER AND THE UPCOMING RANDOMIZED STUDENT FORTUNES FROM THE VIOLET NUMEN.
THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™