I was totally stoked to be chosen as the sacrificial victim at The Olde Worlde Valentines' Dance, BBQ and Human Sacrifice 2022! And I'd like to formally thank the winner of the Grand Selection Dating Competition for choosing me.

I hadn’t had a good roasting since the Solstice, and my skin was beginning to lose its usual charred and crackling smolder. Just what the Wellness Center ordered!

Also, Ms. Pierce and the Crawling Chaos were FIRE.

So I saw the Outer Gods at the dance last night and my mind was consumed by a hideous, nameless, slathering horror. Totally awesome — would love to see them again! What is their tour info @Prefect Alan?

With all the smoke from the BBQ (or was it the Outer Gods’ smoke machine?) I wasn’t able to see who made the Grand Selection. Did they give somebody a rose or something?

Slipped out the back door for a little pre-gaming before our set, and noticed the lines are all the way around the side of the gym. I wonder how many of them are here to see The Outer Gods? They wouldn't let us into their soundcheck.

You can already smell the barbeque clear across campus. That's probably helping, huh?

Two words say it all at Valentines...Swap Meat.

Who isn't shy about asking someone out to a dance?

In the old days, my fairy yayas and meemaws used their glamour to attract mortal mates, but the big thing about the 1966 Magic Kingdom Accords was that -- as the Good Folk -- we are only allowed visa status so long as we do not do such tricks!

And I am a good fairy.

So I swang by the brand new Wellness Center to try out one of their wellness and awareness infusing services. I did not know they had such services! I was infused with wellness through aromatic therapies and had the wellness rubbed directly into my delicate skin by trained Wellness Center professionals.

I had never been infused with so much wellness before! And I felt very aware.

I was returning to my dressing room, fluttering dizzily through the Wellness Center halls wrapped only in a washcloth (because the luxurious terry cloth robes with the Wellness Center logo emblazoned on them are not designed for someone of my diminutive form) when I saw the wildly popular Mr. E. He is indeed very tall. And definitely not two people stacked on top of each other in an oversized trench coat.

And perhaps it is because I forgot to have breakfast and the wellness steam room I had just left was quite hot, that I became very dizzy and then barfed all that wellness out onto the very clean tile floors of the brand new Wellness Center. Then I had to go to the school nurse for a different kind of infusion.

I hope this does not disqualify me from entering the Grand Selection selection process. The nurse assures me I will be in tip top shape again by Monday night!

Until then I will be in my tiny floating golden house on lower campus, sweating out the rest of this Wellness. And Awareness.

Yes, Psychic Drum Circle (you should see our new logo!) was a little disappointed not to be headlining at the Valentine's Dance and Barbecue. And, as the opening band, were asked to do a less-than-three-hour set.

We've never heard The Outer Gods, but they sound like boring old classic rock guys. What kind of weird mind control do they have over @Prefect Alan in order to get that gig?

I entered the Fortune Drawing from the brand new Wellness Center, hoping for guidance in the matter, and got this free randomized fortune reading back from Violet Numen:

-----------------
roots. 
the roots are writhing and you cling onto a top branch, 
a place where you are soon interrupted
what is up with that? 

patches of consciousness, waves rolling

the free randomized control image:
todays diverge, creating two new paths,
and the two Salutations Children have seen time
and accept reality
as soft dreams of the lonely.

patches of consciousness, waves rolling

the unknowable corners
of where we’ve been properly introduced
is an enormous intimidating reading
for… drum roll please…

patches of consciousness, waves rolling


-----------------

I'm really not sure how to take that.

HELLO EVERYONE!

AS THE WONDERFUL @Ms. Hazeltine ANNOUNCED, WE WILL BE PARTNERING WITH THE SCHOOL TO MAKE SURE THE INCREDIBLE PRESENCE OF THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER IS AT THE VALENTINE’S DANCE!

IN PARTICULAR, WE HAVE MADE SURE TO PERSONALLY INVITE MR. E. <3 TO ATTEND THE DANCE AND BARBECUE, AS THE GRAND SELECTION KING! WE WONDER WHO WILL BE THE LUCKY PERSON TO GO WITH HIM TO THE DANCE *SIGHHH* SOMETIMES IT GET LONELY BEING A CONGLOMERATE HIVE MIND *HAIR TWIRL*

SPEAKING OF, NOW A MESSAGE FROM OUR, WE MEAN, YOUR FAVORITE TRENCH COAT WEARING MAN AND WELLNESS CENTER DIRECTOR, MR E. <3:

Hello Students,

I am very flattered by your response to me, although I can’t say it was expected. It seems that these days I can’t get through the hallway without a student, teacher, or a Grotto G.S.M. Undisclosed Security Guard inviting me to the dance, declaring their love, or throwing their underwear at me a la a 70's rock concert.

While I am certainly honored to be the Grand Selection King, I can’t say that my goal with the wellness center was exactly to attract this attention to myself, because I am of course a regular man type person. Rather we, at the Wellness center, are hoping to increase student and faculty awareness of their surroundings and… such. As much as I am flattered, I know I am a very tall and handsome man (definitely not two people stacked on top of each other in an oversized trench coat) and so I understand I attract affection. Out of fairness to everyone, I will not be selecting a date to the dance. Instead, I’d like to encourage you to swing by the brand new Wellness center and take part in one of wellness and awareness infusing services !

Best, Mr. E.

WELL, THIS IS QUITE A SHOCK. WE DIDN’T ANTICIPATE THAT MR. E. WOULDN’T CHOOSE A DATE TO THE DANCE :( BUT WELL… WE SHOULD HAVE!
SUCH A TALL, TALL, AND HANDSOME MAN LIKE MR. E. IS SURELY OF HIGH MORAL CHARACTER!! AW, MR. E. IS SUCH A KIND MAN :)
HE DOESN’T WANT TO PIT HIS SUITORS AGAINST EACH OTHER <3 HOW SWEET AND CONSIDERATE OF HIM <3

LUCKILY, WE ARE NOT AFRAID TO PIT HIS SUITORS AGAINST EACH OTHER!
TO MAKE IT FAIR, WE WILL NOW BE CONVERTING THE GRAND SELECTION INTO THE GRAND SELECTION DATING COMPETITION IN WHICH CONTESTANTS WILL COMPETE FOR MR. E.’S HAND IN MARRIAGE! WHAT IS MORE VALENTINE’S DAY THAN A LOVE BASED CONTEST?

THE WINNING PERSON (OR PEOPLE OR HIVE MIND… WE DON’T JUDGE MR. E. ;)) WILL ROAST THE FIRST VICTIM FOR THE SACRIFICIAL BARBECUE <3 HOW ROMANTIC <3
THEY WILL ALSO HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING MR. E’S (SUCH A TALL, TALL MAN <3) DATE TO THE VALENTINE’S DANCE AND BARBECUE :) ANYONE CAN ENTER, STUDENTS, FACULTY, OR EVEN MAYBE PRIVATE PUBLIC PRIVATE SPONSORS, ALL FOR THE CHANCE TO COMPETE FOR MR. E.’S HEART!!! STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS ON HOW THE WELLNESS CENTER WILL BE INVOLVED IN THE DANCE, AS WELL AS INSTRUCTIONS ON ENTERING THE THE GRAND SELECTION DATING COMPETITION <3

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

Though I'll be staying home and washing my hair on Valentine's Day (as well as slathering my body with a special fire and curse resistant moisturizer), we are working with our private-public-private sponsor @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. to ensure that Mr. E and the new WELLNESS CENTER are represented at the dance, offering refreshments, positive "vibes," and a first-class burn unit to make sure this will be the best Valentine's Dance and Barbeque since the famous and catastrophic "end times" school fire of 1982.

You kids have fun!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Mr. E. is such a handsome man, I wish I could attend the Dance with him so I could finally satisfy my mother but I dont think its appropriate for us to dance :/

I wish i could go to the Valentine's Dance with someone I love but I'm an aro lol.