The conditions at Stoney Palms really, truly, suck. I can't believe what old people put up with. This counts as "fun" when you're old? They are told what to do every moment they're awake. And they get up early - to "dance" in the mud pits, to tug the giant styrofoam blocks around (ok, which aren't heavy). And they're told when they can take a break, when they can eat lunch, when they can pee.

And I looked at my mom's time share agreement, and, well, I think it's illegal. It's like they sign away all of their basic human rights. And it has NO termination clause. There's no way out for any of these people. Though they don't seem to know or care.

I've brought this up with the CEO, @Cheery Olson, since I live in his palace and eat with him, and there's just something shifty about him. That gleam he has in his leathery sockets, the way he waves his bony hands out in front of me to look at his rings. He's not interested in any kind of compromise. Or legal threats.

Which is why tomorrow I'm leading all of the "time share holders" out of Stoney Palms. I'm parting the security gates of this gated community and we're leaving. We're packing whatever Luna Bars and Diet Coke we can and heading into the wilderness. I am leading us out of bondage, across the desert, and to the promised land: Marfa, TX.

Dear @MontereyJack,


I have read your entry about the harsh condition in Stoney Palms time share and I would like to donate some supplies so you help all the people (and or mutated animals) escape. I am donating 239 rubles, 73 Algerian dinars, 2 inflatable Séance rooms, 400 solid rubber blocks, 9 mind control decahedrons, 10 vitamin blocks, and 3 ancient rune idols. I will put the supplies in a coquelicot colored crate with a fail colored tarp behind the school's old abandoned squirrels habitat.

I would go with you but parents purchased the Psychic High Student Secruity System, which consists of a full body armor, that I can only take off twice a month , and it only allows me in Psychic High and certain parts of the Garden of Sunken Ships without being shocked all over body until I eventually die.

I know these supplies are not enough for your entire journey but I hope it helps.

Ava Elisabeth

After a grueling, 40 minute journey in 83 degree weather, the ex-members of the Stoney Palms Vacation Rental Community have found their freedom.

Thank you for the supplies, @Ava Elisabeth, but they arrived (with a tremendous crash) just as we were leaving Stoney Plams, causing Mrs. Neighorn's chihuahuas to run and hide in the rec room and pee, and as we could only take what we could carry, all members were already overloaded with their own suitcases.

Across the desert the old people wandered, wearing sun hats and applying sunscreen. Most carried their suitcases for a few steps, then eased their burden and set their suitcases upon the ground, resting. Others, lucky enough to have rollers, were able to drag their bags across the dry, barren ground for some distance, until sand and cactus and time took their toll on those plastic rollers, and they rolled no more.

But then! In the hour of our greatest need, we saw it in the distance, beckoning to us, welcoming us in our dust and tears. It was the Reata Ranch House of Marfa, TX, ready to take us in. After the deplorable conditions of the broken down amusement park these people have been staying in, I know we're all looking forward to some real accommodations - a hot shower, a clean bed, and some cable television. And room service! And an ice machine. Yes, we're almost there now, I think I can see the check-in counter through the heat waves rising from the desert....

Oh I just love all the shops here in Marfa! It's just DARLING! That's one thing that Stoney Palms was certainly lacking - shopping. And galleries. I do hope that @Cheery Olson isn't too upset that we all just... walked out. And I hope that our deposits are refundable, because I'm certainly racking up some credit card charges now! ;)

Pepper
(@Monterey Jack's mom)