Oh I just love all the shops here in Marfa! It's just DARLING! That's one thing that Stoney Palms was certainly lacking - shopping. And galleries. I do hope that @Cheery Olson isn't too upset that we all just... walked out. And I hope that our deposits are refundable, because I'm certainly racking up some credit card charges now! ;)

Pepper
(@Monterey Jack's mom)

After a grueling, 40 minute journey in 83 degree weather, the ex-members of the Stoney Palms Vacation Rental Community have found their freedom.

Thank you for the supplies, @Ava Elisabeth, but they arrived (with a tremendous crash) just as we were leaving Stoney Plams, causing Mrs. Neighorn's chihuahuas to run and hide in the rec room and pee, and as we could only take what we could carry, all members were already overloaded with their own suitcases.

Across the desert the old people wandered, wearing sun hats and applying sunscreen. Most carried their suitcases for a few steps, then eased their burden and set their suitcases upon the ground, resting. Others, lucky enough to have rollers, were able to drag their bags across the dry, barren ground for some distance, until sand and cactus and time took their toll on those plastic rollers, and they rolled no more.

But then! In the hour of our greatest need, we saw it in the distance, beckoning to us, welcoming us in our dust and tears. It was the Reata Ranch House of Marfa, TX, ready to take us in. After the deplorable conditions of the broken down amusement park these people have been staying in, I know we're all looking forward to some real accommodations - a hot shower, a clean bed, and some cable television. And room service! And an ice machine. Yes, we're almost there now, I think I can see the check-in counter through the heat waves rising from the desert....

Dear @MontereyJack,


I have read your entry about the harsh condition in Stoney Palms time share and I would like to donate some supplies so you help all the people (and or mutated animals) escape. I am donating 239 rubles, 73 Algerian dinars, 2 inflatable Séance rooms, 400 solid rubber blocks, 9 mind control decahedrons, 10 vitamin blocks, and 3 ancient rune idols. I will put the supplies in a coquelicot colored crate with a fail colored tarp behind the school's old abandoned squirrels habitat.

I would go with you but parents purchased the Psychic High Student Secruity System, which consists of a full body armor, that I can only take off twice a month , and it only allows me in Psychic High and certain parts of the Garden of Sunken Ships without being shocked all over body until I eventually die.

I know these supplies are not enough for your entire journey but I hope it helps.

Ava Elisabeth

The conditions at Stoney Palms really, truly, suck. I can't believe what old people put up with. This counts as "fun" when you're old? They are told what to do every moment they're awake. And they get up early - to "dance" in the mud pits, to tug the giant styrofoam blocks around (ok, which aren't heavy). And they're told when they can take a break, when they can eat lunch, when they can pee.

And I looked at my mom's time share agreement, and, well, I think it's illegal. It's like they sign away all of their basic human rights. And it has NO termination clause. There's no way out for any of these people. Though they don't seem to know or care.

I've brought this up with the CEO, @Cheery Olson, since I live in his palace and eat with him, and there's just something shifty about him. That gleam he has in his leathery sockets, the way he waves his bony hands out in front of me to look at his rings. He's not interested in any kind of compromise. Or legal threats.

Which is why tomorrow I'm leading all of the "time share holders" out of Stoney Palms. I'm parting the security gates of this gated community and we're leaving. We're packing whatever Luna Bars and Diet Coke we can and heading into the wilderness. I am leading us out of bondage, across the desert, and to the promised land: Marfa, TX.

I AM MEKHENOTEP! TASKMASTER OF KINGS! ANNIHILATOR OF THE IMPURE! BOARD MEMBER OF A GROWING NUMBER OF FORTUNE 500 COMPANIES!

MY EMPIRE CONTINUES TO GROW. BOOKINGS ARE UP, AS IS PARTICIPATION IN OUR LOYALY PROGRAM. MY 4000 YEAR OLD SHELL COMPANY, SUN BOAT CRUISES LLC, IS INVESTING HEAVILY IN MIND-CONTROL HIEROGLYPHS FOR VIRAL DISTRIBUTION.

BUT SADLY, ALL IS NOT WELL IN THE HEART OF MY KINGDOM. A CHILD HAS ARRIVED! AND NOT MY OWN. THOUGH THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE DANGEROUS. NO, THIS IS THE OFFSPRING OF MY CHOSEN CONCUBINE, MY DESERT ROSE, MY @Pepper Jack. HOW IS MEKHENOTEP TO KNOW OF YOUR RING-BEARING MARITAL RITUALS? AT LEAST I CHECKED TO MAKE SURE IT WAS NOT MAGIC.

THIS CHILD DISRUPTS THE HARMONY OF MY PALACE. THIS CHILD SEEKS TO LEAD MY SLAVES OUT OF BONDAGE! THIS CHILD UTTERS THE VILE INCANTATION OF "CLASS ACTION SUIT!"

WHAT TO DO? TO AFFLICT THIS FOUL HUMAN WITH MY NIGHTMARE LASH WOULD COMPLICATE RELATIONS WITH MY BELOVED. ON THE OTHER HAND, REVENUE COULD BE SEVERELY IMPACTED IF I DO NOT ACT! THE IMMORTAL LIFE OF MEKHENOTEP IS TRULY CURSED BY THE GODS.

I WILL USE MY RING OF POWER TO ENACT TOTAL CONTROL OVER THIS @Monterey Jack. I WILL USE THE POWER OF MY WILL, IN THE SAME WAY I CONTROL MY NEMESIS CHEERY OLSON AND BIND HIM T....

Hey @Monterey Jack! I'm from Psyhigh too! I heard that you were down south. We should totally get together and hang. Can't wait to hear stories about the old school!

Sheesh! I knew I shouldn't have come.

My mom wasn't at the teleport, so caught a chariot to the Palace. This place is crazy - like a broken down movie set. Old west saloons, half-built pyramids. And the "rides" look like they suck. Pulling big styrofoam blocks around, making bricks out of mud. Where's the fun in that?

I just hope they have food at the Palace. I am STARVING!

Dear @Monterey Jack,

The desert is so lovely this time of year. Though I spend most my time these days observing it from the throne room, playing Hounds and Jackals with Mr. Big. That's what everybody calls @Cheery Olson. He's actually foreign, I think, with just enough of an accent to make him even more mysterious. Sometimes when he gazes at me with his fiery, smoldering eye sockets I think he's flirting with me!

You should really come down and visit. For spring break! I asked your father, Colby, but he can't get away from work. I've purchased you a ticket - just head over to the old Masonic Temple building and they'll send you straight here.

Can't wait to see you!

Mom

I AM MEKHENOTEP! MASTER OF THE BURNING SANDS! ERECTOR OF TEMPLES TO ETERNITY! OWNER OF SEVERAL TREMENDOUS PROPERTIES!

MEKHENOTEP HAS BEEN WORKING HARD. FOR MANY MONTHS I TOILED, RECREATING THE GLORIES OF DAYS GONE BY, GROWING MY EMPIRE OF DESTRUCTION ONE VACATION RENTAL PROPERTY AT A TIME. MY 4000 YEAR OLD SHELL COMPANY, SUN BOAT CRUISES LLC, HAS BEEN IN ACQUISITION MODE.

BUT MEKHENOTEP REALIZED ONE THING -- THERE IS NO GOING BACK. OLD LOVES DIE HARD. OR, IN THE CASE OF MY OLD GIRL FRIEND, NOT DIE AT ALL, BUT GO COMPLETELY NUTSO. WE HAVE GROWN TOO FAR APART IN OUR IMMORTALITY.

AT FIRST MEKHENOTEP THOUGHT PERHAPS HE WAS LOSING HIS VIRILITY. 4000 YEARS CAN MESS WITH YOUR LIBIDO. BUT NOW MY HAREM HAS GROWN LARGE ONCE MORE, AND THE LOVELY DESERT FLOWER WHO CALLS HERSELF @Pepper Jack CALLS TO ME ACROSS THE WASTES OF MY ANCIENT HEART.

SOON SHE WILL GAZE INTO MY RING OF POWER AND LOSE HERSELF UTTERLY TO MY TIMELESS CHARM. SHE WILL FIND IRRESISTIBLE MY NEMES HEADDRESS, MY HEQA SCEPTER, MY TOTALLY FOXY URAEUS.

BUT STILL I DO MENTAL BATTLE WITH THE ONE CALLED CHEERY OLSON. HIS REIGN IS GREATLY LIMITED, BUT HIS SPARK WILL NOT DIE! ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL CATCH HIM UNAWARES, AND AT THAT TIME I WI...

Yo @Buck Rainier! Long time no write! How's it going? I kinda had to drop out of school, but now I've got my own place and a job and everything. It's great! It's at a theme park outside of Marfa, TX. My room is awesome, and the work is totally easy. I goof off practically all day long!

Dear @Monterey Jack,

Today I met the big boss ;). He's the owner of Stoney Palms. Such a regal, commanding presence. Especially with his throne bearers. And dogs. I hear he owns several time shares, and they're all magnificent! His name is @Cheery Olson.

He's asked me to be part of his "special group" of members, so I get to move into his building. It is truly a palace. Truly! What an honor to be recognized by such a great man.

Love,

Mom

Dear @Monterey Jack,

Having a wonderful time. Getting lots of good sun and exercise. Always lots to do - gathering reeds, bringing water to the men in the mud pits, mending the ropes for the stone pullers. Early to bed, early to rise! Didn't realize there was such a health regimen. And such lovely scenery! You can see the whole complex on the front of this postcard. At the top right, see the giant winged lion-headed statue? My quarters are just to the east of that.

Love,

Mom