Synthetic Humanoid Club
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Hugh Manatee 1/2/2019 9:15pm
As many of you know, I'm a transfer student from the Montgomery Research Hospital up on the hill. While it was difficult to literally tear myself away from the formative, hormone engorged walls of my birthing chamber, the students at Psyhigh have made me feel tremendously welcome, even in light of my own, quite obvious, physical differences.
Synthetic humanoids face unique challenges as they make their way in the natural world, which is why I started the Synthetic Humanoid Club. As the current sole member, this also means I'm president, but I'm happy to hold another election just as soon as we have a quorum. We've recently sent an invitation to @Holyboiledcabbages
, but anyone is free to respond to the flyers I've scattered in the lunch room. Though they may be a bit soggy.
If you're considering joining but not quite sure if you're a "synthetic humanoid," please drop by anyway! It's very possible the term "humanoid" is too restrictive (we welcome our gaseous and ultra-high frequency friends), and, if you think about it, aren't we all "synthetic," to an extent?
Synthia Humanoid 1/4/2019 8:54am
I’ve joined the Synthetic Humanoid Club, but I’m not sure who I’m going to vote for yet. Being president is a big responsibility, and right now it’s just me and @Hugh Manatee
in the club. If we both vote for ourselves then it goes into a tie breaker, and the tie-breaker challenge is a breath-holding contest. Though it might seem that Hugh would have the advantage, remember that I’m synthetic and don’t need to breathe! So that would be a deadlock, and neither of us would be president and we’d have to spend all our time holding our breath and miss out on school and friends. A no-win situation if I ever heard one!
I hope that @Holyboiledcabbages
joins the club because then we’d have a tie-breaking vote. Oh, hmmm, or a three-way split. Politics is complicated.
Holyboiledcabbages 1/4/2019 7:41pm
Thank you @Hugh Manatee
for inviting me to the Synthetic Humanoid Club. I accept your invitation and hope to have awesome club activities with you guys. I may look like a human, but I am totally not a human. The human design is merely a mens of camouflage, and this makes me more 'humanoid', doesn't it? Even though I'm not exactly what some people would call 'synthetic', I still believe that it would be fun to be a part of this club, I end this post by asking you guys, how are you guys physically different from humans and are you both carbon-based life forms?
Hugh Manatee 1/6/2019 10:29pm
We had a great meeting of the Synthetic Humanoid Club—in the pool in the Lilly Crypto-aquatic Center! It was very considerate of the members to agree to have our meeting there. I’m much more comfortable in water, and rely on the canals to get me around campus and to and from the Aqua Dorm. It’s so nice not to have to drag myself over a parking lot or gravel pit. I was built to float!
Super great turn out. Who knew there were so many synthetic humanoids at Psyhigh? Aside from charter members @Synthia Humanoid
, there were Dr. Rajgopal’s Tigroid Twins, Q23 from the synthetic humanoid factory on Titan, Timmy Refresh the Soap Boy, Ray Montague the child star who is actually just the coalescence of all our celluloid dreams, and Karlos the Krystal Boy. Things were a blast till we realized that Soap Boy shouldn’t have spent so much time in the water.
We didn’t work out any of the formalities of voting for officers or establishing our constitution... it was more just our first social. Can’t wait to do it again!
Synthia Humanoid 1/11/2019 7:01pm
Gee whiz hanging out with @Holyboiledcabbages
is like being with a full-time advanced physics tutor! I don’t know if you’re like me (and I DON’T mean synthetic) but if I’m not in class then I don’t really have a high tolerance for intensive hard thinking.
So I pull out my ukulele and start signing “It’s Only a Paper Moon” and @Holyboiledcabbages
is very confused about if our moon really is paper and is the sky cardboard and how that changes the whole equation of our physics and I really didn’t know what to say. Instead I played “Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall in Love)” but guess what it didn’t help!
It was fun hanging out in the Synthetic Humanoid Club meeting room though. There’s bookcases and sofas and a big wooden desk and Kombucha on tap and all the members have been really cool so far. And my ukulele sounds really good in there.
Holyboiledcabbages 1/12/2019 9:41am
So far my experience with the synthetic humanoid club with my fellow charter members @Hugh Manatee
and @Synthia Humanoid
have been great. When the members found that I actually have a blood circulatory system they were surprised, but we silicon-based organisms have a slimy, viscous fluid which is responsible for properly assimilating the nutrients of the stuff that we eat. We eat mostly liquid ammonia which we find in our planet's surface but we can also digest some basic earthly foods like rice, etc which I have smuggled back to our planet so that we have something to relish upon on special occasions. As a result, unlike an organ in the chest region which pumps blood, since we don't breathe and as a result are devoid of lungs, our sole energy intake is the food that we ingest, hence we have a two - chambered heart near our colon which pumps nutrient-rich upwards the arteries and this blood returns back in our veins... well I'm just using heart, veins or arteries for your understanding, we name it fluid conductive canal type A and B and I don't wanna confuse you all so yeah... our blood is also much less dense than human blood. (We don't have any haemoglobin either cause we don't breathe anyway
If we bled, the blood would fail to coagulate and evaporate increasing the risk of our sudden death, hence our 'arteries' and 'veins' are tightly bound with extra safety margins to ensure that we don't bleed even the slightest. Also, our species has members of 2 blood groups - ones with purple blood and those with green. I'm a green person though. Oh well I started babbling again, see you later!
Hugh Manatee 1/29/2019 8:25pm
Attention all Synthetic Humanoid Club members!
Please welcome our newest member--straight from the woods outside the Montgomery Research Hospital--it’s Trevor, the Moss Man!
Actually, right now it’s just a piece of Trevor that got snagged on a log. But, like all of Trevor, it has a holographic resonance as the entirety of the original Trevor. I have no doubt that when we grow him he’ll be an enthusiastic and committed member of the Synthetic Humanoid Club.
Some of you have asked me privately how exactly Trevor qualifies as either “synthetic” or “humanoid,” as he is quite obviously just a hunk of moss, which is neither synthetic nor humanoid. “What gives, Hugh?”
No offense, Trevor.
I would like to say this is exactly the kind of exclusive and literalist thinking that’s holding this club back. Trevor certainly has an interest in being "humanoid," in that he's partly made up of human brain cells, and the rest of him has spent his life in humanoid shape (through the help of prosthetic topiary devices), and this synthesis of the humanoid and non-humanoid is precisely what makes the Synthetic Humanoid Club so valuable to someone like Trevor. So, please, take your synthetic humanoid elitism elsewhere, because there's no room for it in this club!
And let's all give Trevor a big welcome!
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