Giant Frogs, School PSA
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Faye Robinson 5/21/2022 11:24pm
The frog fair has been on edge since the frogs left for their Croak Quorum. It’s very loud. The nurse’s office is providing earplugs for students who can’t sleep.
“More bugs?” asks @Mina Doughbreath
“What?? I can't hear you over the frogs!”
“NO, THANK YOU.”
But the fair goes on, with new food carts selling unrecognizable but strangely aromatic delights, wrapped ferns, and squirming.
And new players -- mummers? Mimes on the midway! Performing peculiar acts in hideous masks, epic tales of an inscrutable nature.
I've won a handful of leaves in a ring toss game. What can I trade them for?
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Rosalie Thornton 5/17/2022 7:23pm
If folks are worried about getting trampled at the frog riding exhibition, the Psychic Groundskeeping Crew will have the arena reconstructed soon. And the grandstands will be significantly reinforced. We sure didn’t imagine frogs jumping like that, I’ll tell you.
Big Molly was the main culprit. She’d been riling up the other frogs all week, with her inflammatory talk of the “lost empire” and the “jade age.” These giant garden frogs will believe anything they hear. And then croak about it all night!
We are supervising their re-indoctrination at this time. @dirtpicnic
has learned their language pretty good, and has volunteered to take the new message to the frogs tonight, at their croaking frog council. There will be a singing of the stories, and @dirtpicnic
will relate the tales of the trail and the sagebrush, the swamp and the pond, the bridle and the bit.
We’ll get these froggies back in line in no time, just you wait!
Mina Doughbreath 5/15/2022 2:04pm
I’ll be selling invisible bugs from my invisible bug stand at @Rosalie Thornton
’s Giant Frog Hoedown and Rodeo all this week.
Come get a cone! Come get a basket!
After snacking on them for almost a month, I’ve never felt better. More energy, more focus, and my leaping ability has increased exponentially.
The only thing you’ve got to be careful of is to get them all in your mouth. If some spill out and get on your table or your shirt they tend to attract invisible spiders, and that is a nuisance let me tell you!
So come on down to lower campus and grab a handful of invisible bugs to munch on while you enjoy all the events at @Rosalie Thornton
’s Giant Frog Hoedown and Rodeo. Along with the wild saddle-frog riding event, there’ll be a Giant Frog Pleasure Class, Giant Frog Barrel Racing, Grant Frog Steeplechase, and a petting zoo for your folks.
Can’t wait to see you there! Just follow the sound of the silent crickets to my invisible bug cart and get yourself a free sample. Open at six every night this week.
Rosalie Thornton 5/10/2022 11:07pm
I’ve spent a fair amount of time sizing up these slippery varmints, and I must say I’m intrigued about the possibility of riding a few.
Contrary to what you may have heard, Frog and Toad are not always friends. They generally prefer to keep out of each other’s business. And when you work closely with either them, it’s clear how different they are.
For instance, while you can ride a toad without a saddle, the back of a frog is virtually friction free. So I will insist on a small saddle, a cinch, and a rein.
Honestly, I find that smooth frog skin a bit disconcerting. That and the way they look at you with them big bulgy eyes. The toads back home are good natured critters, and ain't so alien as these. I do miss the toads back home, croaking as the sun sets over the crick, nuzzling up against my arm with their big flat snouts, eating apples and sugar cubes right out of my hand.
Also, both for my own safety and that of the crowd, I'll need a frog-fightin' rodeo clown, so as to keep the slippery devil in check if he gets away from me. @dirtpicnic
has kindly volunteered for that role, as they believe it may help them in their ascension.
So, giddy up all you amphibian rodeo fans! A few more nights of practice on the mechanical frog in the gym and we'll be having ourselves a real frog roundup on lower campus. And I hope to see you there!
Faye Robinson 5/2/2022 8:31pm
The giant frogs have gotten so much bigger. Sitting at a safe distance under the GAZEBO, I watched one open up wide and you could fit a whole kid in there now. Also, what a croak!
How do you get out of one, if you do get swallowed? We still don’t know. I propose that @dirtpicnic
submit themselves for swallowing and discover the method. Perhaps it will aid in their Ascension Ritual?
Rosalie Thornton 4/26/2022 10:52pm
People often stop and ask me about my spurs. And when I tell them they are Toad Spurs they say I oughta go down to the reflecting pool and take a bareback ride on one of them untamed giant frogs.
Don't you people know the difference between giant frogs and giant toads?! What kind of education does this school provide anyway?
Mina Doughbreath 4/13/2022 11:17pm
I’m an introverted chlorokinetic senior and rarely post, but have you noticed how lower campus as become overrun by Saturnailian Hedgeplant? The same kind that fell out of @Lou E. Jakal
And can you guess what kind of bugs love Saturnailian Hedgeplant? That's right -- invisible ones! The same kind plaguing @ebenezer
And what happens when frogs eat invisible bugs? I am going to find out tonight by eating all the invisible bugs I can.
dirtpicnic 4/13/2022 4:27pm
SWALLOWED?!? Oh gosh I really ought to tell someone... Do you know how to get out of one, if I do get swallowed?
August 4/13/2022 9:51am
I know a conjuration gone wrong when I see it. If I’m right, people have more to worry about than being “knocked down” by giant frogs. They should prepare to be swallowed. Wait a minute, does this mean there’s another druid on campus?
dirtpicnic 4/11/2022 9:36am
Be prepared to be knocked down by giant frogs? Would the school not be liable for that? I think we should let faculty know before it gets out of hand. They are cute though.
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