Finding Your Way Around Campus
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Agnes Baden-Baden 9/22/2019 11:38pm
I'm pleased to report that the septennial Jamboree of the Spirit Guides was a resounding success! Members of all ranks were able to confer, converse, and otherwise hobnob with their brother and sister Spirit Guides from around the world, engaging in fellowship, secret handshakes, ritual duels, and direct mind-to-mind transfer of knowledge too delicate to relate through other means.
Also, new Ascended Masters were selected and transformed, as you no doubt noticed through the cryptographic messaging of puffs of white smoke emanating from the various rental cars parked around campus.
Now that the Grand Host has left and returned to their secret stations across the globe, Troop 109 is ready to turn their full attention once again to the care and direction of Psyhigh's student body.
That's why we're hosting Spirit Guide Spaghetti Night this Thursday in the Grand Ballroom of Osiris! All you can eat! The stake which will be in your hand will be the thigh of Nemu; the fork which will be in your hand will be the fingers of Sokaris; the point which will be in your hand will be the claws of Isis; and the blade which will be in your hand will be the knife of Nemu.
Plus, unlimited garlic bread!
We hope to see you there. Tickets are $5 each, and available from our table in the commons during lunch through Thursday.
And as a special bonus, everyone who purchases a ticket will be automatically entered in our raffle for one free ride on the Sun Barque.
Invite a friend!
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Wilma Rosenbaum 9/18/2019 5:32pm
Have you been to gym class? It was my first time and is it always so chaotic? All these people in different headdresses and what I can only describe as folkloric costumes dancing or maybe fighting with staves and pole weapons and a lot of them seemed drunk.
I got there late and missed role call and didn’t know if I was supposed to check in with somebody and then the bears in uniforms showed up and I just knew they were looking for me so I ducked out of there and hid around the corner near some dumpsters to spend some quality time with @Hector Penman
’s Super Useful and only Slightly Dangerous school map and find my way to the next class. Hopefully with fewer bears chasing me.
Malik Travis 9/16/2019 7:44pm
Turns out the big hatch was the floor of the gym, and the gym was filled with Spirit Guides here for a convention. Worse, when it started rolling aside and folding itself beneath the bleachers, all the Spirit Guides were all in the middle of an old timey dance competition and they started falling in!
Spirit Guides must be used to that kind of thing because they took it all in stride, laughing and whooping it up.
After the floor got rolled back in place, the Spirit Guides were real interested in me and my journey and they were all “you’ve got what it takes to be a Spirit Guide!” and started to put the pressure on me to join up. What are they some kind of cult?
They've got all the pantheons represented, so there were different branches like the El Kahir, the Elf Kura, the Za-Ga-Zig, Ásatrúarfélagið, Aztec Reconstructionists, Phi Alpha Omega, The United Lodge of Theosophists, Wang Chung, Wu-Tang, Church of the Palm Wine Drinkard... each group trying to explain why they've got the best path. Now they're all putting drinks with little umbrellas in my hands and starting to duel with each other on the gym floor. Looks like I'm stuck here for awhile.
Agnes Baden-Baden 9/13/2019 12:13pm
Following the success of Troop 109’s campus tour project, there’s been a great deal of interest in the Spirit Guides and how to "get involved."
While we’re not at liberty to comment on the fundamental Mysteries of the Initiation Rites, we can list the first 10 of the 17 ranks of the Spirit Guides. They are (in ascending order):
Arrow of Light
These are of course followed by the Mystery Ranks (levels 11-17) which exist on a vibratory plane too high for unascended ears to comprehend.
If you'd like to learn more about the Spirit Guides, we're having our septennial Jamboree starting this weekend right here on campus! Invocations begin tonight with the rise of the full moon in the Gnarly Grove. We'll have Spirit Guides from around the world staying in the dorms temporarily for the full week of events, so feel free to introduce yourself to one of us to learn more.
If you'd rather just take a campus tour, we'll be meeting up at the bell tower again tomorrow at noon. Hope to see you there!
Thank you for your interest in rituals.
Wilma Rosenbaum 9/11/2019 9:46pm
I answered like the 100th tiny question on the test when it became totally unreadable and even my magic mechanical pencil couldn’t write small enough. I’d had just about enough of taking tests and didn’t I have another class coming up? Did I miss the bell? It was like waking up from a super small dream and remembering where I was.
So I got out @Hector Penman
’s Greatly Less Dangerous school map to figure out where to go next but it was ENORMOUS! I folded it out and it filled the room and was squishing the bears in uniforms and the other test takers. One stern-faced bear walked over tut tutting and spanking a ruler in her hand, probably saying “Maps are not allowed during testing periods” or something but it was in Bearish so I acted like I couldn’t understand.
Luckily since I marked my route on the map in fluorescent highlighter it was quite clear it was time for gym, and there seemed to be a short cut if I traveled directly through the map itself, so I grabbed my backpack and scrambled into the worn out creases of the map.
Malik Travis 9/8/2019 12:51pm
Have you ever tried to climb headfirst down a ladder? I admit it doesn't sound like a good idea, and I don't suggest you try it, but it seemed like the way to travel through the empty air shaft if I wanted to get to PSIONIC PROTECTION 101.
It was pretty tough going, but after I got the hang of it, it was a lot like going up a ladder. I couldn't tell if I was coming or going. Before long I ended up in a vast tunnel system beneath the school. There was water, and turtles, and crocodiles and hippopotami, and finally green banks that snakes crawled up, and big red donkey on the shore and hawks circling around in the sky.
Finally, big iron plates. Seemed like a lot of unnecessary security to put students through just to get to PSIONIC PROTECTION 101. But how am I going to get through this giant heavy hatch?
I guess I could always knock.
knock knock knock
BANG BANG BANG
Jake Harris 9/6/2019 11:37pm
Wow. You guys sure do have some history. I was a scout too once, but we mostly just learned how to tie knots.
Also, by bell tower, did you mean the big one towards the center of the campus, or the one with the eight locks and the (very realistic) fake blood on the door?
Actually, you know, now that I think about it, there's only one bell tower. Don't know why I thought there were more. There has only ever been one bell tower.
Man, I didn't get enough sleep last night. Feeling all funny. Anyway, see you there!
Agnes Baden-Baden 9/6/2019 11:12pm
Psyhigh’s own Troop 109 of the Spirit Guides will be conducting campus tours for incoming freshmen starting this weekend at noon at the bell tower.
As our motto says, "We show the way!"*
*At least, that's our modern motto. Our original motto was ""Hail to thee, O daughter of Amenta, mistress of Peteru of heaven, thou gift of Thoth, thou mistress of the two sides of the ladder, open a way to Unas, let Unas pass. Hail to thee, O Nau, who art seated upon the brink of the Lake of Kha, open thou a way to Unas, let Unas pass. Hail to thee, O thou bull of four horns, thou who hast one horn to the west, and one to the east, and one to the north, and one to the south, let Unas pass, for he is a being from the purified Amenta, who goeth forth from the country of Baqta. Hail to thee, O Sekhet-Hetep, hail to thee, and to the fields which are in thee, the fields of Unas are in thee, for pure offerings are in thee" but it didn't fit on buttons so nicely.
Wilma Rosenbaum 9/5/2019 1:27pm
I’m in Psionic Protection 101 too of course (required for Freshmen!) but the map told me to take the ladder up (not down) and I climbed up and through a hatch and popped up into a waiting room with a bear in a uniform at the front desk. He had medals and a hat.
“Right this way,” he said. Or something like that I assume because it was in some kind of Bearish.
He took me into a big room filled with other students taking a test and sat me at a desk with a pencil and a test paper. I didn’t know there’d be a test in the very first day! Jeeesh!
Is there a time limit? The questions on the test keep getting smaller and smaller as I go...
Jake Harris 9/4/2019 7:15pm
Oh, yeah, you don't want to go down that ladder. I tried, but some people in long, flowing robes stopped me. Apparently, that room's where they protect the school from "ancient danger". Like security guards or something. Wouldn't let me through. I told them I was there for class, and they just laughed at me. I apparently lack the "psychic potential," whatever that means.
If anyone can figure out where I'm supposed to go for πøth hour (or what time that actually is), let me know. Until then, I'll be using the time to catch up on homework in the theater lobby.
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