ah, telly-kinetic-dude, don't let ab-normal-see feed you that bunch of hooey! the most you'll pick up with that rattletrap are some dead bird farts and stray UHF transmissions....

what you need (if you can't find a natural route like a secret door under a staircase or something) is an Astral Catapult, or Spirit Spud Gun as my grandfather called it. first, it is true that you've got to set up an oscillation effect from extremely low frequencies. for that, you'll need 2 different record players, and 2 copies of the old Pink Floyd song 'Money' on old 7 inch 45rpm records. and a couple of small heavy magnets, about the size of a coin but thick.

now, you set one of those record players up on each side of your bed. you've already stripped the sheets off your bed and replaced them with aluminium foil, okay? well you start both the record players, but you play the 45s at 33rpm - real slow. but on one of them you put the magnets on the side of the turntable, so it'll turn funny from the other one. you get both of those going, and you lay back on your tinfoil sheets, and you're looking up at the strobelights, okay? and then all of the sudden....

BAM! you get your little sister to come out and smash a paper bag she just blew up so it pops, and BAM! you shoot straight out of your head, out through the roof, and right over the rainbow.

aw, i am just pulling you leg, telly-kay. seriously, you just follow the trail of bread crumbs......

 

2004-10-5   tkdude

well...at least someone answered...anyone else??? btw...you can always be precise about what your saying guys
 

2004-9-29   normal_c

I've never emailed 'em, but I have got similar messages from them on my Spirit-Bone Conduction Phone (constructed with modifications from the October 1937 issue of Psychic Boy's Life -- "Advances in Spirit Telegraphy"). You wrap two long pieces of wire on the ends of a pencil, and then you clamp the pencil in your teeth. Then, you stick the two ends of the wire into a rotting pumpkin or small roadkill and kind of hum your question into the pencil. You can hear stuff in your head from the vibrations of the pencil. Just be really careful if you're in the middle of the street or something.

But yeah the answers I got were pretty garbled too. I think they outsource their customer service to some cheap garage in Canada or something.


 

2004-9-25   tkdude

please can someone PLEASE answer my question??? im so confused by all this and no one is naswering me:(...so please reply...
 

2004-9-24   tkdude

sorry for all the questions...but would someone PLEASE tell me what this email means??? "Dear PROSPSTUDENT,

Thank you for replying to NAME. Your commencement skirt should arrive via
AIRLINENUM at GPSTIMEZERO. Remember, withouth WITHHELD you may not pass
beyond chamber number FIVE.

Sincerely,

Dragano Horowitz
Fundamentals Reorganizer"

 

2004-9-22   tkdude

i really really want to join..but i dont know how to get to the school...anyone that knows please tell me...it would be greatly appreciated
 

2004-9-21   tkdude

umm...yea???how do you get into the school if you really wana???